The Scars of the Erasure_web

Erasure_4a 10.1.11 20:29 Page 166166 THE SCARS OF THE ERASUREIn contrast to Tatjana, many others reported that the fear of police identificationchecks, and consequently of deportation, made them alienated; theyisolated themselves from their environment, drastically reducing contact with itand turning their homes into “fortresses” to defend themselves against the potentially“malicious” influences from the outside world.But my dad, I don’t know how he realized it, in fact he was hiding because thepolice often came to his door, so for three years he de facto lived without goingout of his apartment, like that. Much like the Japanese during the Second WorldWar. So he stacked up food, canned food, he had stale bread, unbelievable.(Begeš, 89)In the past I didn’t walk around the town. I only stayed at home. When the policecame, I was afraid … The police used to come twice or three times a day.(Mirka, 54)After I was erased, I stopped mixing with people, I was hiding and the like. In away I avoided people, I didn’t socialize much with anyone, and I also didn’t speakabout this problem. (Ismeta, 49)I was shaking. When I walked the streets, when I saw a policeman, I felt sick. Iwas afraid because I heard all sorts of stories [...] I was shaking all the time. Whenmy friend said that he noticed that I crossed the street differently, that I stood andwaited and strictly stuck to the rules, I told him that I was afraid. (Mara, 57)While the erasure rendered these people “legally dead,” their withdrawaland apathy frequently made them socially dead. As we have already shown elsewhere(Lipovec Čebron 2007a, 65–67), they withdrew into isolation primarilyduring the years immediately following the erasure (in 1992), when many internalizedthe feeling of guilt and were convinced that the responsibility for whathad happened lay solely with them. Therefore, similar to Ismeta who “in a wayavoided people, didn’t socialize much with anyone, and also didn’t speak aboutthis problem,” others too avoided conversations about their loss of legal status.The interviews clearly show that they usually succeeded in overcoming this stateof mind only when they obtained permanent residence permits or Slovenian citi -zenship, or when after 2002 the erased people began to self-organize and madetheir problem public knowledge with the help of the media.1.2 The erased people, homeless people and migrant workers –similar health risk factorsWhen examining the health problems of erased people, an “exclusivist”reading of their illnesses would be short-sighted. The health risks and obstaclespreventing their access to official medical institutions have much in commonwith those encountered by other population groups that are vulnerable, margi -nalized, deprivileged in terms of access to health services and/or excluded from