You're Not Alone: The Journey from Abduction to Empowerment

“Sometimes you just need to be selfish and dosomething for you. I know there are timeswhen I just need to go out with my girlfriends,go to a football game or somethingand be carefree. I need that. If you’re not takingin what you need, you don’t have anythingto give. You’ll be stuck at a point ofstagnation. Life’s too short to be unhappy. ”friends and family enabledme to turn from the thingsthat were bringing medown and focus on thepositives. Most important,we would laugh together.Laughter and humorbecame one of the best outlets. Aside from a big bowl of vanilla ice cream, notmuch is better than laughter.My counselor was very important to me—he helped me understand that thesechallenges were not permanent and to find positive outlets. He did not give methe answers, but he was there to help me find my own. This helped me trustmyself—which is very important. The kidnapping had made me question myown judgment.It was not as though I would never have learned to trust myself again, but mycounselor helped me accomplish that sooner rather than later. He also helped meregain trust in adult males, for it was an adult male who had harmed me. Moreimportantly, my counselor helped me understand that the man who took meintended to do harm to me, not all adult males. Realizing that not all adult maleswere my enemy helped ease my anxiety, for I sometimes thought that every adultmale I met had ulterior motives.The bottom line was, the man who abducted me took 16 hours away from me andI refused to let him have any more. I arrived at this belief only after my counselorand I worked through and made sense out of what had happened. Those of us whohave had this experience have to navigate a delicate balance when it comes to lookingback at what happened to us. We can choose to do so to help propel ourselvesforward and take back what is rightly ours—the freedom to live—or we can use thememory as a crutch that pulls us down. I still use that thought as a sounding boardto make sure I am on a positive road of healing instead of a road to self-destruction.MAKING CHOICESEven now as I tell you my story I am not finished with my recovery and healing,for it is a journey. It has revealed strengths I never knew I had. Yes, I felt like I was14