You're Not Alone: The Journey from Abduction to Empowerment

SECTION 5: THE NEW NORMALWhat you have experienced will,in some respects, change you forthe rest of your life. Things cannotgo back to exactly the way theywere before your abduction. Youmay feel like you were forced tobecome an adult long before youshould have. You may feel like yourhome life has been altered in somerespect, whether it be a big changeor a minor one. You may feel youhave learned life lessons that not manyothers have learned. You may have adifferent outlook on things—a differentappreciation for small things in life—a new perspective and resolve.None of these feelings are out of the ordinary. They are part offinding the “new normal.”“It took a long time to get to a‘new normal’ with my mother.It was not as if there was a‘normal’ that had just had asmall glitch and then was toresume. I had my ‘normal,’ mymom had hers, and we had tosomehow create a new realitythat was about the present andfuture and not only about thelost shared past. ” — SarahSETTING BOUNDARIESIt’s not easy for anyone to adjust when anabducted young person returns home.Everyone has new thoughts and newfears that were not part of everyday lifebefore. Some families become very overprotectiveof their children. Some familymembers try to gain their own “15 minutesof fame” out of a child’s experience.Some families bond tightly together inthe face of this kind of crisis. Others findthat it threatens to tear them apart.46