Page 1.indd - Wingspan

April 2, 2012wingspan.lccc.wy.eduopinionWingspan 9co-editoreditor’scommentaryWe allhaveskeletonsin ourclosets.Shawn Havel Secrets wewouldn’t wantanyone to know under most circumstances.Secrets we wouldn’t want toown up to unless we were threatenedwith our lives.Today is not the day those secrets willbe revealed. Instead, I offer a slightlyembarrassing tidbit about my obsessionwith moronic radio programs.It all started when I was living inLaramie, a town that is nice to visit afriend in, but not so great to live in.I worked at a hotel overnight, andbecause Laramie was such an unbearableplace for me to live most of theco-editorWill Heberteditor’scommentarytime, after I got off at 7 a.m. I woulddart to my car and start heading up thetreacherous roads of I-80 in southeastWyoming.Normally, I would listen to NationalPublic Radio’s morning shows or 96.7,which plays the pop-music hits of twomonths ago that are finally making theirway to the Equality State. But, coincidentally,just about the time I was tiringwith 96.7, I was arriving at the top of thesummit where reception for a Denverstation 96.1 (also pop-music) starts. Iheard voices…static…and voices again.They seemed to be talking to me aboutJustin Beiber and yoga and cheating lovers.And I was intrigued.As the signal increased in clarity, Ifound myself willing to subject myself tohear more of the nonsense and shenanigans.I discovered this idiocy I washearing was dubbed the JohnJay andRich show.In a nutshell, the show is pretty muchthe buffoon protagonist, JohnJay, andhis sidekicks, Rich, who seems to be thebrains of the bunch, which says little,and Kyle, a female who mocks JohnJay’sblatant sexism and idiocy.Together, they create a cacophony ofdumb. They interview celebrities, discusshealth fads and, most importantly,sabotage relationships on a weekly basisin one of their segments.Yet, I cannot stop listening. I’m hopelesslyenamored by quite possibly thestupidest program ever allowed on theradio.Another program on the same radiostation that comes on Sunday nights iscalled the “Hope Line.” They’d like youto believe they inspire hope into theyoung people of the world, but reallyit evokes so much rage that I typicallywant to pound my head into oblivionwith clenched fists.I agree with the premise of the show.Giving advice to young people is typicallywhat older people like to do. Andyoung people like to receive advice sothey can grow and not be tormentedby their first relationship for the rest oftheir lives. However, the flaw is I am atleast 64 percent certain the host has notraining in psychology or counseling. It’slike me giving someone math or scienceadvice. Yeah, I’m pretty interested inthose things, and I watch “Symphony ofScience” on YouTube fairly regularly, butdo I have any grasp for the concept ofwormholes? The answer is a resounding,emphatic and painful no.So I really just listen to this programmost Sundays knowing I will be horriblyoffended by the advice this guy is givingto people. And what makes it worse ishis blatant disregard and intolerance ofnon-Christian beliefs. I don’t have anyproblems with Christian ideals, but toforce them into the resolution of everysingle conceivable dilemma that anyoneever could possibly have is insulting.Regardless, I like to listen, and I reallyshouldn’t. In truth, I probably shouldn’thave written this column at all. I shouldhave just listened to NPR because atleast when I listen to “Car Talk,” I don’thate myself immediately afterward.Friend’s marriage proposal brings surprise, acceptanceAfew monthsago, Iheard oneof my friendshad proposedto his girlfriend,and she agreedto marry him. I was fairly upset by thisnews because he had not mentioned tome he was planning to do this.An actor, my friend proposed duringthe opening night of his most recentshow. In the weeks leading up to theshow, he had told me I should buytickets for opening night because itwould be the best show. However, theplay opened during the middle of theweek, which is when I am most busy.Unfortunately, he did not mention hewould make one of the biggest commitmentsof his life.When we were straight out of highschool, my friend called me one morningto tell me I had to drive to Laramiethat afternoon. I told him I didn’t thinkI could, to which he responded: “Dude,you have to. I’m making chili dogs.”To think our friendship had changedso much during the last few years painedme. How could chili dogs be so importantto cause a you-have-to-be-here momentwhen we were 18 years old but a marriageproposal not cause such urgency nowthat we’re in our 20s?I may be busy during the week, buthad I known the true importance of thatopening show, I would have cleared myschedule.Perhaps the most saddening part ofthe engagement was I didn’t hear about itfrom my friend but from my connectionsto the University of Wyoming newspaper,The Branding Iron. Feeling bitterand upset, I crawled into bed that nightthinking to myself, “He didn’t even call totell me.”Just as that thought passed throughmy head, my phone began to ring. It wasmy friend. I shared with him the standardsentiments of congratulations but stillfelt unsettled by the turn of events. Butdespite the call, these feelings of uneasinesscontinued to pester me throughoutthe week and into the following weeks.How could he simply not tell me aboutsomething so important? I mean, it’s onething to forget to tell your friend sincesecond-grade that you’re going to be anuncle or to forget to tell him nine monthslater that you have become an uncle, but“I felt as if my bestfriend were being takenfrom me.”forgetting to tell him you’re going to be ahusband seemed just plain neglectful.I was pretty upset about not beinginformed, but even as these feelingspassed, my negativity remained. Aftera few days of sitting in my dark roomlistening to the same eight Joy Divisionsongs over and over, I began to realizewhy I was so upset.It sucked my friend didn’t tell mehe would propose, but the fact that hisgirlfriend said “yes,” and he was to bemarried soon marked a change in notonly his life but also mine. I realized howselfish this thought process was, but sucha large change in my friend’s life will affectmy life because the availability of oneof my closest friends will undoubtedlydecrease.He wasn’t the first of my friends todepart to the world of adult relationships;a number of my friends from high schooland earlier stages of life have becomefathers and husbands. But this changecarried a much higher level of gravitybecause of our closeness.Not to sound like Timon and Pumbafrom “The Lion King,” but his engagementseemed to spell the end of the currentstate of our friendship and to ensurethe gallivanting of our younger dayswould be no more.No more battling giant adversaries inthe mosh pits of punk shows.No more staying up until 6 a.m. levelingup characters in Final Fantasy games.No more watching Godzilla films intothe wee hours of the night and creatingdrinking games from them.And, especially, no more drivingbetween Cheyenne and Laramie at amoment’s notice because one person ismaking chili dogs.I felt as if my best friend were beingtaken from me.I know my relationship with my friendwill change because of this, but I realizesuch changes are a part of life. To remainupset about the situation would take alevel of immaturity so high even I cannotendure it.As we both develop deeper romanticrelationships, it is natural we will begin toshare more with our girlfriends and lesswith each other. However, the influencewe’ve had upon each other while growingup will remain for years to come, and wewill always share the bond of camaraderiebecause of those experiences.