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Golden Times September 2016

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Friendship - by Julia Meanwell<br />

Remember that the most valuable antiques are dear old<br />

friends. H Jackson brown Jnr.<br />

Good friends may help your life last longer<br />

according to an Australian study. Conducted by the<br />

Centre for Ageing Studies at Flinders University,<br />

the study followed nearly 1,500 older people for<br />

10 years. It found that those who had a large<br />

network of friends outlived those with the fewest<br />

friends by 22%. The companionship provided<br />

by friends may ward off depression, boost selfesteem,<br />

and provide support. Interestingly they<br />

found that close relationships with children and<br />

relatives had almost no effect on longevity.<br />

The word ‘friend’ as defined in the dictionary is<br />

‘a person with whom one has a bond of mutual<br />

affection, somebody who trusts and is fond<br />

of another, an ally or somebody who is not an<br />

enemy’. Unless you are reclusive you are likely<br />

to make many friends throughout your life but<br />

would you easily recognise a ‘frenemy’ that does<br />

more harm than good especially if you have been<br />

friends for countless years<br />

Do you find yourself involved in your friend’s<br />

constant dramas with them urging you to help<br />

them fix their problems a lot of the time? Toxic<br />

friendships are not good for our mental health and<br />

wellbeing; they can also be emotionally draining.<br />

How would you describe your friends? Are they<br />

supportive and caring; is it a good quality<br />

Local counsellor Julia Meanwell,<br />

has been in practice for over<br />

20 years, she has a wealth<br />

of experience, empathy and<br />

understanding to offer clients.<br />

Julia began her counselling<br />

career as a relationship<br />

counsellor with Relate which<br />

incorporated working in<br />

television and radio.<br />

relationship with a balance of give and take?<br />

Can you trust and rely upon their support<br />

during times of trouble? Or, conversely, are they<br />

manipulative, unreliable and demanding? If it’s<br />

the latter and the relationship is unlikely to get<br />

better then ending the friendship is really the only<br />

option. Consider it an act of self-preservation by<br />

protecting yourself from the harmful impact of<br />

their negative behaviour.<br />

Maintaining and developing friendships takes<br />

quite a bit of effort but quality can be so much<br />

more valuable than quantity. Surround yourself<br />

with genuinely supportive friends that enhance<br />

your life and well-being and the long-term<br />

investment will pay dividends!<br />

If you would like to find out more about the<br />

counselling Julia offers then please take a look at<br />

her website juliameanwellcounselling.co.uk She<br />

can be contacted by email Julia.meanwell@gmail.<br />

com or give her a call on 07714 280083.<br />

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