View full issue in PDF - The Mindfulness Bell

healing & FORGIVENESS“Anger, my little one,what are you trying tosay? How can I helpyou to be free?”© Melking | Dreamstime.com“Anger, my little one, what are you trying to say? How canI help you suffer less, to ease your pain? How can I help you tobe free?”Anger became a sort of meditation; I allowed anger to be there,without the expectation of getting rid of it. Every time I would tryto get rid of anger, I fed it more. If it died down for a moment, inanother moment or at a different time it would come back evenstronger. Whether I was sitting or walking I made sure to keep myanger close to me. With my anger close to me I was better able totake care of it, to manage it and to make sure it wasn’t doing meor others harm. I learned to walk with my anger for hours, veryslowly. I gave myself the permission to spend time unraveling,and getting to know this thing called anger and other challengingemotions or habits of mind. Anything I felt was a threat to mywell-being I walked with, sat with, and I encouraged myself tolisten and to take care of it with mindfulness, with loving-kindnessand compassion.Sometimes I even walked with my former stepfather in myheart. I felt how it must have been to have caused so much pain inanother, and to inherit that pain in his body and mind. “How mighthe be experiencing the feeling of anger in him?” I wondered. Iwalked with my former stepfather like walking with a friend,slowly allowing his world to unravel before me, in our footstepsof freedom. We walked in freedom together. He and I were nottrapped in the delusion of self and other or in the identity of abuserand abused. We walked together through my actions of mindfulness,concentration, and love. Yes, love.For many in my family and perhaps in society too, my formerstepfather may be a challenging person to love. But he is composedof everything we are all composed of. He has air in him, fire inhim; he has beauty and light and love; he has the seed of anger, ofhurt and betrayal; he has kindness and compassion, forgiveness andjoy; he has all the capacity one needs to live in freedom. For me,my former stepfather was easy to love, because I knew how muchhe needed love. To have caused another person to suffer causes somuch suffering in him. And he may be unaware, unable to forgiveall the people who may have “unintentionally” hurt him.So much of our world depends upon the way in which we viewit. If we change our views, the miracle of life tells us that everyonecan love, and everyone has love somewhere inside of them. With lovethe whole world will experience freedom in togetherness and peace.Brian Kimmel, True LotusConcentration, lived for fiveyears in Las Vegas where hehelped found the TuesdayNight Mindfulness Group.He will be a full-time studentthis fall at Naropa Universityin Colorado.30 Autumn 2009