take clothes for instance BOOK

INTRODUCTION
My initial response in having to collaborate on a project was
dread and my reflex was to turn around, and walk away. But as I’d
committed to the programme this was out of the question.
However I then felt trapped as I’d have to see it out to the end,
and this exacerbated my anxiety which manifested itself in a
physical churning sensation in my stomach and tightness in my
chest.
The project meant I would be relinquishing a lot of control in
allowing many of my collaborations to guide and direct my
decision making. These could be people, things, spaces; in effect
any resource which I either sought out or which came to me
through my study, or indeed by sheer accident. The idea of these
things having agency to influence the direction of my journey was
on the one hand an exciting prospect with many potential “What
if” moments that would take its development to unexpected new
places, but on the other hand the thought that these things
might dictate an outcome which could very well end in disaster
rested uncomfortably with me.
Another aspect which unsettled me was that as a returning
student and after many years of working outside of an academic
institution I had re-entered a realm which I felt unsure of and
therefore ill at ease with fellow artists who I felt probably had a
better knowledge of contemporary practice, with clearer
expectations of the learning landscape than I had.
I could very well have been imagining this though as I may have
been projecting a scenario which had little foundation in reality. I
was therefore determined to work against these feelings.
However despite endeavouring to act on this assumption, I still
felt out of place and deeply insecure.