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FOOTtMU<br />
by Ben Forman & Daniel King-Scoff<br />
“Foofball is nof just about life and deafh. I t s more fhan fh a f” - Bill Sharkly<br />
On fhe 261hJanuary <strong>1999</strong> (6 monfhs affer fhe world cup) 13 English yebloos<br />
turned up a f Heafhrow wifh fhe infenfion o f belying only one fhing (alrighf - maybe<br />
fw o fhings - defy free cigareffes can never be ignored). We ran info fhe sporfs shop<br />
fo bey a foofball. bef dee fo fhe price we had fo w aif 'fill we arrived. Finally, affer<br />
aboef 1 week we finally g of ‘roend fo beying a “commenal” ball.<br />
The firsf serface fo serface daily baffering was fhe small bef exfremely effective<br />
patch o f grass oefside Reznik #7 which was soon ferned info a perfect "one<br />
boence pitch. If took a while, bef affer a long tiresome sfreggle wifh fhe yanks, and<br />
their pathetic game of basketball, we laid claim fo fhe coert af Reznik for a foofball<br />
pitch. Many a memorable game has been played there, and there is nothing more one<br />
can ask for fhan fo play fhe tidy game overlooking fhe holy city!<br />
At firsf, for us Westerners, it was extremely strange to have fo start fhe week<br />
on Sundays. But w hat helped immensely was knowing that there was always a United<br />
Nation foofball match (on fhe H yaff pitch) to look forw ard to every Sunday night Of<br />
course us Brits turned up without fail (even in fhe pouring rain), but other nationalities<br />
committed fo fhe cause were: the Dutch, Israelis, French, Scottish, Welsh, Australians,<br />
South Africans and Brazilians and last, but certainly least .. fhe sole Argentinean representative<br />
- who certainly does Maradona and the Argentinean footie team proud, with<br />
his love of fair play and commitment fo keeping within fhe rules of fhe game (YEAH).<br />
As the founders of world civilization, one of fhe new British inventions now<br />
adapted even by Americans, is fhe beautiful game of “one bounce” No matter what the<br />
situation, you’ll always find a game, whether if be af a Motorway (Highway) service<br />
station, or on fop o f a mounfain(as Sea to Sea).<br />
A big thank you must g o f out fo the owners of Zolly’s the Tavern, fhe Road Bar,<br />
and Champs, who have all had fhe privilege of hosting a group of drunken English bloks<br />
all intent on concentrating on fhe game, and certainly not on providing them wifh any<br />
business. Israeli pubs may be willing fo accommodate for British foofball but Channel 5<br />
was certainly nof. Firstly, during a major English cup final between the Spurs and<br />
Lechesfer they had fhe audacity fo switch back and forth fo an irrelevant Celfa Vigo<br />
game. For this reason we blame and hate Chaim Ravivo. Secondly, on send final day,<br />
Israeli cable decided fo go AWOL in fhe center o f Jerusalem. The British contingent was<br />
forced fo run around Jerusalem like headless chickens, fo find fhe games and some even<br />
resorted fo watching if in an electrical store selling TV’s (in fhe Canyon). Yet again<br />
Celfa Vigo and Chaim Ravivo interrupted. We’ll never forget having fo convince a university<br />
professor to reschedule a lecture fo accommodate our watching, and also when a<br />
whole male population o f fhe class cuts class fo see a game/<br />
Just fo get one fhing straight - “Handball” is so-called because they use their<br />
hands and a ball - - “Football” is so-called because fhe players kick fhe ball wifh their<br />
feet/ Why do you (fhe Americans) insist on calling is SOCCER? P.S. where did your hoops<br />
go?
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