The Inkling Volume 2
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Would you rather …? With Mr G<br />
Heaney<br />
By Xavier St John an d David Makale na<br />
We asked Mr Heaney (the Lord of L13) to answer our ‘Would you rather…?’ questions and,<br />
after persuading him to move away from his work and take part in our wacky interview,<br />
we’re happy to say that he gave some great answers to some stupidly made-up questions.<br />
Xavier: So sir, first question. Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized<br />
duck?<br />
Mr Heaney: Hmm, I think pretty easily it would be 100 duck sized horses because you could<br />
just boot them away. Easy.<br />
Xavier: Okay then. Next question. Would you rather sweat golden syrup or cry ketchup?<br />
Mr Heaney: Ew, neither is great. But I guess it would be crying ketchup. I’m not a fan of<br />
sweet stuff so being covered in it would be horrible.<br />
Xavier: Makes sense. Would you rather only eat kale or only drink Irn Bru for the rest of your<br />
life?<br />
Mr Heaney: Kale as in the green vegetable? I love kale so much. I would happily eat kale for<br />
the rest of my life. I put it in soup all the time. My kids have kale in their soup and they don’t<br />
even know it. It’s great stuff!<br />
Xavier: Didn’t know you had such a passion for it! Now, would you rather go back in time 5<br />
mins or travel 30 mins into the future?<br />
Mr Heaney: Now I know you think that I’m gonna pick the 5 mins in the past because I’m a<br />
historian but it’s far too insignificant so I’ll have to pick 30 mins in the future. It would be a<br />
lot more interesting.<br />
Xavier: Okay, finally then... Would you rather be locked in a room for an hour with all the<br />
drama teachers or all the maths teachers?<br />
Mr Heaney: This is actually really hard. Hmm…..I guess it would be the drama teachers. No<br />
disrespect to the maths department but the drama teachers would probably be more fun<br />
and it would be a lot more exciting.<br />
Xavier: And there we go sir! Thanks for answering our questions.<br />
Mr Heaney: I’ll always make time to ask questions like that. <strong>The</strong> wackier the better!<br />
Did you agree with Mr Heaney’s picks? Would you have gone wildly different? On the next<br />
page is a list of other would you rather questions compiled for your pleasure. See you next<br />
time where we quiz another teacher on some absurd questions.<br />
If you have any question suggestions or a particular teacher you would like us to quiz,<br />
please email:<br />
xstjohn8004@sohamcollege.org.uk<br />
or<br />
dmakalena7922@sohamcollege.org.uk
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