Coordinator - Sweet Adelines International

Chapter 1: Team Tools
their participation, and the teamwork
Cohesion of team members is high
Members feel accepted and liked by other
members
High level of trust among members
Feelings are released and dissipated;
tension is decreased; positive feelings
dominate
Regional Management Team Handbook
4/13
their participation, and the teamwork
Cohesion of team members is low
Members feel rejected and disliked by other team
team members
Low level of trust among members
Feelings are repressed, suppressed, still
present; tension is increased; negative feelings
dominate
The ability to manage controversy is increased The ability to manage controversy is
decreased
High level of learning about the issue under
discussion
Low level of learning about the issue under
discussion
Handling an Angry Person
Here’s a conflict quiz: When an irate person yells at you, what do you do?
A. Exert a soothing influence by telling the individual to “calm down.”
B. End the conversation as quickly as possible.
C. Sit still, keep quiet, and let the speaker rant and rave for as long as it takes.
D. Yell back.
If you answered A or B, nice try. Both responses seem logical. Although D may be how
you would like to respond, don’t! You never want to lose control just because the other
person has already lost it. The correct answer is C. The best communicators know exactly
how to respond to an angry or upset person—remain silent and outwardly dispassionate.
They wait until the person runs out of words and has nothing more to say. When an angry
person blows off steam and vents, her fury dies down. Only then is she ready to listen.
Some individuals may storm longer than others. Be prepared to let an angry person vent
at her own pace.
Granted, it isn’t easy to sit there and take it, especially when the offending party is loud
and hostile. But, if your ultimate goal is to make her receptive to what you have to say,
then you can win the individual over only after she has regained at least some of her
composure. The toughest part of allowing others to rant and rave is resisting the urge to
fight back verbally or interrupt them to try to improve the situation.
Monitor your body language when tempers flare. Your facial expressions, posture, and
gestures can work for or against you. Avoid crossing your arms like a drill sergeant.
Loosen facial muscles and relax your jaw. If you can show that you’re willing to listen to
others without becoming visibly upset, then they’ll work through their negative emotions
faster and grow more receptive to hearing your side of the story.
Steps to Follow When Confronted by an Angry or Upset Individual:
Time to talk. Defuse the anger of an upset person by giving them time to talk.
Let the individual say whatever is on her mind, no matter how long it takes. If you’re
on the phone, remain completely quiet. Be a good listener and let the sender know you
Team Tools • 1-11