THE WILL TO LOVE - Vital Christianity

22PHILIAThe third word for love is philia, which means the love of “friendship.” This is afriendship word speaking of filial love—natural human love, the love of a person for anotherperson. This word means “friendly affection” and is the word from which we get our Englishword, “philanthropy.”Philia is considered a higher form of love since it is not necessary.C. S. Lewis perceptively analyzed this word as he stated:“Philia . . . is the least natural of loves; the least instinctive, organic, biological,gregarious and necessary . . .Without Eros none of us would have been begotten and without Attention(storge) none of us would have been reared; but we can live and breedwithout Friendship (philia). The species, biologically considered, has no needof it . . .Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art, like the universe itself (forGod did not need to create). It has no survival value; rather it is one of thosethings which give value to survival.Friendship, however, “is built on common insight or interest or taste, somethingthat the friends have in common but that other people do no share.” 3Friendship can be both a very positive thing in that it can bring out the best in each of thefriends and a very negative influence in that it can bring out the worst in each of the friends.C. S. Lewis notes: “Friendship (as the ancients saw) can be a school of virtue; but also (as theydid not see) a school of vice. It is ambivalent. It makes good men better and bad men worse.” 4Leon Morris explains how this happens:“Just as a group strengthens the friends good points, so it serves as a justificationfor their weaknesses. The friends refuse to be controlled by outside opinion,because this is part of what friendship means. This means that when outsidersare wrong, friends strengthen one another in the right. But it also means thatwhen those outside are right, the friends may well encourage one another tocontinue in a wrong way. Their very friendship hinders them from seeing whatis right in the contentions of outsiders. Further, their bond may lead to pride,which despises those not admitted to the intimacy of the circle.”