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get the name clearly.” Then, if it was an unusual name, he would say, “How is itspelled?”During the conversation, he took the trouble to repeat the name several times, and tried toassociate it in his mind with the person’s features, expression and general appearance.If the person was someone of importance, Napoleon went to even further pains. As soonas His Royal Highness was alone, he wrote the name down on a piece of paper, looked atit, concentrated on it, fixed it securely in his mind, and then tore up the paper. In thisway, he gained an eye impression of the name as well as an ear impression.All this takes time, but “Good manners,” said Emerson, "are made up of petty sacrifices.”The importance of remembering and using names is not just the prerogative of kings andcorporate executives. It works for all of us. Ken Nottingham, an employee of GeneralMotors in Indiana, usually had lunch at the company cafeteria. He noticed that thewoman who worked behind the counter always had a scowl on her face. “She had beenmaking sandwiches for about two hours and I was just another sandwich to her. I told herwhat I wanted. She weighed out the ham on a little scale, then she gave me one leaf oflettuce, a few potato chips and handed them to me.“The next day I went through the same line. Same woman, same scowl. The onlydifference was I noticed her nametag. I smiled and said, ‘Hello, Eunice,’ and then toldher what I wanted. Well, she forgot the scale, piled on the ham, gave me three leaves oflettuce and heaped on the potato chips until they fell off the plate.”We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realize that this single item iswholly and completely owned by the person with whom we are dealing and nobody else.The name sets the individual apart; it makes him or her unique among all others. Theinformation we are imparting or the request we are making takes on a special importancewhen we approach the situation with the name of the individual. From the waitress to thesenior executive, the name will work magic as we deal with others.PRINCIPLE 3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest andmost important sound in any language.! '$!
4AN EASY WAY TO BECOME A GOODCONVERSATIONALISTSome time ago, I attended a bridge party. I don’t play bridge - and there was a womanthere who didn’t play bridge either. She had discovered that I had once been LowellThomas’ manager before he went on the radio and that I had traveled in Europe a greatdeal while helping him prepare the illustrated travel talks he was then delivering. So shesaid: “Oh, Mr. Carnegie, I do want you to tell me about all the wonderful places you havevisited and the sights you have seen.”As we sat down on the sofa, she remarked that she and her husband had recently returnedfrom a trip to Africa. “Africa!” I exclaimed. “How interesting! I’ve always wanted to seeAfrica, but I never got there except for a twenty-four-hour stay once in Algiers. Tell me,did you visit the big-game country? Yes? How fortunate. I envy you. Do tell me aboutAfrica.”That kept her talking for forty-five minutes. She never again asked me where I had beenor what I had seen. She didn’t want to hear me talk about my travels. All she wanted wasan interested listener, so she could expand her ego and tell about where she had been.Was she unusual? No. Many people are like that.For example, I met a distinguished botanist at a dinner party given by a New York bookpublisher. I had never talked with a botanist before, and I found him fascinating. Iliterally sat on the edge of my chair and listened while he spoke of exotic plants andexperiments in developing new forms of plant life and indoor gardens (and even told meastonishing facts about the humble potato). I had a small indoor garden of my own - andhe was good enough to tell me how to solve some of my problems.As I said, we were at a dinner party. There must have been a dozen other guests, but Iviolated all the canons of courtesy, ignored everyone else, and talked for hours to thebotanist.Midnight came, I said good night to everyone and departed. The botanist then turned toour host and paid me several flattering compliments. I was “most stimulating.” I was thisand I was that, and he ended by saying I was a “most interesting conversationalist.”An interesting conversationalist? Why, I had said hardly anything at all. I couldn’t havesaid anything if I had wanted to without changing the subject, for I didn’t know any moreabout botany than I knew about the anatomy of a penguin. But I had done this: I hadlistened intently. I had listened because I was genuinely interested. And he felt it.Naturally that pleased him. That kind of listening is one of the highest compliments we! '%!
Page 1 and 2:
HOW TOWin FriendsANDInfluence Peopl
Page 3 and 4:
Preface to Revised EditionHow to Wi
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How This Book Was Written-And WhyBy
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spend one and a half years in vario
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“compared to what we ought to be,
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eviewing it every month, keep it on
Page 13 and 14: PART O N EFundamental Techniques in
Page 15 and 16: animal rewarded for good behavior w
Page 17 and 18: criticized but he wrote letters and
Page 19 and 20: Theodore Roosevelt said that when h
Page 21 and 22: “Father Forgets” is one of thos
Page 23 and 24: 2THE BIG SECRET OF DEALING WITH PEO
Page 25 and 26: John D. Rockefeller got his feeling
Page 27 and 28: when Schwab was only thirty-eight y
Page 29 and 30: consideration. He was practical: he
Page 31 and 32: souls enjoy.Try leaving a friendly
Page 33 and 34: Cross? Yes, that is no exception to
Page 35 and 36: spent five thousand dollars adverti
Page 37 and 38: autumn leaves - and you have the ga
Page 39 and 40: Regardless of when your shipments a
Page 41 and 42: Looking at the other person’s poi
Page 43 and 44: What were his wants? First, he want
Page 45 and 46: PART TWOWays to Make People Like Yo
Page 47 and 48: Broadway - Thurston was the acknowl
Page 49 and 50: of the few salespeople that called
Page 51 and 52: nothing could persuade him to talk.
Page 53 and 54: Even though she was scheduled to go
Page 55 and 56: more effectively, and to raise happ
Page 57 and 58: egulate the feeling, which is not.
Page 59 and 60: 3IF YOU DON’T DO THIS, YOU ARE HE
Page 61 and 62: showed a flair for organization, a
Page 63: without effort. I think it is grand
Page 67 and 68: The manager listened attentively to
Page 69 and 70: Years ago, a poor Dutch immigrant b
Page 71 and 72: 5HOW TO INTEREST PEOPLEEveryone who
Page 73 and 74: on you!’“Think of it! I had bee
Page 75 and 76: nature; and William James said: “
Page 77 and 78: the advanced class. How I wish I co
Page 79 and 80: Valentine, nurserymen and landscape
Page 81 and 82: hours passed. And they were still t
Page 83 and 84: PART THREEHow to Win People to Your
Page 85 and 86: “There was a time when a remark l
Page 87 and 88: Be honest, Look for areas where you
Page 89 and 90: As Lord Chesterfield said to his so
Page 91 and 92: abnormal,” “that’s unreasonab
Page 93 and 94: management that my system was the r
Page 95 and 96: By the way, I am not revealing anyt
Page 97 and 98: "No, but he may kill squirrels,”
Page 99 and 100: Gettysburg.Pickett’s charge was u
Page 101 and 102: Remember the old proverb: "By fight
Page 103 and 104: weeks ago, I should have stood here
Page 105 and 106: sympathetic, appreciative approach
Page 107 and 108: you might want to be aware of any s
Page 109 and 110: “This man came in to open an acco
Page 111 and 112: ecome interested in bow hunting and
Page 113 and 114: pays to let the other person do the
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about their accomplishments than ab
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he said. “‘Here are some uncomp
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A man up in the beautiful Canadian
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"Cooperativeness in conversation is
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angle as well as your own - if you
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I wanted to be above fools. So I re
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always have a specially qualified m
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10AN APPEAL THAT EVERYBODY LIKESI w
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was wrong. In each case, the custom
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11THE MOVIES DO IT. TV DOES IT.WHY
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could see me that afternoon and cou
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appealing to people of spirit.Witho
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In a NutshellWIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY
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He did just that. McKinley blue-pen
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During this tour of inspection, Mr.
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studies.This could be easily overco
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3TALK ABOUT YOUR OWN MISTAKES FIRST
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arometer, or wireless telegraphy, o
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4NO ONE LIKES TO TAKE ORDERSI once
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5LET THE OTHER PERSON SAVE FACEYear
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not my lack of ability, was the rea
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nobody would laugh at him. Story af
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fail to use; and one of these power
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“One day, while she was holding m
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8MAKE THE FAULT SEEM EASY TO CORREC
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Each night we timed the exercise wi
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idea as well as his, refused to let
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In a NutshellBE A LEADERA leader’
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for the benefit of their members an
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He worked on Wall Street, and for t
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There were six hundred students in
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over into their private speaking.Da
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