‘Just Say Goodbye’ (January 2013 online edition)

DVRCV Discussion Paper No. 8to control over their families and this may be used to justify their anger andrevenge towards female partners for instigating separation.Gender differences, domestic violence and retaliatory filicideExisting research and the cases outlined here show that both fathers andmothers kill their children in the context of separation from their intimate partner.This paper has highlighted some important gender differences in circumstancesand motives.Separation filicides by fathers are more likely to involve one or more of thefollowing contributing elements:• violence and controlling behaviour towards their partner before, and after,separation• anger towards their ex-partner and desire for revenge in relation to the separation• an intention to harm the ex-partner by killing the children.In some of the filicides discussed here, fathers had previously used physicalviolence to maintain control during the relationship. In other cases, other formsof controlling and threatening behaviour were evident. In some instances,there was no indication of prior violence or controlling behaviour. However,in such cases outlined here, the children were killed by fathers as a means ofharming ex-partners after separation. In the filicide literature these cases aredescribed as ‘retaliatory’ or ‘spouse revenge’ filicides. While the children are thedirect victims, this type of filicide can also be seen as a form of violence againstwomen, as the perpetrators’ primary goal is to punish the mother for leavingthe relationship. Recent research, outlined in this paper, has found perpetratorsof intimate partner violence often use children to hurt their female partners. Insome of the cases discussed here, perpetrators saw killing their children as theoptimum way of punishing their ex-partners.The gendered patterns of retaliatory filicides are similar to those found inintimate partner homicide: they are predominantly perpetrated by men seekingto hurt their intimate partners. Both these types of killings occur when thefemale partner attempts to leave the relationship.There was no indication in the cases outlined in this paper that the womenwho perpetrated filicide in the context of separation had previously beenviolent towards their ex-partner. There was also little indication that the primarymotive of the mothers who killed their children was to harm their partner.We acknowledge that women can be perpetrators of violence against intimatepartners, can experience anger towards partners and may kill children to retaliateagainst a partner. The research and the cases outlined in this paper, however,show these forms of violence are predominantly perpetrated by men.80