Chimes: 2018 Edition (emended Blazevox book pdf)

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#10 I was in the bathtub and I said my name over and over again until I forgot myself. The lights in the bathroom were on but I went deeper and deeper into darkness, and an empty void, and I heard my name as a something foreign. I heard my name, and I truly was not, I was a null and a void, null and void, and I had no self to be. Then, slowly, I regained myself, but I did not forget the essential emptiness, the uncompromising NO that I found behind the quotidian YES of selfhood. This happened also riding in a car to Aunt Libby’s, and listening to the radio I thought NOTHING ANYWHERE until NOTHING got so big I shut my mind down in fright, and my consciousness streamed mellower. 16
#11 My father was then in an apartment. I loved the apartment because it was small and different from the house and I could listen to cars late at night. I could listen to cars after watching baseball on a little black and white Panasonic and I was on a couch and it was comfortable and different and I loved my father for being apart from the house and what usually was. There were Steak-Ums in the apartment and a china bull and many times we went to see the Phillies play because it was important to have fun and for my father to be my father and do what that meant. I even once rode on a motorcycle driven by my father’s friend and held on tight but the wind was almost too much. My father was almost too much too because he was so apart from the much that always was in me. 17
Page 1 and 2: CHIMES Adam Fieled BlazeVOX [books]
Page 3 and 4: B X
Page 5: CHIMES
Page 8 and 9: #2 An iron on my feet was a big bur
Page 10 and 11: #4 Father, my father, was there and
Page 12 and 13: #6 We had to go to an ugly place to
Page 14 and 15: #8 I brooded through summers of pla
Page 18 and 19: #12 There was decay so that my Mom
Page 20 and 21: #14 Suddenly there was a school tha
Page 22 and 23: #16 I fell in love with one who sym
Page 24 and 25: #18 We were moving. This was to be
Page 26 and 27: #20 Things shifted. I went from coo
Page 28 and 29: #22 Now I had a sister who was half
Page 30 and 31: #24 A new school year was a new way
Page 32 and 33: #26 Through music, words emerged in
Page 34 and 35: #28 Images were entering my mind an
Page 36 and 37: #30 I was in a train riding to Maho
Page 38 and 39: #32 I often remembered kindergarten
Page 40 and 41: #34 I got a high from theater and f
Page 42 and 43: #36 Cheltenham was a creepy town in
Page 44 and 45: #38 Words about music were another
Page 46 and 47: #40 A kind of madness would not let
Page 48 and 49: #42 N and I found ourselves involve
Page 50 and 51: #44 There was Ted and I and even th
Page 52 and 53: #46 There was no reason for me to b
Page 54 and 55: #48 We had gone, briefly, to Disney
Page 56 and 57: #50 One night, Dad came into my roo
Page 58 and 59: #52 Now all pretences of normalcy a
Page 60 and 61: #54 A sense of things not being rig
Page 62 and 63: #56 Dad had a brother who was not s
Page 64 and 65: #58 It was around the time of Dad

Chimes: 2018 Edition (emended Blazevox book pdf)

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