Chimes: 2018 Edition (emended Blazevox book pdf)

#40
A kind of madness would not let me focus only on N. There were other parties and
other girls: always the same wave, frisson, feeling of two-in-one. It would take many
years to learn that this wave, powerful as it was, was short-lived. But contact with the
feeling of this wave had so much of bliss in it that I sought it out at every opportunity,
and grew petulant when forced to live without it. It only seemed to work on girls that
were beautiful; otherwise I felt nothing. Lack of control was desirable but led me into
non-continuity. What echoes of Tookany Creek were in this feeling created a hunger
that was not to be assuaged; unlike music and words, this wave could not be relied
upon, and the focus I felt for music and words was dissipated here. It was my
misfortune to learn that continuance, as applied to art, could actively detract from
continuance in other situations and on other levels.
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