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FORGIVENESSHealing theBy Ann MooreIIn a New Year’s Eve Dharma sharing session at Blue Cliff Monastery,Sister Anh Nghiem invited us to write on the phrases: “Ithad been,” “But then,” and “I realize.”In response to her invitation I offer the following story inthree chapters:Chapter 1: It Had BeenIt was the last straw when Caroline walked into my writers’group. My dislike for Caroline was a long-standing, pureprejudice, our acquaintance limited to her occasional inquiryabout my mother. As she was closer to my mother’s age thanmine, I judged her insincere; if she really cared, she would askmy mother. Also I identified her as one of the elite with whom Ifeel uncomfortable.My mother died in October of 2006. Returning from Mexicothe following April, Caroline said consolingly: “You must missyour mother dreadfully,” leaving me speechless, as I did not.Caroline had returned interested in prison ministry, and had beengiven my name to contact. Soon we were carpooling to my twoprison ministries.One day she told me she would be away the third weekend inOctober. “So will I,” I said. “Where will you be?” We were bothgoing to the same retreat. We began driving together to my twoSanghas. When she headed back to Mexico, I breathed a hugesigh of relief.And now she was in my newfound writers’ group. Tuesdaywas my early morning Sangha; Monday night I slept under a blackcloud. I woke upset by my lack of either Buddhist or Christiancompassion, hopeful that Sangha wisdom would help.Chapter 2: But ThenPast in thePresentI remembered reading about my dilemma, but where? MiraculouslyI found the passage in The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching:“When one person comes up to us, the sight of him makes usuncomfortable. But when someone else walks by we like her rightaway. Something in each of them touches a seed in us. If we loveour mother deeply, but feel tense every time we think of our father,it is natural that when we see a lady who looks like our mother,we will appreciate her, and when we see a man who evokes thememory of our father, we will feel uncomfortable.”I had known that irrational aversion was triggered by unresolvedchildhood conflict, but I had been the apple of my mother’seye and felt only love for my father. I considered my mother forcomparison:1) My earliest associations with Caroline were inquiriesabout Mom.2) I had assumed a friendship of sorts between them.3) There was the awkward allusion to my loss, which I nowrecognize as the sort of dead-end assumption for which Momwas notorious.4) Caroline was invading my space; I had adolescent boundaryissues with Mom.5) Caroline was making demands on my time; I had beenMom’s sole caregiver.The match was unmistakable. Within minutes the black clouddispersed and Caroline became simply Caroline, a person of mutualinterests, no longer a threat to my identity.Chapter 3: I RealizeI realize now, yes, I was tense whenever I thought of Mom.Her love was so vast, so suffocating, that I could not return it inkind. For that I had always felt guilt, while remaining mentallyloyal, denying negative feelings as best I could. I now saw clearlythat I had projected those feelings onto Caroline.My mother had idolized her mother, who had been instrumentalin driving away my father, whom Mom also idolized. I nowsaw that Mom had been so judgmental because she had projectedunacknowledged, unacceptable family flaws onto others, a traitwhich I was continuing. With that realization I felt only compassionfor the mother I had long found difficult. And I now understoodwhat it meant to heal the past in the present.Ann G. Moore, Skillful Acceptance of the Heart, lives inStonington, Connecticut and practices with Clear HeartSangha in Matunuck, Rhode Island, as well as the New LondonCommunity of Mindfulness in New London, Connecticut.34 Autumn 2009
mindful EATINGLoving OurPlanetSpirituality and Global WarmingBy Brother True Dharma Sound, Phap ThanhA Reflection and a Mindfulness Training: “Aware of ourresponsibility and love for ourselves and for our environment, wewant to practice living in harmony with humans, animals, plants,and minerals. Aware of our interrelatedness with all beings, weOknow that harming others is harming ourselves.”Our planet is under stress and our civilization is in trouble, accordingto L. Brown, president of the Earth Policy Institute anda highly honored scientist. 1 The majority of scientists agrees thatour planetary climate is heating up and that there is an urgency toprevent further damage. Increasing temperatures, melting glaciers,rising sea levels, expanding deserts, shrinking forests, disappearingplants and animals, eroding soils, and falling water tables arejust a few signs. These imbalances have the potential to lead to animmense amount of suffering through droughts, drinking watershortages, famines, increased occurrences of storms, floods andother climate-related disasters.Our environmental support system is rapidly changing and itseems that our civilization is moving toward self-destruction. Weseem to be confronted with the challenge of accepting the deathof our civilization. This includes accepting our own death. On thespiritual level, we are challenged to practice with confronting ourdeath, to arrive at a point of “no death, no fear.”Global warming is not only a biological crisis; it is also anemotional crisis, a psychological crisis, and a spiritual crisis. It isa crisis of me as a person, of us as a society, of us as the humanspecies, of all beings inhabiting planet Earth (including humans,animals, plants, minerals). But this crisis is an opportunity forfundamental changes in our own lives, in our situation as humans,and in the way we relate to the planet. It is an opportunity topractice interbeing.As spiritual practitioners we can practice awareness of therising and falling of all civilizations and acceptance of the comingdeath of our civilization. We can practice with non-fear when facingglobal warming. Looking at the scientific proof of the need forurgent action, we can practice non-despair to keep our freshnessfor the needed action. It is time to face and digest what is goingon around us and act accordingly.What We EatI would like to take a closer look at the topic of eating avegetarian diet and the impact on our environment and globalwarming. Consuming less meat and dairy is an action many peopleall over the globe can commit to, without having to invest largeamounts of money, and it has a relatively significant impact onglobal warming. Cattle-rearing generates more global warminggreenhouse gases, as measured in CO2 equivalent, than transpor-© Vlue | Dreamstime.comthe Mindfulness Bell 35
Page 3: ISSUE NO. 52 - Autumn 2009Healing &
Page 8 and 9: dharma TALKphotos by Laura Constant
Page 10 and 11: dharma TALKguided largely by natura
Page 12 and 13: path of the BUDDHAThe Path of the B
Page 14 and 15: path of the BUDDHAAfriend recently
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Page 22 and 23: sangha BEHIND BARSOne man wrote inh
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Page 26 and 27: sangha BEHIND BARSEscondido CA 9202
Page 28 and 29: healing & FORGIVENESSFierceCompassi
Page 30 and 31: healing & FORGIVENESSIf the persona
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Page 40 and 41: mindful EATINGEnding the Warwith We
Page 42 and 43: EATINGMy questionbecame: “Do Ihav
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Page 49 and 50: media REVIEWSThe narration in this
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