Eastlife Winter 2019

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40FORTIETH ANNIVERSARY1979 – 2019The place to visitTHRIGBY HALLFILBY GREAT YARMOUTHNR29 3DR% 01493 369477www.thrigbyhall.co.ukOPEN EVERY DAYOF THE YEARfrom 10.00am
Mum’sTheWordLITTLE EASTWinter is packed full of festivities in my household. Not onlyChristmas and New Year but various family birthdays and thereforelots of time spent with our extended family. Winter is also a timewhen everything is stripped bare, the cold and the dark seemsto allow sadness to creep in, even in the midst of joyful festivals.And sadness is never far away if you’ve experienced the loss ofsomeone you love as we have recently.I always considered myself lucky where my family was concerned.I had a great grandad until I was eight and lost my first grandparentat 18. I had so much time with these wonderful people and carryso many happy memories because of this. Now my son has beeneven more lucky. He has had four great grandparents in his life,losing one as an infant, one when he was fairly young and losingone this year. And this one he really felt, as did I.My grandad was a remarkable man, always bigger than life,always full of joy. He is inextricably linked to Christmas in mymind, perhaps because he reminds me of the ghost of Christmaspresent, perhaps because his birthday was near Christmasearning him the middle name Noel or perhaps just because everyChristmas I remember includes my Grandad’s booming voiceasking: “Has he been?” (and yes, even into adulthood).Christmas this year will be different. And I’m sure I’m not the onlyone in this position so I wanted to write some ideas of how to helpyour children, and you, with their grief.Firstly talk about the person. You don’t need to be maudlin about itor bring them up every day but show your child that rememberingis normal, that love doesn’t stop at the grave. Keep it light if youare worried about upsetting your child, perhaps reminisce abouta funny gift or a shared adventure. The important thing is that yourchild knows that the person you’ve lost isn’t vetoed.Ask your child if they’d like to make a Christmas decoration for theperson they lost. Kids love making things for the people they loveand this will create an annual prompt to remember that personand proudly display their love for them.Perhaps your child has things they want to say to the person theylost that they feel is private. So give them an opportunity to write tothem. Leave a letter for Santa to deliver to your lost loved one, yourchild then gets the feeling of connection with that person not onlythrough the writing but upon seeing it gone Christmas morning (ifSanta isn’t your bag you could send it through fire Mary Poppinsstyle or take it to the grave if there is one).I’m also a big advocate of memory jars. You just need a normaljar, scraps of paper and help your child to write down memoriesof their loved one. It doesn’t need to be profound just little things:their eye colour, their favourite sweets, the places they went.The jar keeps the memories safe and if the child feels they areforgetting they can go to the jar and recall those details.On the day itself don’t feel the need to be joyous all day. If youneed a moment of reflection or sadness then your children maywell do too. Crying isn’t a bad thing, you can all cuddle up and crytogether if you need to, it’s a perfectly healthy thing to do. Remindyour children, and yourself, that grief is the reflection of love andhow lucky you all are to have loved someone so deeply that youmourn their passing.If you have lost someone, this year or a lifetime ago, I send youlove and strength to get through this Christmastime. Be kind toyourself just as the person you lost would be kind to you andMerry Christmas!Written by Dolly Osbornewww.raggydollywrites.wordpress.com | @Osborneosaurus89
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eastlifewww.eastlife.co.ukThe Winte
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Property understood.WITH OVER 25 YE
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ADVERTORIALAll I want for Christmas
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Welcome to Nuffield HealthBrentwood
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ContentsContentsMagazine Production
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Eastlife Winter 2019

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