Static Live Magazine December 2019 Issue

I’m a big fan of holiday music. I know it gets played
out, but there’s so much to love about these unusual
seasonal tunes. Whether Christian based, holiday
centric, or weather oriented most contain unifying
elements of love, peace, comfort and joviality
accompanied by the jingling of bells, and happy
harmonies. Some even hold the promise of hope and
holy salvation. Isn’t it funny that these rollicking songs
blast the airwaves yearly, overwhelming the rest of
the competition for a while? It’s our one universal
soundtrack. As I listen all day long to Music Choice’s
Holiday hits, old and new, I’ve realized a few key
things about this strange genre my sisters and I get
to be a part of. Holiday Music is the great equalizer of
the music industry! It’s also an archive of the beautiful
and the bizarre. Here are some of my findings:
1 Any mainstream or
independent Artist can remake
any holiday song and
put their own stank on it! Take
“Santa Claus is Coming to
Town”. Listen to Bing Crosby
and The Andrews Sisters
original version, then listen
to Bruce Springsteen’s and
Mariah Carey’s take on it. All completely different,
all completely awesome and unique to each’s
artistry. Holiday music differs from other genres
because it actively encourages a wide variety of
cover opportunities. According to Spotify, the top 3
Christmas covers of all time are: #3 Jingle Bells, #2
White Christmas and coming in at #1 Silent Night
with 137,315 versions! I would’ve thought Santa Baby
was somewhere in the top 10, but no. It’s the most
played-out cover in my book. You have Eartha Kitt’s
original vs Madonna vs Gwen Stefani vs Kellie Pickler
vs Ariana Grande vs Rupaul...the list goes on. Eartha
obviously wins this Santa Baby sing off, but the mass
re-make-a-thon can quickly turn into a “Battle of the
Indistinguishables” real fast when you are listening to
the Holiday station for hours. If any of you can tell the
difference between Ashley Tisdale’s “Last Christmas”
and the cast of Glee’s version, you get a
candy cane!
32
2 Any artist can put out a
brand new seasonal song
and hope it goes on to
become a modern Holiday
Classic. Example, Mariah’s
“All I Want For Christmas is
You”, Lindsey Buckingham’s
“Holiday Road” and “Mary
Did You Know” by Michael English. Honorary mention
goes to the Beu Sisters for “Dear Santa” and “Home
for Christmas”, soon to be Christmas classics! (Btw
I saw one copy of Disney’s Jingle Jams available on
Amazon recently! Grab it while you can! They’re flying
off the...interwebs.)
3 Fun fact: With only a hint
of holiday instrumentation
and some seasonal-ish lyrics,
you may get lucky and have
your song added to that
much sought after holiday
rotation. For example, the
Beu Sisters “My Christmas
was in June”, “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of
Music, Franz Schubert’s “Ave Maria”, Joni Mitchell’s
emotionally evocative “The River” and Leonard
Cohen beautiful “Hallelujah”. All great songs, but not
technically Christmas songs.
4 Pretty terrible songscan
still be super successful
holiday hits and get tons of
airplay, bringing lots of good
cheer during this time of
year, as long as its kitschy
and Christmas-y enough!
For instance, “I want a
Hippopotamus for Christmas” and “All I Want for
Sounds of the Season
By Candice Beu
Christmas is my 2 Front Teeth” by Spike Jones (not
the filmmaker) or “I’m Gonna E-mail Santa” by Billy
Gillman and Rosie O’Donnell. There’s a treasure
trove of “so bad they’re just bad” hits such as Bob
Dylan’s “Must Be Santa”, “Funky Funky Christmas” by
NKOTB, Hilary Duff’s “Santa Claus Lane”, “Christmas
Cookies” by Rupaul, the truly awful “The Christmas
Shoes” by Newsong, and the now classic “Grandma
Got Run Over By a Reindeer” by Elmo & Patsy. At the
top of my list of terribly tasty holiday treats are two
internet sensations with their most amozzing holiday
hits: “Chanukah Fever” by Mama Doni and the big
winner...Jan Terri’s “Excuse My Christmas”. Give em
all a listen this season...I double dog dare ya.
5 All Artists of holiday
music (even independents)
are almost always
guaranteed airplay for
at least an entire month
straight. There also seems
to be no discrimination
between artists of today and
yesteryear in the rotation. With virtually no hierarchy,
all are welcome! Everyone gets a seat at the table.
This presents a great musical buffet we often neglect
to ingest in our everyday listening diets. Where else
can you hear little Aaron Carter played side by side
the Trans-Siberian Orchestra? Boyz II Men and The
Beu Sisters in the same lineup as John Lennon and
Paul McCartney...Johnny Mathis following NSync...
Donny Hathaway after Elvis...Frank Sinatra before
a Faith Hill song...Michael Buble’ and Mariah Carey
sharing the same platform as Monica Matocha! I only
heard of Ms. Matocha because of her rendition of
“Holiday Road”. Her seasonal single was released
independently on iTunes in 2011. How cool is that!
She’s out there! We’re out there! Elvis is still out there!
And we all somehow made it to the same banquet.
Nowhere on earth, except during the holidays, is this
kind of musical smorgasbord EVER available to the
listener. I’m not saying this is the best idea in the
world...I’m just pointing it out. It’s pretty weird but it’s
also pretty cool.
6 Artists of old arerevere
for a time on holiday stations,
giving us older kids a chance
to recall our sweetest
childhood memories. Where
once the smooth voices of
Perry Como, Andy Williams,
Bing Crosby, Johnny
Mathis, Frank Sinatra, and Robert Goulet sang to
us thru scratched albums, now crystalline mixes of
these crooners holiday tunes have been preserved
and shared with our kids (tho I still prefer those
gritty recordings). When did any of these recording
giants last get airplay? Well, like all of us, LAST
CHRISTMAS! (lol) Due to the holidays, most artists
who’ve been relegated to the back bins, or put out to
pasture get resurrected (like Jesus and Frosty) for a
brief moment, one magical month per year.
7 We can put on holiday
songs at home or in the car
with our kiddos present and
not worry much about what
their little ears are absorbing.
For the most part we’re
hearing upbeat, positive
songs with good messages
and clean lyrics. Wait...I take that back. There are
those racy exceptions like Indi artist Danielle Car’s
“Save Your Cookies For Me”. With lyrics like “Let me
jingle your bells, You can play with my elves”...it’s
pretty spicy but still not as questionable as the ever
controversial, creepy yet unabashedly catchy “Baby,
It’s Cold Outside”. If you listen closely, you’ll find that
Naughty Santa Songs have been hidden
in plain sight going WAY back. Dissect
the lyrics of Ella Fitzgerald’s “Santa Claus
Got Stuck in My Chimney”, “I saw Mommy
33