‘Just Say Goodbye’ (January 2013 online edition)

‘Just Say Goodbye’‘Samantha’Samantha (24 years) was the mother of ‘Dale’ (five years) and ‘Kirsten’ (two years). Shekilled both the children and herself with carbon monoxide poisoning by connectingthe vacuum cleaner hose to the exhaust and placing it in the window of the car. 111Samantha and her husband, ‘Martin’, had been under stress and financial hardshipas a result of their son’s condition. Dale suffered severe brain damage from a caraccident when he was four months old. Both parents experienced depression. Samanthacomplained of insufficient help from her husband in looking after their son. Theirrelationship began to break down, with frequent arguments including an incident inwhich Martin hit Samantha. 112 Samantha made several suicide attempts. She tolda psychiatrist that she intended to kill herself and her children and was treated in apsychiatric institution. Martin eventually moved out of the house. Three days laterSamantha and her two children were found dead in the back seat of her car.In a suicide letter to her parents Samantha said:I don’t feel I am murdering my children but saving them from sorrow andpain without their father … I’m sorry to take them away from you but it’s theonly way out … all I ever wanted in life was a happy marriage, with happy,healthy children. I can’t have any of this … I have tried very hard in mymarriage and with my children who I love very much. I suppose some peopleand the police will say I murdered the children. But I would never hurt them,they mean the world to me … I felt very sad tonight because Martin didn’tring. So upset that he didn’t ring about the kids or me. It pushed me over theedge. I cannot leave my children behind, who would take care of them andlove them like I do? No body could. Where would Dale go, into a home?No way. Would Kirsten hate me? At least with God there will be peace andhappiness and no pain. So I will take them where they will be happy and Iwill be there to care for them.Samantha, like Cathy above, reportedly sought to provide well for herchildren. She had high expectations of herself as a mother and was perceivedby others to be a ‘good’ mother. She experienced pressure and difficulties inproviding for her children, one of whom had a severe brain injury. Like Cathy,Samantha appears to have believed that she could not cope as a mother in hercircumstances and became depressed and suicidal.Samantha’s husband, in his police statement, said ‘I think she did what shedid because she felt rejected and she took the kids with her because she lovedthem so much and wanted them with her all the time. I know she loved me111 The information about ‘Samantha’ is drawn from Coronial records as part of the research undertaken byKirkwood 2000.112 This incident was mentioned in Martin’s statement to police.69