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QUESTIONS & ANSWERS<br />

PROFESSOR PIXEL<br />

We keep him well supplied in cocaine, virgins and donuts and in exchange Professor <strong>Pixel</strong> answers your most fiendish<br />

gaming questions. Got a question for Professor <strong>Pixel</strong> Fire it off to professorpixel@pixelhunt.com.au<br />

Dear Professor<br />

Q Most sequels have<br />

numbers in them, but some<br />

sequels have subtitles instead.<br />

Why do you think this is<br />

Regards, Percy The Second<br />

AProfessor <strong>Pixel</strong><br />

Well Percy, this is a<br />

handy trick for when you<br />

want to pretend your game<br />

isn’t a sequel when it<br />

really is. For some reason,<br />

developers start to get a<br />

bit embarrassed when the<br />

numbers get too large, so<br />

they throw in a subtitle<br />

instead. See such titles as<br />

Fallout: New Vegas (Fallout<br />

5), Assassin’s Creed:<br />

Brotherhood (Assassin’s<br />

Creed 6) and Call Of Duty:<br />

Black Ops (Call Of Duty 7). I<br />

just don’t understand why<br />

they wouldn’t want to boast<br />

about how efficiently their<br />

prolific sequel machine is<br />

operating. Don’t they k<strong>now</strong><br />

that the ladies love the big<br />

numbers Why isn’t Guitar<br />

Hero: Warriors of Rock given<br />

its rightful title of Guitar<br />

Hero 12 The only series<br />

brave enough to show off<br />

its double digits has been<br />

Final Fantasy, but they’re<br />

holding back more than<br />

anyone - if you counted the<br />

spinoffs and remakes they’d<br />

be well into the hundreds.<br />

I’d like to see developers<br />

and publishers embrace the<br />

fact that they shamelessly<br />

churn out sequels to games<br />

every other day. I won’t be<br />

satisfied until I see Halo 21<br />

and Need For Speed 34 on<br />

the shelves.<br />

caLL OF DUTY 7<br />

Would this have been that bad<br />

QHey Professor P!<br />

What’s with these<br />

hardass dudes who can rip<br />

fools in two and eat them<br />

for breakfast but turn to jelly<br />

when it comes to walking<br />

across a wooden beam<br />

Kratos from God of War,<br />

Gabriel from Castlevania and<br />

the Prince of Persia all can<br />

run, jump, climb, swim and<br />

fight like it’s nothing, but<br />

whoooooaaa, it’s a wooden<br />

beam, I’m gonna fall, I better<br />

wobble about like a big girl,<br />

oh no I fell, better pull myself<br />

back up so I can act like a<br />

bitch some more. When will<br />

we get an action hero who<br />

can cross wooden beams<br />

without wetting themselves<br />

in the process<br />

Angry John<br />

AProfessor <strong>Pixel</strong><br />

Thanks for your query,<br />

Angry John. I’ve never tried<br />

walking across a narrow<br />

plank of wood before so I<br />

can’t personally attest as to<br />

the difficulty of such a task.<br />

But I do ack<strong>now</strong>ledge your<br />

point – the wooden beam<br />

seems to be of tremendous<br />

difficulty to the gaming<br />

heroes we so respect and<br />

adore. Perhaps they have<br />

inner-ear deficiencies<br />

Perhaps they wear narrow<br />

shoes Perhaps upon looking<br />

down they’ve noticed a stain<br />

on their outfit, distressing<br />

them to the point of losing<br />

their balance It’s hard to<br />

pinpoint the exact nature<br />

of their problem, but<br />

might I humbly suggest to<br />

video game villains of the<br />

future that they construct<br />

their lairs and dungeons<br />

entirely out of wooden<br />

beams, hoisted high above<br />

some fiery and unpleasant<br />

doom. The poor darlings<br />

won’t even make it to the<br />

front door.<br />

Gabriel<br />

castlevania<br />

Australia’s best gaming<br />

-zine<br />

www.PIXELHUNT.com.AU<br />

25

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