View full issue in PDF - The Mindfulness Bell

mindful EATINGEnding the Warwith Weight:Mindfully Transforming Body ImageBy Peter KuhnOOne morning, feeling serene and well-grounded after meditating,I took a mindful shower. Awash with gratitude I stepped out with asmile and looked in the mirror. All I saw was my big belly and lovehandles. Contented joy vaporized into distress. I berated myself,obliterating peace and the morning’s merit. Breathing in, I realizedthe thoughts and feelings I was consuming were toxic. Breathingout, I released and attended to them. My suffering had somethingto tell me. How do I cultivate peace and compassion for all sentientbeings when I find parts of myself unacceptable?The body scan from the Satipatthana Sutra* has been afantastic tool:“Further, the practitioner meditates on his own body from thesoles of his feet upwards and then from the hair on top of his headdownwards, a body contained inside the skin and full of all theimpurities which belong to the body: Here is the hair on the head,the hair on the body, the nails, teeth, skin, flesh, sinews, bones,bone marrow, kidneys, heart, liver, diaphragm, spleen, lungs, intestines,bowels, excrement, bile, phlegm, pus, blood, sweat, fat,tears, grease, saliva, mucus, synovic fluid, urine.”The mindful penetration of each body part cultivates understandingand gratitude. I appreciate their miraculous design, theirunique and interdependent natures. Each part serves and supportsall others; each part serving and supporting my life and transformation.In time I penetrated my fat with the same equanimity asmy heart or lungs. When judgment and aversion were overcomean old knot was untied.With right concentration, I see that fat is storing energy forfuture use and is an evolutionary survival tool. My eye of understandingcan now see fat as battery packs instead of a cloak ofshame or nemesis. My heart softens and I suddenly appreciate myfat as a precious gift and see that it is here to serve and supportme, too. “Oh, my poor misunderstood fat, I am here for you.” Ithink of loved ones and others who are unable to gain weight dueto illness, of the millions who are starving, malnourished, or lackingenough to eat. For the first time, I am able to thank my fat andexpress real gratitude that it is here for me. I appreciate that it isworking well and caring for me by storing energy for future usein times of famine, drought, or hardship. With an open heart, I letmy fat know that I’m grateful it’s here for me but I do not needthis amount of energy stored presently. With deep sincerity and asmile I let my fat know that I am working for its liberation as wellas my own. Looking deeper, I see that liberating stored energy frommy body makes it available elsewhere, in another form, where aneed may exist. Nothing is wasted in nature.Energy transforms,Neither produced nor destroyed.Weight is not the enemy,I bow deeply to my fat.When I embrace my pain, distorted perceptions are revealed.I gain understanding and insight; in this case, a new perspectiveon the way I view my body and weight. Looking deeply I touchthe reality of impermanence, non-self, and interbeing. Acceptingmy fat, new peace and happiness are born.Mindfulness practice led me to exercise. There were timeswhen I wanted to quit a workout early. I learned to exercise forthose who cannot do it themselves instead of just ‘toughing it out’for myself. I think of my hospice patients at the VA Hospital, thewounded, ill, lame, and incarcerated. I can work for them and myancestors, for my dead son, David, and the uncountable masseswho would give anything for the good health and freedom I enjoy.Interbeing supports and sustains me on all levels.Thinking of others helps me practice mindful consumptionas well. I can transform hunger pangs from a self-centered panicbutton to a mindfulness bell. My hunger becomes “the hunger,”shared by millions, most of whom lack the choice of when andwhat to eat. Small self becomes the large self.I vow to liberate stored energyTo benefit all beings.Eating mindfully for nutrition,Transcending indulgence.38 Autumn 2009