=jûK 8 \|Ot æuèjù"ä !úrª|NÚ}[ <strong>2013</strong> UÚjDjÚjÜu :jAj" N;j"ú|
=jûK 9 LAUGHTER At Niagara falls..! Guide: I welcome you all to Niagara Falls.. These are the world's largest waterfalls & the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard. Now I request the indian ladies to keep quiet so that we can hear the Niagara Falls...!!! *** WIFE: Suno ji, agar tumhare Baal isi raftar se jhadte rahe to main tumhe talaq de dungi Pati: hey bhagwaan aur main pagal inko bachane ki koshish kar raha tha! *** Ek bahoot maasoom si Biwi thi... Neeche kya dekh rhe ho...... Bhai... Joke to upar hi tha.... *** Husband to wife - "Wow honey, the house is so clean! Was the Whatsapp server down today?" *** Ek aurat ki bade shaher me interview ke baad naukari lag gai, usne socha 'apne pati ko SMS? kar du, taaki unhe chinta na ho' Par Usne Galati se galat no. Par SMS bhej diya Jisko ye MSG mila wo apni patni ka antim sanskaar kar ke laut raha thaa, SMS padh te hi wo behosh ho gaya. MSG? kuch is tarah ka thaa...... ....'mai sahi salamat pahuch gai hu, yaha rahene ki b achhi suvidhaa hai, aap chinta mat karna 1 - 2 din me aap ko bi bula lungi...' *** Sita ji k vanvaas, Jane mein bahut badi seekh hai. Wah wah.!! Sita ji k vanvaas, jane mein bahut badi seekh hai. Ghar me 3-3 saas, ho to jungle hi theek hai !!! The reality msg - Wife to Husband : You should learn to embrace your mistakes..... He hugged her tightly......! *** Behen ki Vidayi per Chota bhai bola: Papa! Didi roh rahi Hai but JiJu toh nahi roh rahe? Papa: Beta! Didi Gate tak royegi, Jiju Qabar tak royga... ? *** BABA Ramdev Kehte Hai, "Achhi Sehat K Liye Saas Par Control Kare" Ab Baba Ko Kaun Samajhaye Ki, Logo Se Biwi Control Nahi Hoti To Saas Par Kaise Control Kare. *** Boss : Dukh Hamesha saath Rehta Hai Magar Khushi Aati Jati Rehti Hai' Santa, please explain this in English. Santa :"My Wife Is With Me, But Her sister Comes & Goes !” *** Jinn Bottle se aazad hone ke baad- "Kya Hukam hai Mere Aaqa?" Maalik: "Kuchh aisa karo ke saari biwiyaan apne husbands ki sab baatein maan ne lagein." Jinn waapas bottle mein jaate huye- "Chacha, dhakkan Zaraa Tight Lagana. *** Super msg of the day .... "If newly weds are called "Love Birds" What do you call the couples married for years? “Angry Birds” *** Wife: Ye galt hai ji. Aapne bola tha aap bina Kaaran nahi piyengey Husband: kaaran hai pagli. Diwali aa rahi hai, rocket ke liye bottle bhi toh chahiye. *** Nikaah K Baad Dulha: Maulvi saheb aapki Fees kitni hui? Maulvi : Janab, Begum Ki Khubsurti Ke Mutabik De do. Dulhe Miya Ne 10 ka note De Diye aur uth kar jaane lage. Achanak Hawa Se Dulhan Ka Ghunghat Uth Gaya. Maulvi : Ama Miya Baki paise To Lete jao. *** A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman "Which book has helped you most in your life?" The woman replied "My husband's cheque book !! \|Ot æuèjù"ä !úrª|NÚ}[ <strong>2013</strong> Symmetrical Perfection Building that perfect body needs patience. THE KEY INGREDIENT TO A GREAT BODY IS patience, a virtue one needs in dollops along with a balanced diet, the right quantity of supplements, happiness from within and an understanding of your body type. 4th Birthday The perfect body is achievable with dedication and care. Letting go of your ego is vital - you're not training for the PYT who's checking you out at the gym, nor are you competing with the guy who beats you at weights. Remember always - you are training for yourself so that your body is perfectly symmetrical. Understanding your body type is the first step - how fast or slow you gain muscle, your metabolic rate, weak points and the kind of diet that suits you the most. And, remember always to train the lower part of the body as well, or you might just end up with those awful matchstick legs! BASIC EXERCISES Step 1: Organise your day according to the best time that suits you (mornings are ideal for most). Follow a diet and train your weak points twice longer than the strong ones. Step 2: Start with warm-ups-side bends, forward bends, hamstring stretches, lunges, feet apart seated forward bends, inner thigh stretches, quad rep stretches, spinal twists, hanging stretches, cycling. This gets your blood flow right and 15 to 20 minutes gives you a good cardio workout. Step 3: To gain muscle mass, start by training to failure - meaning start with low weights and keep increasing them till the maximum that you can pump your blood. For e.g., you start with 5 or 10 kilos with 25 reps and you fail at the 26th rep, then you increase the plates by 15 or 20 kilos with 15 reps and you fail at 16 rep. You follow the increased pattern until you can't do anymore reps. Step 4: Following a diet is necessary, six meals a day is ideal, but since most of us work during the normal hours it becomes difficult to follow such a diet, that's where supplements plays a part. Taking the right supplement in the right quantity is even more important as an excess of anything can cause serious repercussions. Step 5: Working out with the right mix of body parts (chest and biceps, shoulders and triceps, hamstrings and quads, back and calves, abdominals everyday) is essential to achieving perfect symmetry. Step 6: The right exercise for the right body part (for chest - bench press; arms - curls; triceps - pushdown; quads - squats; shoulders - side raises to enhance the caps of the shoulders; abdominals - hanging leg raises; hamstring - hamstring curls; calves - standing calf raises) Increases muscle mass. DIET To gain muscle mass, a high protein, moderate carbohydrate diet containing supplements (shakes) in equal portions would prehaps be the best combination, yet it's advisable to consult your trainer. Injuries, and training around injuries shouldn't be taken lightly. These can be of two types - a great 1 tier or a great 5 tier injury. It's always best to consult a physiotherapist. A great 1 tier is a small injury which can keep you away from the gym for a week or two. In case of a great 5 tier, going to the gym can take months. Depending on the severity of the injury, training could be continued through the injury. Let's say, if it's a bicep injury you would need to focus on the triceps or the legs. If the upper body is injured training around the lower body would be a sensible option. THIYA BELAKU, <strong>October</strong> <strong>2013</strong>
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