THE WILL TO LOVE - Vital Christianity

52How different from the words of Jesus who said,Blessed are the poor in spirit (the humble), fortheirs is the kingdom of heaven.Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth” (Mt 5:3-5).How different God’s standards are from that of the world! Unlike the world which puts apremium on the exterior, God emphasizes the interior.A person simply cannot be happy with life in general so long as he is unhappy withhimself. Self-rejection is a major cause of unhappiness in our day. Because of our dissatisfactiontoward ourselves—the way we look and the way we act—we easily build pent-up resentment andbitterness which cause serious inner conflicts and deeply affect our personality.As a child I shied away from wearing swimming trunks or shorts because of an uglybirth mark. I became self-conscious of this and tried to with draw. Fortunately, I learned early toaccept birth mark and all.If you are typical of the average person, something about your physical appearance orpersonality does not please you. When you look into the mirror, what do you see? A big nose?Ears that seem out of proportion? Freckles that you don’t like? Bald head?Or what do you think of your personality? Too bubbly? Too shy? Too emotional? Notemotional enough? Do you ever say, “I wish I were more like him . . . or herWhat kind of self-image do you have? Is it positive or negative?But why is this so important, you might ask.Because our capacity to love is directly and inseparably related to our self-image.Psychologists are all agreed that babies are born not knowing how to love but with acapacity to receive, to experience love. In other words they learn to love by seeing and feelinghow their parents love them.The importance of love and care is shown by the study some time ago in an orphanage.A group of social scientists experimented with two groups of babies. Both groups received allthe routine care provided by nurses and matrons. They were fed on schedule, their diapers werechanged regularly and they were given proper medical attention. However, one group morepersonal loving care than the other. While the babies in one group were held and cuddled as theywere fed, changed and put to sleep; the babies in the other group were not shown the love--werenot held and cuddled.