Static Live Magazine November 2019

Behind the Mic: Riggs
95.7 the Hog, Daytona Beach
Hello!
Time for the annual installment of my
Thanksgiving Thankfuls. 2019 provided
another roller coaster of happenings and I
sorted out the ones I appreciate the most,
so here goes….
- I am thankful for hats for allowing me to
function in society with the hair that resides
on my head. It is a frightening day when I
realize I didn’t grab a hat and have to pop
headphones on for 4 hours and then function
in public. Not good for anybody.
Thankful
- I’m thankful for It’s Always Sunny In
Philadelphia for being the one show that
I can always escape to and laugh ‘til my
stomach hurts.
- Thanks to websites that track personal
likes and remind me to buy things I didn’t
realize I needed. Also thanks to my checking
account balance for reminding me that those
purchases won’t be feasible. The financial
crisis averted!
- I am thankful for turkey. Tender, succulent
turkey breast doused in the aforementioned
Squeeze Parkay. Try it, it’ll change your life.
And likely your cholesterol levels.
- I am thankful for my wife and kids who
remind me that I am never as cool as I think
I am and have something called “South Park
Mode” that I sometimes slip into and curse
the world. Love those checks and balances!
- I’m thankful to those same 2 kids for
allowing me to impart solid life knowledge
like “Don’t put pizza in the toilet” and “THIS is
why you should never drink vodka”.
- I’m thankful for the beach and all its healing
powers, mind and body.
- I’m thankful for my gig at 95.7 The HOG /
The Morning HOG where I get to create fun
and interest every weekday with Guy and
Intern Steve. Hope we make ‘ya laugh and
forget about your morning grind.
- Thanks to Monster Energy Rehab Tea. It’s
the closest to coffee I’ll ever get and gives
the illusion that I’m awake during the show.
- Thanks to bands like Bullet For My
Valentine for allowing me to feel enough
adrenaline to want to punch through a cinder
block, but coming up just short of doing so.
It’s the best anger management around.
- I am thankful for clouds that look like sheep
or squid.
- I’m thankful to IKEA for their eclectic and
sometimes affordable home goods. They
make me happy and make my wallet sweat.
- Thanks to green holiday lights for being
functional for both Halloween and Christmas,
allowing me to leave them up for the whole
3-month stretch. Winning!
- I’m thankful for Uber drivers who share
stories. In San Francisco last month, the
driver told me he was a sushi chef by trade
and then offered me a Volcano Roll fresh
from his glovebox. I was grateful for his
expertise and his spicy surprise. I don’t
recommend it to everyone, though. Perhaps
stick with wrapped, non-perishable car food
options. The good news is I DON’T have
pinworms!
- I’m thankful for our new broadcast building
having an elaborate, fully stocked vending
machine. Or at least I was thankful until I
was told those items have been in there for at
least a year. Now I’m thankful for penicillin.
- Finally, I’m thankful to my friends at
STATIC LIVE MAGAZINE for allowing me to
spew these out each month, usually on an
irrationally extended, deadline-abusing delay.
They are true patient visionaries and I thank
them sincerely for this product and YOU for
reading it!
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- I am thankful for Squeeze Parkay. I’m not
sure if it’s butter or margarine or just some
weird hybrid of yellow fluid and oil but I’ll take
it muffin or some steak any day.
- Thanks to football for letting me enjoy all
of my emotions in a single 3 hour session ..
anger, frustration, bliss, excitement,
anticipation, nervous breakdown,
sweating, and disappointment. That
pigskin’s got it all.
- Thanks to pepperoni pizza, my oldest and
bestest friend. No matter what shape or size
you come in, you always delight my taste
buds and give me faith in humanity.
- I thank SATURDAY NIGHT LOUD, my
weekly hard rock, and metal show, for
allowing me to expose you to some new or
old tunes that you may never hear elsewhere
and end up enriching your playlist. It’s a true
passion project.
- I am thankful for Belgian Waffles which are
better than pancakes by far. If you disagree,
you need counseling.
- I am thankful to Will Ferrel and his Ron
Burgundy podcast for making me laugh
so hard on a plane recently that ALL of my
complimentary Jack & Coke entered then
sprayed through my nostrils.
Cheers!
RIGGS
Catch RIGGS, GUY, & INTERN STEVE
The Morning HOG / 95-7 The HOG
Weekdays 5-10am
& SATURDAY NIGHT LOUD 9-midnight
@saturdayloud on Twitter
The Morning Hog on FaceBook
riggs@957thehog.com
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