The Scars of the Erasure_web

Erasure_4a 10.1.11 20:29 Page 255IT WAS THE BOSNIANS WHO WERE ERASED, BUT DAMAGE WAS SUFFERED BY SLOVENIAN CHILDREN AS WELL255when it was the hardest on me, this neighbor invited me for lunch several times. Weare still friends. She knew that my daughter was sick and she’d call me: “I made soupfor your baby. Bring her!” So I took her and she gave me soup for my daughter. Thatwas really a kind gesture and welcome help. Others, on the other hand, avoided me,precisely because they knew that I was in trouble.In 2000, I applied for permanent residence in accordance with that law after theysaid on television that people without documents and permanent residence who hadbeen living here at least from the plebiscite on should go to the Office for Foreigners. Iresponded to that invitation. I went to the office with my child, I told them who I was,where I lived. I filled out what they gave me, submitted it and got the receipt that I hadsubmitted it. I waited for a year or more. When I finally got a permanent residence permit,I could apply for a Bosnian passport at the Bosnian embassy. They put my permanentresidence permit into this passport. I got the ID card for foreigners in 2002 fromthe Office for Foreigners. I still have it at home. I was so glad, as if I had been bornagain, so happy and relieved I was.While I was without documents I thought that one day it had to come to light. Iwas convinced that it was a mistake. But I didn’t know that so many people had beenerased; well, I didn’t even know that I was erased. I thought there were some complicationswhich involved me and perhaps some tens of others. My workmates talked aboutpeople who didn’t have citizenship and had serious problems because of it. These weremainly people in mixed marriages: a Bosnian and a Slovene. However, in 1991 I didn’tapply for citizenship so I thought it was better for me not to talk about my situation.Another reason why I didn’t want to talk about it was that I didn’t know what actuallyhappened to me.One day I heard on TV about the Association of the Erased Residents and someguy called Aleksandar Todorović. I saw him speaking on television and there was a telephonenumber. I quickly jotted it down. I was mulling over what to say, how to introducemyself and register with that association. I had no idea that there were so many erasedpeople. Oh dear, when we started to talk, and Aca is such a candid person. I felt like Ihad wings. As if the stone fell from my heart. Pains literally began to peel off my body,I could feel life, health, the future, I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Here, itcame to light. Now it’s common knowledge what actually happened and who was responsible.And it was not only me that was erased; it was not I who messed things up.I thanked God, I don’t know how many times.