Covey - The 7 habits of highly effective people

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strength of character, the being, that makes possible every other positive thing in our lives. It is here that we find two ways to put ourselves in control of our lives immediately. We can make a promise -- and keep it. Or we can set a goal -- and work to achieve it. As we make and keep commitments, even small commitments, we begin to establish an inner integrity that gives us the awareness of self-control and the courage and strength to accept more of the responsibility for our own lives. By making and keeping promises to ourselves and others, little by little, our honor becomes greater than our moods. The power to make and keep commitments to ourselves is the essence of developing the basic habits of effectiveness. Knowledge, skill, and desire are all within our control. We can work on any one to improve the balance of the three. As the area of intersection becomes larger, we more deeply internalize the principles upon which the habits are based and create the strength of character to move us in a balanced way toward increasing effectiveness in our lives. Proactivity: The 30-Day Test We don't have to go through the death camp experience of Frankl to recognize and develop our own proactivity. It is in the ordinary events of every day that we develop the proactive capacity to handle the extraordinary pressures of life. It's how we make and keep commitments, how we handle a traffic jam, how we respond to an irate customer or a disobedient child. It's how we view our problems and where we focus our energies. It's the language we use. I would challenge you to test the principle of proactivity for 30 days. Simply try it and see what happens. For 30 days work only in your Circle of Influence. Make small commitments and keep them. Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Try it in your marriage, in your family, in your job. Don't argue for other people's weaknesses. Don't argue for your own. When you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn from it -immediately. Don't get into a blaming, accusing mode. Work on things you have control over. Work on you. On be. Look at the weaknesses of others with compassion, not accusation. It's not what they're not doing or should be doing that's the issue. The issue is your own chosen response to the situation and what you should be doing. If you start to think the problem is "out there," stop yourself. That thought is the problem. People who exercise their embryonic freedom day after day will, little by little, expand that freedom. People who do not will find that it withers until they are literally "being lived." They are acting out the scripts written by parents, associates, and society. We are responsible for our own effectiveness, for our own happiness, and ultimately, I would say, for most of our circumstances. Samuel Johnson observed: "The fountain of content must spring up in the mind, and he who hath so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition, will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief he proposes to remove." 51
Knowing that we are responsible -- "response-able" -- is fundamental to effectiveness and to every other habit of effectiveness we will discuss. Application Suggestions 1. For a full day, listen to your language and to the language of the people around you. How often do you use and hear reactive phrases such as "If only," "I can't," or "I have to" 2. Identify an experience you might encounter in the near future where, based on past experience, you would probably behave reactively. Review the situation in the context of your Circle of Influence. How could you respond proactively? Take several moments and create the experience vividly in your mind, picturing yourself responding in a proactive manner. Remind yourself of the gap between stimulus and response. Make a commitment to yourself to exercise your freedom to choose. 3. Select a problem from your work or personal life that is frustrating to you. Determine whether it is a direct, indirect, or no control problem. Identify the first step you can take in your Circle of Influence to solve it and then take that step. 4. Try the 30-day test of proactivity. Be aware of the change in your Circle of Influence. 52
Page 1 and 2: THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIV
Page 3 and 4: These principles, however, are like
Page 5 and 6: Stephen Covey adds great value to a
Page 7 and 8: I have a forceful personality. I kn
Page 9 and 10: This personality ethic, I began to
Page 11 and 12: long-term relationship they have, w
Page 13 and 14: The professor then asked one studen
Page 15 and 16: ingenuity, and creating a standard
Page 17 and 18: Shortly after dark, the lookout on
Page 19 and 20: The more closely our maps or paradi
Page 21 and 22: So I first tried a simple request.
Page 23 and 24: There's so much to do. And there's
Page 25 and 26: But from my own experience -- both
Page 27 and 28: interdependent, that there is an ec
Page 29 and 30: Understanding the sequence will hel
Page 31 and 32: training, the communicating, the re
Page 33 and 34: trust, and lost the asset of custom
Page 35 and 36: disappear. Those you teach will see
Page 37 and 38: "You're never on time." "Why can't
Page 39 and 40: instincts and conditioning and cond
Page 41 and 42: such personal freedom and the effec
Page 43 and 44: you to act. If you wait to be acted
Page 45 and 46: "Think hard. What do you think woul
Page 47 and 48: Because of position, wealth, role,
Page 49 and 50: So these executives focused on find
Page 51: We can decide to be dishonest in ou
Page 55 and 56: When I look upon the tombs of the g
Page 57 and 58: Whether we are aware of it or not,
Page 59 and 60: Because we already live with many s
Page 61 and 62: Succeed at home first. Seek and mer
Page 63 and 64: so-called mental and emotional illn
Page 65 and 66: When we are dependent on the person
Page 67 and 68: Innocent pleasures in moderation ca
Page 69 and 70: Because the church is a formal orga
Page 71 and 72: If you are Money Centered... SECURI
Page 73 and 74: WISDOM You see the world through a
Page 75 and 76: We can depend on them Principles do
Page 77 and 78: POWER Your power is limited only by
Page 79 and 80: Fourth, you can communicate to your
Page 81 and 82: many different kinds of thought pro
Page 83 and 84: We would try to get him in a very r
Page 85 and 86: I inspire: I teach by example that
Page 87 and 88: When we plan our family goals and a
Page 89 and 90: "Everybody," he replied. "Everybody
Page 91 and 92: Application Suggestions 1. Take the
Page 93 and 94: Management, remember, is clearly di
Page 95 and 96: with the bath water," reverting to
Page 97 and 98: was to enforce the contract -- to c
Page 99 and 100: There are many people who recognize
Page 101 and 102: Coherence: Coherence suggests that
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mission statement, you may want to
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all day. Remember, frustration is a
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it! -- Don't take it!" I was afraid
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"You, Dad?" "No, not me. You're the
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I bit my tongue and waited until af
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Application Suggestions: 1. Identif
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"Well, you'd like to take a screwdr
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And this is in the most intimate, t
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Our tendency is to project out of o
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"I thought you meant that the quali
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you are honest and open and kind wi
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When we violate the primary laws of
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deep personal affection which added
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Habit 4: Think Win-Win TM -- Princi
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"My parents don't love me as much a
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I know of a divorce in which the hu
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"In other words, you lost." "That's
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worked to set up a Win-Win Agreemen
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High courage and consideration are
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communication process. You listen m
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people be able to do when they fini
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guidelines, and resources to make s
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40. The spirit of win-win had signi
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Roger Fisher and William Ury, two H
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Habit 5: Seek First to Understand,
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and influence, I don't feel safe en
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You're listening to understand. You
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Sandra described the symptoms and h
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esults in communication. To many, s
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"I know you've sacrificed, Dad. But
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What a difference real understandin
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I remember writing one time in a ro
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trust of another person's communica
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Habit 5 is something you can practi
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Habit 6: Synergize TM Principles of
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hit-or-miss, trial and error. And u
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very open and authentic and simply
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Synergy means that 1 + 1 may equal
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arrange for some help at the first
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"I know," he replied with a forced
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He also developed charley horses fr
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scheduled payments were met. It was
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Application Suggestions 1. Think ab
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"Sharpen the Saw" basically means e
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If you haven't been exercising, you
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This is why I believe a personal mi
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centered on the principles of perso
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diminishes us. It increases us beca
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create negative force field resista
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closer we align ourselves with corr
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The children looked forward to the
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Sandra and I were amazed at what we
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Becoming a Transition Person Among
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Again, T. S. Eliot expresses so bea
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* * If your center is Pleasure... S
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This is the way you may tend to per
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Many third-generation time managers
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Preparing the media budget. Regardi
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produce interesting and creative wa
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Covey - The 7 habits of highly effective people

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