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Raymond Soulard, Jr. New Songs (for Kassandra) - The ...

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68<br />

“I’m coming to offer her me. I don’t know what or how else”<br />

“She knows. Stop worrying!”<br />

“I can’t. I don’t know how.”<br />

“<strong>Raymond</strong> she feels what you feel. Like I do. She would absorb your every pain if she<br />

could.”<br />

“I want her in my arms. I want her to feel me, my love entirely <strong>for</strong> her.”<br />

“Soon. Soon. Soon.”<br />

“Thank you”<br />

“Keep on.”<br />

“I am trying”<br />

<strong>The</strong> one-eyed man amused regards Dr. Arnold T. Knickerbocker.<br />

“All is grief because we must have it so. So I learned this & now I understand. All is<br />

grief. Simple, eh?”<br />

“Thine unocular vision, sir, besets thee with a view too<br />

unwieldly to be credible. If one believed you openly the river<br />

would need not bend, the cradle would need not be checked!”<br />

<strong>The</strong> one-eyed man laughs delightedly. “My friend! Have wine with me! Here, take<br />

some of this good bread!”<br />

Knickerbocker persists with but his mug of bourbon-drenched coffee.<br />

<strong>The</strong> one-eyed man lights a cigarette, rubs his knuckle against his moustache.<br />

“Perhaps a choice, as you imply. Yes, room <strong>for</strong> thought. Perhaps you don’t need to decide<br />

tonight. Leave it in doubt, eh? Yes! Good!”<br />

Knickerbocker says nothing awhile. <strong>The</strong>n he looks at me writing these words. He<br />

nods, almost cordially. He approves my struggle it seems.<br />

A life’s anguish. An apex. A dream.<br />

Rebecca sits with me quietly.<br />

Her quiet awareness has always<br />

gladdened me.<br />

I summon it up now, wherever, a dusky roar of power to protect she I approach, to fill her<br />

with my love & receive hers that we both will believe as hours approach us.<br />

Rebecca looks at me &<br />

smiles, her dark blue eyes great with intelligence<br />

“<strong>Raymond</strong>, there is more good<br />

reaching <strong>for</strong> you than you can<br />

imagine. Love remembers. Deep love<br />

needs no continual spark to road.”<br />

“Why do I doubt myself, Rebecca?”<br />

She smiles naked at me. “Chasing angels, <strong>Raymond</strong>.”<br />

I nod. She holds me, if only in our joined minds tonight. She holds me <strong>for</strong> the other who<br />

awaits me too.<br />

<strong>The</strong> Cenacle | 59 | October 2006

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