‘Just Say Goodbye’ (January 2013 online edition)

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DVRCV Discussion Paper No. 8Providing for children after separationIn all six filicide-suicide cases, the women’s role as mother was central to theirlives. Unlike most of the fathers in the previous chapter, the women in thesecases, with the exception of one, were the primary carers for their children.Research shows that this is a common pattern. A large-scale national study ofparents who had separated undertaken by the Australian Institute of FamilyStudies found that approximately 80 per cent of children spent most nights inthe care of their mothers, with one-third spending all nights with her (Westonet al. 2011).In their study of filicides in Victoria, Alder and Polk (2001) found that inall the filicide-suicide cases involving mothers, ‘the mother’s understandingsand feelings regarding her relationships with her children and the nature ofher responsibilities for them play a significant part in the unfolding of events’(2001:47). They also found that women’s concerns about their children’swellbeing formed part of their own unhappiness (Alder & Polk 2001).In several of the cases studied by Kirkwood (2001), women expressed concernabout how they would provide for their children after separation from theirpartner. This theme is evident in the following case.‘Cathy’Cathy (33 years) was the mother of three children under the age of 12 years. 108 Cathystrangled and killed one of her children. She intended to kill the other two children butone alerted neighbours, who called the police. Cathy proceeded to cut her own wrists, inan attempt to kill herself. When an ambulance arrived she resisted medical treatment,stating that she wanted to die. She survived. Cathy was found not guilty by reason ofinsanity and detained in a psychiatric institution at her Majesty’s pleasure.Cathy’s marriage to the children’s father, ‘Derek’, had ended three years earlier.Cathy told psychiatrists who assessed her after the filicide that Derek had beenviolent towards her during their marriage and that she left because he threatenedto kill her. 109 She also said that Derek had little contact with the children beforetheir deaths and was substantially behind in child support payments.Derek, in a police statement, said that at one stage after separation, whenCathy was having difficulty coping with the three children, he was contacted bygovernment personnel and asked if he would assume custody of the children,the alternative being they would become wards of the state. He declined. In108 The information about ‘Cathy’ is drawn from Coronial records as part of the research undertaken byKirkwood 2000.109 Cathy also told police that Derek had been violent during their relationship and that he had also been violenttowards the children.66
‘Just Say Goodbye’the event, he said the situation resolved itself and the children were not madewards.Cathy formed a relationship with ‘Phillip’, who offered to support her andher children. After a couple of years the relationship deteriorated and Phillipsuggested they separate. Cathy was distressed at the prospect of rebuilding herlife all over again.A week before the incident, Cathy contacted social services and told themshe was not coping and that she planned to kill herself and her children.Psychiatric crisis workers from the Psychiatric Assessment Crisis Team (PACT)attended the house regularly that week. Cathy gave them sedatives and razorblades which she had obtained to kill them all. Cathy and her partner Phillipgave evidence at the Coronial hearing that Cathy had asked the PACT workersto place the children in care because she could not cope with them. However,this did not eventuate. PACT noted that the children were well cared for.In relation to killing her child, Cathy told police that her primary objectivewas to kill herself. She said that ‘life was too hard’ and she ‘could not cope’.However, she was worried about the impact her suicide would have on herchildren. She said ‘my major dilemma in all of this is that I want to die. If I diedmy children would be left on their own. And then they would wonder why theirmum had to die. Would they blame themselves?’ Cathy believed that if she wereto die, the children would have no one to care for them and they would be betterdead. 110 She later told a psychiatrist that she did not think the children shouldbe in their father’s care because he had physically abused her and the children.During the police interview, Cathy said she believed she could not manage tofinancially support her children on her own:I love them very, very dearly and I just could not provide for them. I couldnever ever have given to them and it would have broken my heart to alwayshave to say, I’m sorry, we can’t or I can’t do that. I can’t send you to uni or Ican’t give you a future. There’s nothing the CSA (Child Support Agency) cando to get money out of him and I’ve tried working and I can’t get a job and Ijust don’t believe I have the capacity, and I believe too if they all had’ve diedthey’re dead, they don’t know any different.She also indicated that she believed she had tried all available avenues tosecure financial support from the children’s father:The only way I can see it now is that all the doors were shut. I had exploredmany avenues to try and gain financial support from him [children’s father].110 Taken from a psychiatrist’s report of the PACT teams involvement in Cathy’s management.67
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‘Just Say Goodbye’Parents who k
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CASE STUDY Gary Bell 49CASE STUDY P
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Chapter 1IntroductionIn January 200
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‘Just Say Goodbye’are also kill
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‘Just Say Goodbye’Outline of th
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‘Just Say Goodbye’• 6 per cen
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‘Just Say Goodbye’Separation: A
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Page 27 and 28: ‘Just Say Goodbye’perpetrators
Page 29 and 30: ‘Just Say Goodbye’the relations
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Page 39 and 40: Chapter 4‘Suffer for the rest of
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Page 43 and 44: ‘Just Say Goodbye’domineering,
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Page 49 and 50: ‘Just Say Goodbye’Sonia: The fi
Page 51 and 52: ‘Just Say Goodbye’Gary BellIn J
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Page 65 and 66: ‘Just Say Goodbye’Conclusion: T
Page 67: ‘Just Say Goodbye’that fits the
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Page 77 and 78: ‘Just Say Goodbye’the incident,
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Page 95 and 96: APPENDICESTable A3: Gender and age
Page 97 and 98: Appendix 2Referral informationNatio
Page 99 and 100: REFERENCESBagshaw, D, Brown, T, Wen
Page 101 and 102: REFERENCESFish, E, McKenzie, M and
Page 103 and 104: REFERENCESMeyer, C and Oberman, M (
Page 105: REFERENCESVictorian Child Death Rev
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