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Raymond Soulard, Jr. New Songs (for Kassandra) - The ...

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69<br />

I haven’t found my home yet so<br />

I keep looking harder & the more<br />

it eludes me the more it seems<br />

I am nearing it<br />

I feel all sorts gathered near me kind curious loving—the mystery of the night upon me—<br />

haven’t found my home yet so—touch laces with touch—I keep looking harder—the<br />

whizzing brush along my heart of prayers offered <strong>for</strong> me<br />

protect her, Universe, protect them all, loved ones scattered far, as I’ve been crying &<br />

limping many have touched me<br />

Rebecca points at the bus window:<br />

“Don’t <strong>for</strong>get these views—grey skies<br />

pulling at you—relieve you can’t<br />

accept at least yet—manless fields<br />

of crop & tilled soil—keep remembering<br />

contour & color—low, distant horizon”<br />

“No doubts. Say yes.”<br />

“Yes.”<br />

She looks at me smiling. “Expect the best.”<br />

I nod. “Three days on the road among notebooks & strangers.”<br />

She says nothing.<br />

“<strong>The</strong>re’s more.”<br />

“No way out but through, <strong>Raymond</strong>.”<br />

“What to burn down, what to preserve, what to renew.”<br />

“Expect the best.”<br />

She pats my hands. Love kisses in many ways.<br />

“Rebecca, I’ve been waiting this day so long. <strong>The</strong> sun’s up, the sky is blue. Simple.”<br />

She smiles.<br />

“Five hundred miles left, I don’t know exactly. Fate, truth, answers crawling into my<br />

hands.”<br />

She nods. “She’ll come. Don’t worry.”<br />

I look you complete. “Rebecca, you’ve companioned me this trip. Thank you.”<br />

She giggles. Familiarly. “Always.”<br />

She giggles again, two days later. “Toldja she’d come.”<br />

“She kisses like lips to water.”<br />

“She adores you, <strong>Raymond</strong>. She’s going to be with you all the time soon. She can’t<br />

abide waiting much longer.”<br />

“I know. So what do I do?”<br />

Rebecca sketches idly, says nothing.<br />

“I wait?”<br />

“Just a little bit. Give her the space she needs. It’s less & less now. She’s nearly<br />

ready.” Reb fixes me still with dark blue eyes. “You know all this.”<br />

“I . . . do”<br />

<strong>The</strong> Cenacle | 59 | October 2006

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