You're Not Alone: The Journey from Abduction to Empowerment

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IT’S NOT YOUR FAULTIt took me a while to realize that what happened to me was not my fault. This is ahard thing to realize. The reality is that there are people who prey on children—especially on the Internet—and that they know how to lure children away fromthe safety of their homes. They know what to say to children to make them feelspecial. They know how to get children to reveal more about themselves than theyshould. They know how to befriend and “groom” children to make them feel safe.A lot of kids feel like it is their fault and that their parents are going to be mad atthem. But remember that your parents searched for you—they worried aboutyou when you were gone and wanted to bring you home—and they can help youdown the road to recovery.It was difficult when I finally got back home. I had changed and my life hadchanged. I started to rely a lot on humor to help me cope, but it was a very darkhumor. I lost a lot of my shyness. I learned that it is important to talk to someoneyou trust about your feelings, and I am continuing to learn to ask for help ifneeded.Many of us turn to our parents in times of need, but sometimes some of us needto talk with other people who can help us work through our emotions. Seekingprofessional help to deal with all of the emotions and feelings is important, eventhough many of us may be uncomfortable thinking that we need to see someonelike a “shrink.” Don’t turn your back on this option. I didn’t and it helped me.“I even asked the policewhether they could writeme an excuse for missingschool. It seems kind of sillynow, but you can get soconfused about what ishappening around you. ”Another thing that was difficult was figuringout what to do about school. I worried aboutschool the whole time I was gone. Schoolwas all I could think about. As it turned out,my parents made the decision to homeschoolme to protect me and keep me safe.They thought it was best that I finish outeighth grade at home with my mom, andthen start fresh the next year.When I went back to school for the ninthgrade, I thought it would be a chance for a54
fresh start because it was a new school. But instead of getting “Hey, aren’t youthe new girl?” people asked inappropriate questions and made inappropriatecomments. Not only that, but because people felt they knew what had happenedto me and knew about the darkest corners of my life, they thought they couldshare their traumatic experiences with me. At first I felt obligated to listen and totry to help them. But that became a huge responsibility—trying to deal with myproblems while hearing about theirs.FINDING A BALANCEAlthough it was hard emotionally I had to overcome the negative comments andimages that others incorrectly placed on me. I threw myself into dozens of clubsand activities, partly to stay busy so I didn’t have to think about things, and partlybecause I wanted to give people a chance to know me for something positive.I didn’t want to be “that girl” anymore.That was good in a sense, but it alsotook its toll. I would come home atnight exhausted and just think, “Whatam I doing to myself?”REBUILDING TRUSTSo much trust is broken when you’vegone through this kind of situation—trust in other people, trust in yourselfand your ability to make decisions,“If I were to give some advice, Iwould say that the key is to finda healthy balance. It may bedifficult to do this on your own,so make sure you ask others youtrust to help. ”trust in the world. I remember when I was little, I actually thought the world waslike a Disney movie, where people were so happy that they would just burst intosong. My abduction made me realize that there is evil in the world—and sometimesyou can’t hide from it. You have to learn to live in a world where that kindof evil exists, and find a way to do something to make it a better place.First, you have to start rebuilding trust in yourself, then you can begin to trustothers again. My family had trust issues with me, as well. My parents had themost difficult time giving me privacy because they were so concerned about me.My mom slept with the Internet cord underneath her pillow for a year. Thatcouldn’t have been comfortable! Even now, anytime I am on the computer, they55
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U.S. Department of JusticeOffice of
Page 4 and 5:
U.S. Department of JusticeOffice of
Page 6 and 7:
LETTER FROM THE AUTHORSLike you, we
Page 10 and 11: You may feel that you need some spa
Page 12: Remember, you cannot do this alone.
Page 15 and 16: high school. I played sports, was a
Page 17 and 18: “The day after I was rescued, I h
Page 19 and 20: in pieces when I came home. But thr
Page 21: Remember:>> Seek out the people you
Page 24 and 25: SAM’S STORYMy story is not your a
Page 26 and 27: I eventually realized that was okay
Page 28 and 29: SECTION 3: GETTING IN THE DRIVER’
Page 30 and 31: YOUR RIGHTSRemember that you have r
Page 32 and 33: ELIZABETH’S STORYBelieve it or no
Page 34 and 35: REACHING OUTWhen I needed someone,
Page 36 and 37: SECTION 4: NAVIGATING THE ROADBLOCK
Page 38 and 39: “I only go on media if I believe
Page 40 and 41: POLICE INVESTIGATIONSOne thing that
Page 42 and 43: VICTIM IMPACT STATEMENTAt the sente
Page 44 and 45: MAGGIE’S STORYMy name is Maggie a
Page 46 and 47: come to depend on. And believe it o
Page 48 and 49: FINDING YOUR STRENGTHIt is not easy
Page 50 and 51: SECTION 5: THE NEW NORMALWhat you h
Page 52 and 53: RETURNING TO SCHOOLReturning to sch
Page 54 and 55: CELEBRITY STATUSBe prepared to live
Page 56 and 57: ALICIA’S STORYWelcome home! You a
Page 60 and 61: want to know whom I am talking to a
Page 62 and 63: A LETTER TOPARENTSDear Parents,As s
Page 64 and 65: WHERE TO FINDMORE HELPEveryone who
Page 66 and 67: Through the Office for Victims of C
Page 68: YOUR STORY64
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You're Not Alone: The Journey from Abduction to Empowerment

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