Nevada RNFormation – May 2017

Page 6 • nevada RNformation May, June, July 2017
Hope
A Personal Experience
Marla Johnson, BSHA, RN
Flipping through the pages of the magazine, I thought
how ironic it was. There in that tiny room, waiting to
have my mammogram read by the radiologist, were
magazines featuring hairdos and swimsuits. Would I lose
my hair and would I be able to wear a swimsuit? I was waiting for
the mammogram to be read prior to an ultrasound to assess the
health of my right breast. My first mammogram a week ago was
suspicious.
Now I was finally going to find out what my future would be.
Would the ultrasound require me to have surgery? Would I be
needing chemotherapy? For a whole week I had waited for this
second mammogram and the follow up ultrasound, having told no
one. I didn’t want any one to know, lest they worry unnecessarily,
especially my kids.
I gave up on trying to read the magazine, and closed my eyes,
folding my hands. I didn’t pray to be okay. I prayed for courage.
I knew I would have to tell my kids if the results required further
treatment.
I remembered when my father had surgery for cancer many
years before. My mother had let slip very casually in a phone call
that he had come home from the hospital “after surgery.”
“What surgery?” I asked. “His surgery for prostate cancer,” my
mother replied. Underneath the shock was the insult that I had
not been trusted with this information at the outset. I had vowed
I would never do that to my kids. I hoped I wouldn’t be put to the
test.
Just then, the technician came to take me out of the tiny waiting
room and to the ultrasound. Happily, the gel used was warm, the
best thing that had happened all day. I thanked the technician
for that. As the technician applied pressure to the area with the
ultra sound, she murmured numbers quietly to herself; in keeping
with a desire not to worry, I closed my eyes and tried to think
of something else. The only thing that came to mind was the
Lord’s Prayer. I had to start it over a couple of times. Finally, it
was finished and the radiologist came into the room to check the
results. The “shadows” were not worrisome. The mammogram and
ultra sound were “okay.”
In a bit of a daze, I got dressed and found my way to the waiting
room. I realized with a great sense of relief how glad I was I had
not told any one. Now I could go on with my routine, making plans
for the future and would keep my hair after all. I could wear my
swimsuit. And I would have more time with the love of my life, who
looked up and smiled when I said; “I’m okay.”