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QUESTIONS & ANSWERS<br />
PROFESSOR PIXEL<br />
We keep him well supplied in cocaine, virgins and donuts and in exchange Professor <strong>Pixel</strong> answers your most fiendish<br />
gaming questions. Got a question for Professor <strong>Pixel</strong> Fire it off to professorpixel@pixelhunt.com.au<br />
Dear Professor<br />
Q Most sequels have<br />
numbers in them, but some<br />
sequels have subtitles instead.<br />
Why do you think this is<br />
Regards, Percy The Second<br />
AProfessor <strong>Pixel</strong><br />
Well Percy, this is a<br />
handy trick for when you<br />
want to pretend your game<br />
isn’t a sequel when it<br />
really is. For some reason,<br />
developers start to get a<br />
bit embarrassed when the<br />
numbers get too large, so<br />
they throw in a subtitle<br />
instead. See such titles as<br />
Fallout: New Vegas (Fallout<br />
5), Assassin’s Creed:<br />
Brotherhood (Assassin’s<br />
Creed 6) and Call Of Duty:<br />
Black Ops (Call Of Duty 7). I<br />
just don’t understand why<br />
they wouldn’t want to boast<br />
about how efficiently their<br />
prolific sequel machine is<br />
operating. Don’t they k<strong>now</strong><br />
that the ladies love the big<br />
numbers Why isn’t Guitar<br />
Hero: Warriors of Rock given<br />
its rightful title of Guitar<br />
Hero 12 The only series<br />
brave enough to show off<br />
its double digits has been<br />
Final Fantasy, but they’re<br />
holding back more than<br />
anyone - if you counted the<br />
spinoffs and remakes they’d<br />
be well into the hundreds.<br />
I’d like to see developers<br />
and publishers embrace the<br />
fact that they shamelessly<br />
churn out sequels to games<br />
every other day. I won’t be<br />
satisfied until I see Halo 21<br />
and Need For Speed 34 on<br />
the shelves.<br />
caLL OF DUTY 7<br />
Would this have been that bad<br />
QHey Professor P!<br />
What’s with these<br />
hardass dudes who can rip<br />
fools in two and eat them<br />
for breakfast but turn to jelly<br />
when it comes to walking<br />
across a wooden beam<br />
Kratos from God of War,<br />
Gabriel from Castlevania and<br />
the Prince of Persia all can<br />
run, jump, climb, swim and<br />
fight like it’s nothing, but<br />
whoooooaaa, it’s a wooden<br />
beam, I’m gonna fall, I better<br />
wobble about like a big girl,<br />
oh no I fell, better pull myself<br />
back up so I can act like a<br />
bitch some more. When will<br />
we get an action hero who<br />
can cross wooden beams<br />
without wetting themselves<br />
in the process<br />
Angry John<br />
AProfessor <strong>Pixel</strong><br />
Thanks for your query,<br />
Angry John. I’ve never tried<br />
walking across a narrow<br />
plank of wood before so I<br />
can’t personally attest as to<br />
the difficulty of such a task.<br />
But I do ack<strong>now</strong>ledge your<br />
point – the wooden beam<br />
seems to be of tremendous<br />
difficulty to the gaming<br />
heroes we so respect and<br />
adore. Perhaps they have<br />
inner-ear deficiencies<br />
Perhaps they wear narrow<br />
shoes Perhaps upon looking<br />
down they’ve noticed a stain<br />
on their outfit, distressing<br />
them to the point of losing<br />
their balance It’s hard to<br />
pinpoint the exact nature<br />
of their problem, but<br />
might I humbly suggest to<br />
video game villains of the<br />
future that they construct<br />
their lairs and dungeons<br />
entirely out of wooden<br />
beams, hoisted high above<br />
some fiery and unpleasant<br />
doom. The poor darlings<br />
won’t even make it to the<br />
front door.<br />
Gabriel<br />
castlevania<br />
Australia’s best gaming<br />
-zine<br />
www.PIXELHUNT.com.AU<br />
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