Create successful ePaper yourself
Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.
Shirley’s Burn Book<br />
This month, Chloe Krumholtz is a fugly fag hag and…<br />
Oprah<br />
for President! Not.<br />
Yeah, yeah! Oprah made a great speech at the Golden<br />
Globes. And there’s no denying she’s a very influential<br />
person – especially if you’re trying to shift copies of<br />
your crappy self-help book or peddle some conspiracy<br />
theory that vaccines give you autism. Housewives lap<br />
up what Oprah dishes out… and that’s why people<br />
think she’d be a great President.<br />
Of course, she has all other qualifications to be<br />
US President: she’s a billionaire and she’s has a huge<br />
platform. I just don’t think that TV presenters running for<br />
high office is something Miriam O’Callaghan needs to<br />
hear about.<br />
James Franco<br />
is a Great Pretender<br />
This week it’s the turn of James Franco to deny he’s<br />
done terrible things to women. But wait, he’s (sorta) gay, isn’t<br />
he? Can we stop acting surprised that Hollywood people<br />
aren’t what they seem? It is literally their job to pretend<br />
to be someone they’re not. And sometimes they’re really<br />
convincing at pretending to be decent a human being. I know<br />
I am.<br />
Bye by to those ‘Franco is secretly gay’ rumours.<br />
Courtney Act<br />
flashed her tuck!<br />
I’m not watching Celebrity Big Brother but I did hear about<br />
Courtney Act’s revealing entry into the house. In case<br />
you missed it (and there wasn’t much to miss), Courtney<br />
‘caught’ in her dress on the steps to the house and the<br />
entire bottom of her dress came away… and bitch wasn’t<br />
wearing panties.<br />
Scandalous! Most people think it was intentional and she<br />
was just looking for headlines. And unless you’re Janet<br />
Jackson, that kind of thing tends to work. Personally, I’m<br />
just not really into unsolicited dick pics.<br />
RTÉ<br />
is Gender Fucked<br />
RTÉ is giving itself a pat on the back<br />
for finally getting around to hiring two<br />
female anchors for its Six O’Clock News<br />
programme, Keelin Shanley and Catriona<br />
Perry. But if RTÉ think that’s gender<br />
representation sorted for them, they’ll shit<br />
themselves when they realise that the kids<br />
are a bit more complex than that. Facebook<br />
says that there are more than 70 different<br />
categories for gender used on the site. RTÉ<br />
News needs a bigger studio!<br />
Marky Mark<br />
is a Greedy Bitch<br />
Marky Mark Wahlberg became famous for grabbing his crotch<br />
in his Calvin Klein undies. Now he’s just known for money<br />
grabbing.<br />
When Kevin Spacey was revealed as a sex-pest and<br />
fired from the film All the Money in the World, , the crew<br />
re-shot scenes with his replacement Christopher<br />
Plummer. Co-star Michelle Williams really wanted the<br />
film to happen so she agreed to do the reshoots for<br />
next to nothing, but supporting actor Marky Mark got<br />
paid an extra $1.5 million because he cared less.<br />
And that’s his biggest dick move since he flashed his<br />
prosthetic in Boogie Nights.<br />
g 46
Change language