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30 Days to a better man<br />

college, and are we not still at times, if we can admit it, “unbearably lonely?”<br />

(Be sure to check out our article on how to make friends when you move<br />

to a new city.)<br />

Yet unlike the men of the 19 th century, the men of today do not seek<br />

even closer friendships to enrich their lives and lend them support. Instead,<br />

under the excuse of being too busy, we often distance ourselves from other<br />

men, trying to be the lone wolf. Or, as Wayne has pointed out, we look to<br />

female relationships to cure all of our hunger for intimacy.<br />

Our Crumbling Connections<br />

We are isolated more than ever before. According to a study conducted by<br />

the American Sociological Review in 2006, over the past two decades, the<br />

number of confidantes Americans feel comfortable discussing important<br />

matters with has shrunk by a third. 25% of the study’s respondents said<br />

they had no one with whom they felt comfortable discussing important<br />

matters, more than double the percentage who felt that way 20 years ago.<br />

And 20% said they had only one person with which to do so. The greatest<br />

drop in confidantes occurred in non-familial relations. Or in other words,<br />

our friends.<br />

What a lamentable state of things. Can we get by without any friends?<br />

Surely. But can friends enrich our lives and make us happier? Most definitely.<br />

There’s something invaluable about knowing that you are not alone<br />

in the world. That no matter what, there’s a guy out there who you absolutely<br />

know has your back. A friend that would come to your side if you<br />

were beset with a crisis.<br />

So what was the difference between the men of the 19 th Century and our<br />

day? Did they need friendships more some how? That’s debatable. Were<br />

they less busy? Men of today would probably like to think so. Busyness is<br />

our favorite excuse for why we can’t make time for the good things in life.<br />

But given that the men of the 19 th century had no electricity, no modern<br />

appliances, no internet, no cars, no packaged meals, no cell phones, and no<br />

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