‘Just Say Goodbye’ (January 2013 online edition)

‘Just Say Goodbye’In contrast to fathers who killed their children in the context of separation,mothers were usually the primary carer for the children they killed. Mothers appearto be focused on the difficulties they experienced providing for their children ontheir own after separation. In the cases examined, the women’s primary motiveappeared to be suicide. The women were not able to conceive of leaving theirchildren without their mother and consequently killed them, as well as themselves.Improving system responsesRecognising risks to childrenFor the past two years various authorities have been made aware of ourfears for the safety of the children and unfortunately no one would listen.We feel the judicial system has failed our family and will continue to fail otherfamilies until someone in authority starts to take action (Darcey Freeman’suncle, statement to police). 134In most of the cases outlined here, the parents who killed their children hadprior contact with police, courts, mental health services, social services (suchas men’s behaviour change programs) and general practitioners in relation tofamily violence, separation, disputes relating to children or mental health issues.These contacts are opportunities for intervention and prevention. There is aneed to improve responses to ensure service providers can adequately recognisewarning signs and know, in particular, that risks to the safety of a parent can belinked to risks to the safety of their children.The research indicates that there may be some specific warning signs for therisks of retaliatory filicide. They include a history of intimate partner violence,controlling behaviour towards family members, extreme anger towards theother parent in relation to the separation and any threats or indication of anintention to harm the children in order to punish an ex-partner.The cases in this paper show that violence and/or threats towards the mothermay be a warning sign of the child’s risk of being intentionally killed by theirfather, even where there has been no previous violence against the children.This should be considered as an important aspect of risk assessment in relationto family violence (discussed further below). Other possible warning signs arethreats to suicide or attempts to suicide.The research on filicide undertaken by the Women’s Aid Federation in theUK (outlined in Chapter 4) highlights the failure of agencies in contact with134 Mornings with Jon Faine (2009), ABC local radio Melbourne 5 February.81