‘Just Say Goodbye’ (January 2013 online edition)

‘Just Say Goodbye’the time they killed their children were affected by their perceptions of and theirattitudes towards their partners and families, and their responses to separation.Their emotional states appear to be intertwined with, and fuelled by, genderedattitudes towards women, ideas about masculinity and men’s roles in families,and a sense of their entitlement to have control over women and childrenin families.Family law disputesFathers’ rights groups claim that men are driven to the extreme of killing theirchildren and themselves because the family law system discriminates againstmen and denies them access to their children (Flood 2010). This theme isevident in some of the cases outlined above. Jayson Dalton’s cousin described anumber of men attending the funeral saying ‘this all goes back to the father nothaving equal rights as far as the custody of the children is concerned’. 99In response to the death of Darcey Freeman, a spokesperson for the LoneFathers Association, Barry Williams, said ‘It’s a terrible thing what happenedto that poor child … but the system is to take blame for some of this’ (Anderson2011b). He said ‘men are treated unfairly by the legal system when it comes toFamily Court disputes. Their frustration and despair at not being able to seetheir children usually drives fathers to harm themselves, but some men, likeArthur Freeman, are driven to harm their children’ (Anderson 2011b). Thesesentiments dominated the media, in particular talkback programs, the day afterArthur Freeman was sentenced.Other commentators pointed to the potential of this discourse to providejustification for such violence, thus possibly placing other children at risk offuture harm. Danny Blay, manager of No To Violence and the Men’s ReferralService, in a letter to the Age said:Men don’t kill their children out of a sense of frustration. It is another formof power being used where and how it hurts the most, based on a misguidedsense of entitlement and rights. Telling men that the system is against themand that they are victims of a conspiracy … provides no room for men toreflect on their previous behaviour and importantly, on what they can doto be the best man – and best father – they can be by ensuring the safetyand wellbeing of their partners, their children and themselves (The Age,Letters, 1 April 2011).99 Four Corners 2004.59