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February - Wingspan

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<strong>February</strong> 14, 2011<br />

wingspan.lccc.wy.edu<br />

I took my headphones<br />

off so I could<br />

hear the dog as it<br />

circled me.<br />

Inclement-looking<br />

clouds were forming<br />

in the mid-June sky,<br />

which was what had<br />

compelled me to take<br />

a shortcut back to my<br />

apartment.<br />

I live in proximity<br />

to various businesses<br />

and services,<br />

so I often walk to my<br />

destinations. That is<br />

how I found myself in<br />

this predicament.<br />

Dogs have always<br />

been one of my greatest<br />

fears. I was once<br />

mauled as a child, and<br />

I think the event left<br />

a particularly strong<br />

impression in my<br />

memory. For as long<br />

as I can remember,<br />

dogs, especially big<br />

ones, have made me<br />

nervous.<br />

Every so often, I<br />

encounter an overly<br />

enthusiastic dog of<br />

large size. For the<br />

most part, these encounters<br />

are uneventful,<br />

as the dogs usually<br />

end up being friendly<br />

but curious. This<br />

was not one of those<br />

encounters.<br />

Upon removing my<br />

headphones, I could<br />

hear snarling. At this<br />

point, I was no longer<br />

nervous. I was afraid.<br />

But fear is a feeling<br />

I’m used to. Some<br />

call it paranoia, but<br />

I simply like to think<br />

I have a very healthy<br />

awareness of the<br />

dangers that exist in<br />

the world.<br />

My fear of dogs is a<br />

close business partner<br />

to my fears of heights,<br />

rejection and failure.<br />

If my nerves were a<br />

opinion <strong>Wingspan</strong> 11<br />

Our fears must not generate immobility<br />

co-editor<br />

co-editor<br />

Will Hebert<br />

Hannah<br />

Wheeler<br />

editor’s<br />

commentary<br />

editor’s<br />

commentary<br />

Every person has<br />

his or her personal<br />

hero. Some find heroes<br />

in great men and<br />

women of the past.<br />

Others look for heroes<br />

in the pages of adventure<br />

books. Some see<br />

heroes in those who<br />

are willing to sacrifice<br />

their own wants for<br />

the benefit of others.<br />

And still others find<br />

heroes in those they<br />

know and love.<br />

I find heroes everywhere,<br />

but more than<br />

anything I want to be<br />

a hero, too.<br />

Who doesn’t want<br />

to be a hero Yet I<br />

don’t want to be<br />

Supergirl. I just want<br />

to inspire one other<br />

person to have hope<br />

for a better future. I<br />

think heroes are made<br />

when people make<br />

the choice to be brave<br />

in the face of change,<br />

to take a chance that<br />

another person can<br />

be trusted, to find the<br />

hope and the strength<br />

to go on through<br />

adversity.<br />

I have watched<br />

people overcome<br />

obstacles and painful<br />

times while I wished<br />

for the strength to<br />

overcome my trials as<br />

well.<br />

Last December,<br />

I watched a friend<br />

break down after her<br />

mother revealed her<br />

cancer had come like<br />

a thief in the night<br />

to steal their time<br />

together. I saw her cry<br />

as though her world<br />

“Some call it paranoia, but<br />

I simply like to think I have<br />

a very healthy awareness<br />

of the dangers that exist<br />

in the world.”<br />

company, the four<br />

would be executives<br />

who control the lesser<br />

shareholders and inform<br />

them of ways to<br />

make me sleep less.<br />

While my fear of<br />

dogs was the acting<br />

president on that<br />

summer afternoon,<br />

my fear of failure has<br />

taken over this month.<br />

This is my first issue<br />

as editor of <strong>Wingspan</strong>,<br />

and the thought of<br />

being overshadowed<br />

by the work of my predecessors<br />

is looming<br />

in my mind.<br />

I have a great deal<br />

of respect for the editors<br />

who came before<br />

me and have recently<br />

was falling apart, and,<br />

the next week, I saw<br />

her pick herself up<br />

and go forward with<br />

her life. She said her<br />

mother was a hero,<br />

but I think her mother<br />

isn’t the only hero in<br />

that family.<br />

In early January,<br />

I watched my sister<br />

quietly go on without<br />

her husband<br />

after he deployed<br />

to Afghanistan for<br />

a year—she has a<br />

1-year-old daughter.<br />

I was there when<br />

people from all over<br />

realized it is now my<br />

responsibility to live<br />

up to that legacy.<br />

When the idea to<br />

apply for editorship<br />

first entered my head,<br />

it was similar to most<br />

of my ideas: It was<br />

poorly constructed<br />

and half thought<br />

through at best.<br />

Recently, I have realized<br />

what’s in store<br />

for me, and I am no<br />

longer nervous about<br />

the upcoming ordeal.<br />

I am afraid.<br />

But despite the<br />

prominence of my<br />

fear, I will not let it<br />

render me idle.<br />

The dog that had<br />

taken a dislike to me<br />

the state, friends and<br />

family came to say<br />

goodbye to my brother-in-law.<br />

I watched<br />

their daughter, oblivious<br />

to her father’s<br />

impending departure,<br />

squeak her shoes and<br />

talk gibberish at the<br />

military send-off.<br />

And later in<br />

January, I watched<br />

on TV a husband tell<br />

the world his beloved<br />

wife would get better.<br />

I watched as he cried<br />

for the 6-year-old<br />

girl who died in the<br />

parking lot where his<br />

didn’t end up ripping<br />

out my jugular.<br />

It had jumped over<br />

the fence of a nearby<br />

house (Big dogs are<br />

especially frightening<br />

in conjunction with<br />

small fences.), and<br />

the owner appeared<br />

before my impending<br />

death would have<br />

taken place.<br />

And despite some<br />

hastily made promises<br />

to the universe,<br />

I still trudge my way<br />

to many destinations.<br />

The fear still exists,<br />

and I get particularly<br />

jumpy when I think I<br />

hear a jingling collar,<br />

but I don’t let it control<br />

me.<br />

However, I have<br />

changed some things<br />

about my escapades.<br />

I am now aware of<br />

which houses bring<br />

greater chances<br />

of such a canine<br />

encounter and try to<br />

avoid those areas.<br />

wife was shot. I was<br />

amazed at the tragedy<br />

that had taken so<br />

much from so many,<br />

and yet through the<br />

death and fear people<br />

were still finding<br />

hope.<br />

I found all these<br />

people to be heroes.<br />

Although they<br />

might not look like<br />

heroes with capes<br />

and masks and even<br />

though they might<br />

scoff at the idea, they<br />

still inspired me.<br />

Webster’s dictionary<br />

defines a<br />

hero as “any person<br />

admired for qualities<br />

or achievements and<br />

regarded as an ideal or<br />

model.”<br />

Whoever said a<br />

hero must be a lifesaver<br />

Who said a hero<br />

must have superpowers<br />

Although I am<br />

afraid to fail at my<br />

new position with this<br />

publication, I will not<br />

let that fear deter me.<br />

Just as I adjusted my<br />

methods to ensure I<br />

don’t get physically<br />

mauled, I will adjust<br />

and adapt as an editor<br />

to ensure I don’t<br />

get metaphorically<br />

mauled in my new<br />

position.<br />

There will always<br />

be hazards I cannot<br />

control, and nobody<br />

can avoid failure on<br />

all levels. Despite how<br />

spiritually crushing<br />

they can feel, each<br />

failure is a learning<br />

experience.<br />

Just as I learned<br />

where not to walk,<br />

I’m quite certain I will<br />

learn in the coming<br />

months how not to<br />

organize a publication<br />

and, in the end,<br />

become more skilled<br />

at the job.<br />

Editor aspires to become everyday hero<br />

“Aren’t we heroes<br />

to ourselves just by getting<br />

through life Aren’t we<br />

heroes by never giving up<br />

hope”<br />

Aren’t we heroes<br />

to ourselves just by<br />

getting through life<br />

Aren’t we heroes by<br />

never giving up hope<br />

After watching<br />

these people, who<br />

bravely faced cancer,<br />

war and violence, who<br />

inspired hope in me, I<br />

am determined to follow<br />

in their footsteps<br />

and become a hero,<br />

if not by Webster’s<br />

definition.<br />

I may be only<br />

a loving aunt and,<br />

someday, a mother;<br />

I may be only a loyal<br />

friend through rain or<br />

shine; I may be only a<br />

young woman dreaming<br />

of adventures, but<br />

if that is all I ever am,<br />

I will be satisfied. I<br />

will grow up to be a<br />

hero, just as I always<br />

wanted.

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