Chimes: 2018 Edition (emended Blazevox book pdf)

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#54 A sense of things not being right manifested in the new house immediately. I had nothing to say to the enchantress or her children; they had nothing to say to me. Dad’s gaiety became shrill and forced. I had no good advice for him; he had given me a role I could not begin to fulfill. Within six weeks, the enchantress and her children were gone, back to the husband and father they had abandoned. Dad and I were alone in a creepy house, a shadow of the one we had so lately left. Dad’s reaction to this stunning failure was to ape superiority; that though everything had gone wrong it was not his responsibility. Others had let him down. He had always been flinty; he became flintier. I was overwhelmed by the feeling of having been involved in a spectacular mess; I felt and shared Dad’s criminality, which he himself had (to and for himself) abjured. I bore the burdens that he would not. 60
#55 Ted and I went to see Dead Again in Jenkintown. Continuance had been broken; we were in high school and had no classes together and did not see each other every weekend. Dad picked us up from the theater and tried to establish some of the old master/slave rapport with Ted. It didn’t work; Ted played along, but the charm of the festive house had been overtaken by general creepiness and the feeling wasn’t the same. Once we were home for the night I could see that Ted wanted to leave. There were ghosts and echoes here but not like Mill Road; these were ghosts created by lust, inconsideration, precipitance, and madness. Dad’s new thing was to posit the whole experience as having been “no big deal”; he had no notion that others had been forced to experience anguish, on his behalf and at his behest. 61
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CHIMES Adam Fieled BlazeVOX [books]
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B X
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CHIMES
Page 8 and 9:
#2 An iron on my feet was a big bur
Page 10 and 11: #4 Father, my father, was there and
Page 12 and 13: #6 We had to go to an ugly place to
Page 14 and 15: #8 I brooded through summers of pla
Page 16 and 17: #10 I was in the bathtub and I said
Page 18 and 19: #12 There was decay so that my Mom
Page 20 and 21: #14 Suddenly there was a school tha
Page 22 and 23: #16 I fell in love with one who sym
Page 24 and 25: #18 We were moving. This was to be
Page 26 and 27: #20 Things shifted. I went from coo
Page 28 and 29: #22 Now I had a sister who was half
Page 30 and 31: #24 A new school year was a new way
Page 32 and 33: #26 Through music, words emerged in
Page 34 and 35: #28 Images were entering my mind an
Page 36 and 37: #30 I was in a train riding to Maho
Page 38 and 39: #32 I often remembered kindergarten
Page 40 and 41: #34 I got a high from theater and f
Page 42 and 43: #36 Cheltenham was a creepy town in
Page 44 and 45: #38 Words about music were another
Page 46 and 47: #40 A kind of madness would not let
Page 48 and 49: #42 N and I found ourselves involve
Page 50 and 51: #44 There was Ted and I and even th
Page 52 and 53: #46 There was no reason for me to b
Page 54 and 55: #48 We had gone, briefly, to Disney
Page 56 and 57: #50 One night, Dad came into my roo
Page 58 and 59: #52 Now all pretences of normalcy a
Page 62 and 63: #56 Dad had a brother who was not s
Page 64 and 65: #58 It was around the time of Dad
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