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Brett and Kate McKay<br />
How to Discover Your Values<br />
Your task for Day 1 of our 30 Days to a Better Man project is to discover,<br />
clearly define, and write down your core values. Before we begin, let’s be<br />
clear that we’re not trying to define goals here. Goals are specific actions,<br />
like “becoming financially independent by age 30” or “asking my girlfriend<br />
to marry me this June.” What we are looking for are values: the ideas that<br />
you esteem to be of great worth and that give structure to your life.<br />
1. Get nice and relaxed. Go to a quiet room and sit in a big comfy chair<br />
(maybe even sit in your closet; something about small spaces helps<br />
you think), grab the fishing pole and spend an hour or two casting<br />
your line into the fishing hole, or take a walk on a nature trail or<br />
around your neighborhood. Just do whatever works for you.<br />
2. Have the proper tools. Have a pen and paper handy so you can write<br />
down your values as they come to you. I don’t recommend using a<br />
computer to do this as it’s pretty easy to get distracted from the task<br />
at hand. Write on something you won’t accidentally throw away and<br />
that will last for many years to come.<br />
3. Ask yourself this question: “What’s truly important to me as a<br />
man?” Once you’re nice and relaxed, simply ask yourself what’s truly<br />
important to you. Think about those moments in your life when you<br />
felt completely whole and fulfilled as a man. Think about the times<br />
when you’ve been the happiest. If nothing comes to you at first, don’t<br />
worry. Just keep thinking.<br />
4. Write down whatever comes to you. When you have a moment of<br />
insight about what’s important to you, write it down. Don’t self-censor<br />
yourself. Be completely honest during this process. No one else is<br />
going to see this, so don’t list the values that you think “should” be on<br />
your list. If it comes to you, write it. You’ll be able to go back and edit<br />
the list in the next step. For now, just do a total brain dump. (Also,<br />
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