You're Not Alone: The Journey from Abduction to Empowerment

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You may feel that you need some space to deal with what has happened, but that others donot want to let you be alone right now. You may feel torn between what you want and need,and what others think you want and need. You may want to talk, or you may want to bequiet. You may want others to be near you physically, or you may not want anyone to touchyou. Sometimes all you want is to be alone, but at the same time you might be afraid ofbeing alone.You also may feel guilty for what happened, or others may make you feel that way. You mayrealize that your parents and siblings also experienced trauma, that life changed for themas well. As a result, they may have their own issues to work through. They may be overprotectiveor seem distant. It will probably take time to sort through everything and find thebalance between what you need and what they need.It will take time to process what happened to you. It took time for all of us as well. Althoughtime really does make things better, it cannot make what happened go away. All you can do ischoose to make the best of it, and to make an effort to turn the negative experience you wentthrough into something positive.We found specific strategies that helped us along our journeys. Keep in mind that the samestrategies didn’t work for each of us. As you embark on your journey, you will have to findout what works for you and whatdoesn’t. Take your time, and trustyour instincts.“Getting better doesn’t alwayshappen in a straight line. It comesand goes in waves, or cycles, liketaking two steps forward and onestep back. It’s a journey you movethrough on your way to the otherside. The important thing, though,is to keep going. ” — TamaraFor information onadditional resources,please see “Where to FindMore Help” on page 60.6
TALKING TO SOMEONETalking about what happened is animportant part of your healing. Thisis not something that you can handleon your own. You will find that manypeople will want to talk with you, andyou may even feel bombarded by theirinterest in you. As you begin to openup, make sure that you talk about it inyour own time and in your own way.Use this as an opportunity to take controlof this portion of your life again.Sometimes you may want to talk about what happened; other timesit’s the last thing you want to discuss. Remember that, apart fromlaw enforcement’s investigation of your case, you have to share onlywhat you want to share, and only when you are ready.When you are ready, find someone you trust. Some of us confided in our parents—theirunconditional love and support has helped us throughout our journey. Others of us found itdifficult to talk with parents and other family members who were also struggling with how tocope. Some of us who returned from a family abduction also found it difficult to talk with aparent or with other family members who were, in many ways, strangers to us. Many of uswere successful in finding a counselor or therapist who helped us along our journeys.We all learned that the key to finding someone to confide in was to find someone we trusted.This may have been someone who was helpful in our lives before the abduction, or someonenew. We all found it important to find someone who was objective without being judgmental,who let us speak in our own voices and in our own time, and who had our interests atheart. It was important to find someone who could provide us with strength and guidance tohelp us make our own decisions.“Ignoring theproblem doesn’thelp.” — AliciaMost important was finding someone justfor us with whom we felt comfortable.7
Page 1: U.S. Department of JusticeOffice of
Page 4 and 5: U.S. Department of JusticeOffice of
Page 6 and 7: LETTER FROM THE AUTHORSLike you, we
Page 12: Remember, you cannot do this alone.
Page 15 and 16: high school. I played sports, was a
Page 17 and 18: “The day after I was rescued, I h
Page 19 and 20: in pieces when I came home. But thr
Page 21: Remember:>> Seek out the people you
Page 24 and 25: SAM’S STORYMy story is not your a
Page 26 and 27: I eventually realized that was okay
Page 28 and 29: SECTION 3: GETTING IN THE DRIVER’
Page 30 and 31: YOUR RIGHTSRemember that you have r
Page 32 and 33: ELIZABETH’S STORYBelieve it or no
Page 34 and 35: REACHING OUTWhen I needed someone,
Page 36 and 37: SECTION 4: NAVIGATING THE ROADBLOCK
Page 38 and 39: “I only go on media if I believe
Page 40 and 41: POLICE INVESTIGATIONSOne thing that
Page 42 and 43: VICTIM IMPACT STATEMENTAt the sente
Page 44 and 45: MAGGIE’S STORYMy name is Maggie a
Page 46 and 47: come to depend on. And believe it o
Page 48 and 49: FINDING YOUR STRENGTHIt is not easy
Page 50 and 51: SECTION 5: THE NEW NORMALWhat you h
Page 52 and 53: RETURNING TO SCHOOLReturning to sch
Page 54 and 55: CELEBRITY STATUSBe prepared to live
Page 56 and 57: ALICIA’S STORYWelcome home! You a
Page 58 and 59:
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULTIt took me a w
Page 60 and 61:
want to know whom I am talking to a
Page 62 and 63:
A LETTER TOPARENTSDear Parents,As s
Page 64 and 65:
WHERE TO FINDMORE HELPEveryone who
Page 66 and 67:
Through the Office for Victims of C
Page 68:
YOUR STORY64
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You're Not Alone: The Journey from Abduction to Empowerment

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