Therapy Today

Reviews
Reasons
for lying
Why we lie: the source
of our disasters
Dorothy Rowe
Fourth Estate 2010, £18.99
ISBN 978-0007278855
Reviewed by Gertrud Mander
This is an amazing book with
a snappy title that at first made
me expect a morality tract.
In fact, the author does not
plead for more telling of the
truth, but rather for a thorough
examination of how ‘ubiquitous
lying is in human life and how
we construct reality’. She uses
her vast psychological
knowledge to reveal what
complicates our perception,
confirming Freud’s discovery
of the unconscious: ‘We cannot
see reality directly, but only the
constructions our brain devises
from our past experience. Most
of what we know lies in our
unconscious.’ But she is no
Freudian and is quite critical
of the ‘lurid connotations of
psychoanalysis’ (p39). Her own
approach is pragmatic, as she
believes that consciousness is
quite a small part of what goes
on in our brain: ‘the fear of
being annihilated as a person
is far worse than the fear of
death... This is why we lie’ (p50).
This lively book is brimful of
interesting thoughts, theories
and questions, and contains
fascinating information on how
we construct reality. There
are interesting stories about
celebrities, quotes from the
writer’s extensive reading, from
her vast knowledge of history,
politics, of crooked presentday
events, and the affairs of
famous people like Hemingway,
Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir.
Confirming that ‘lying is
necessary’, Rowe goes on to
describe how we learn to lie,
and how we lie because we
have reason to lie, and are
afraid of chaos. Yet we are also
shown how dangerous it is to
be obedient, how important
fantasies are, how they are
shared with others, and that
we are constantly drawn into
other people’s mad conspiracy
theories, eg the delusions of
politicians like Hitler, Stalin,
or, dare I say it, Gordon Brown.
There are interesting asides
on climate change, churches,
scientists, Holocaust deniers,
pet hates like Blair, Cheney,
Bush, and high finance horror
stories like Enron and RBS.
Last but not least, politicians,
bankers and people who are
lying for the Government tell
us about how we are lied to
by the newspapers.
I highly recommend this
book. The only thing that was
missing for me is a bibliography.
Gertrud Mander is a
psychodynamic psychotherapist
Challenging
bullies in the
workplace
Managing workplace bullying:
how to identify, respond
to and manage bullying
behaviour in the workplace
Aryanne Oade
Palgrave Macmillan 2009, £25
ISBN 978-0230228085
Reviewed by Vee Howard-
Jones
This book does exactly what
it says in the title. The reader
is given practical step-by-step
information and instructions
on how to manage a myriad
of situations that involve
workplace bullying. Its author
is a seasoned chartered
psychologist, who runs her
own coaching and development
business and has delivered
workshops and training events
to businesses in the public and
private sector. She draws on
the experiences of her clients
to produce some helpful case
studies which give the reader
opportunities to gauge how
they might respond in a
number of given circumstances.
In this way the book is rather
like a self-help learning tool.
The text is aimed at four
groups: those with experience
(current or past) of being
bullied; those who linemanage
someone who
bullies; people who are
close to someone who is
being bullied; and those who
witness bullying behaviour.
The reader is left in no
doubt regarding Oade’s
opinions of bullies in the
workplace or otherwise.
Whilst there is a helpful
section that looks at the
psychological motivations
of bullying behaviour, there
is little consideration for how
bullies become who they are.
Empathy for the bully and
the bullied is a key ingredient
if any kind of mediation and
resolution of difficulties is
going to occur.
Having said this, Oade
aims to empower those who
are experiencing bullying
behaviour. She does this
with crystal clear rhetoric
and carefully considered
potential outcomes.
Enhancing self-esteem
through confronting the
bully is sensitively discussed.
The book is a practical,
well-structured, logical and
pragmatic approach to the
subject, which helps to
affirm and normalise the
experiences of those on the
receiving end of bullying
behaviour.
Vee Howard-Jones is Associate
Director of Psychology,
Counselling and Psychotherapy
at the University of Salford
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40 Therapy Today/www.therapytoday.net/November 2010