Perceptions!verse - Spander Files

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Stupid boy. Stand up, dust down, don’t cry, don’t speak. Don’t exist. I hide, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be seen, because seeing leads to questions and questions lead to answers which float unnoticed above heads and clipboards and endless questionnaires. Why expend the effort if effort leads to red pens and report cards and ducking down back corridors and being late to class again. Stupid, useless, pull your socks up boy. Then out of the blue there’s Willow eyes, Wanting to help, needing to correct and mend and tick the boxes of reassurance and normality. She lays the foundations for a future of egocentric altruism and hey maybe I do listen to Giles sometimes, but I have to follow the hints and the clues and the nudges because of course I wouldn’t work it out any other way. Why does she think I’m stupid; have I given her so much
eason with my jokes and my grins that she thinks I can’t see how screwed things are. Do I need this little trail of breadcrumbs to lure me into a beautiful shiny Willow light? I feel my world shift and she sits there like the lure of a bird of prey, wanting my gratitude and my devotion. Perhaps this is my sacrifice and I have nothing else to give. She whispers in my head. Let me heal you, let me take care of you and you can be like me and be with me. Isn’t that what you want. Please Xander, tell me that’s what you want. 1 Small Print Bloody loan sharks. No sense of honour. Won’t take a bloke’s word that they’re good for the cash. Should never have done a deal on the Hellmouth. Not after last time. Should have known it would go sour. A whole sodding
Page 1: Pairing: S/X eventually...at some p
Page 5 and 6: ut still. Who’d have thought? I l
Page 7 and 8: oy’s fingers are in her hair - wo
Page 9 and 10: She sees him coming and smiles. “
Page 11 and 12: “But Will, what about Cordy?” H
Page 13 and 14: promise. Perhaps it’s time to gra
Page 15 and 16: “You’re not going to find it at
Page 17 and 18: up about the Red head?” “What?
Page 19 and 20: or something?” “No you pillock.
Page 21 and 22: just a mess and I don’t know what
Page 23 and 24: “Head-hunters?” The boy looks s
Page 25 and 26: long. Trouser press, hair dryer, ev
Page 27 and 28: That body really is beginning to ge
Page 29 and 30: the whole Christmas Eve, sleeping b
Page 31 and 32: he left I had this bizarre dream ab
Page 33 and 34: view. Maybe with Dru, watching the
Page 35 and 36: 4 Rewind “Oh, my, God. I had sex!
Page 37 and 38: demon killing, that’s more Buffy
Page 39 and 40: sex with Faith of all people, you t
Page 41 and 42: that copper hadn’t got there firs
Page 43 and 44: “Oh, no way. I am not playing cha
Page 45 and 46: the place burning. He’s got his h
Page 47 and 48: to nick my drink. “What the hell
Page 49 and 50: she could go. Teach you a thing or
Page 51 and 52: my style. Wouldn’t catch me patro
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the Slayer’s boy.” My hand’s
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“So, anyway. You guys okay? Deliv
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“Xander?” He’s got his eyes f
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can understand that, what with the
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indication of his state of mind. I
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around in one of the pockets of my
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“Saw you, saw the fox, saw the bl
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He’s picking at the splinters on
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second and then it starts. No sound
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ound. Can’t be anonymous if you
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othered one way or the other. “Wa
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watching him, enjoying the sound of
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senses are filled with this boy. So
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and an anguished whimpering and I
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usybodies might say. I’m sure non
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that are you? Know much about algeb
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that counts. Come on, come over her
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andom beastie then that has to be a
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He’s starting to gather up his bi
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“Look at the sky, Spike. It looks
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growing inside me, just waiting to
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Soft feather touches down his ribca
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Slayer strangling dream. Though why
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and I’ve really got to go.” He
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the chain of events together in his
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take you away from them. Not trying
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straight out of my head. “Because
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not you. Not a peep in that directi
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HoHo’s. Always wanted to take chi
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after he left. Sometimes I want to
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can just imagine William writing so
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Good strategic planning, stopping o
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idea what I would say. Shit, I can
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Slayer or anybody I owe money to. M
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out of his business, before the wol
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nothing to worry about. I left you
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She wanted Daddy and a thousand sub
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this time round, things will be on
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of enthusiastic, but then the Slaye
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towards resignation, it’s like he
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his face. “I’d better get back.
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glass at the top of the door. Now t
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Who the hell did that?” I can fee
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giving you the information, so that
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“I think we’ll probably do them
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Tongues and lips and teeth and brea
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“Spike, I’m not smoking any mor
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“You feel hot, love. Are you hot?
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wound in his head that he can’t s
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elly and down along the inside of h
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Oh yes, result. “So, you want the
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seems the best policy. “Well love
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old sod said, never listened to him
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“Okay, see you tomorrow. Maybe yo
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He really gets a mouth on him when
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Every fallen in love. In love with
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“Dance with me, pet. Follow my mo
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away again before he can respond.
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That’s where the tactics come in.
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foot as momentum carries him past m
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learned something today.” “And
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that the laughing’s stopped and h
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This is all getting a bit heavy and
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“Oh I think this is my call, love
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Told myself I’d give him a week a
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when he gives me one in return that
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said. Okay, a lot later than I said
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“You’re not dumb, pet. Anything
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like he’s waiting for his cue. Ri
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“Is that right, pet?” “Uh huh
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there’s only one thing left to do
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He just nods and then his hands are
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would say I was evil, and they’d
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ack and laying small kisses across
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moment to retrieve some lube from t
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time round.” He’s shaking now,
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“Hmmm, fun with fruit. We can do
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heat. We’ll see what the morning
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Frankenstein and create my own litt
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I lick my lips and give him my very
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need to change the subject. So, wha
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enigmatic. More difficult to read.
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“See, pet. That’s what you want
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“I really am sorry. I liked heari
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Ascension. Apparently, it’s quite
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the demon community he really is -
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He ducks a swipe to the head and da
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slowly, watching for the moment, wa
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Another boy in the neighbourhood Ci
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“Hmm, not sure what you mean….
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travelled.” He stands there for a
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and so very far away - eyes glazed,
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collapses in a heap on the mattress
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just come off a big battle. The adr
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“Okay, I just wondered. You’ve
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15 Ticket to Ride It’s been three
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“Xander, are you sure about drivi
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“So, you’re all tooled up. You
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an unemployed librarian. I know he
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“Okay, Buff. You’d better go. T
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there? Not like you could see me in
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doing. If I’d left two weeks ago,
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and I didn’t imagine driving acro
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Didn’t get it back for a month.
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him. “Could be the answer to your
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“And, I so didn’t need to know
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paper bag in the glove box. Help yo
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he’s got that deer in the headlig
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the right page and starts to trace
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started the whole stupid plan. His
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I’m not going to exchange one set
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sacred? You mucked around with my c
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telling them, but they wouldn’t u
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you coming, or do I have to drive t
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1 Catch me if you Can “Come on pe
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don’t see why you have to go to L
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old. He’s breathing hard and I be
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one, two. I grab hold of his shirt
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park and I’ll have a whole day to
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something more than food, and oh bo
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something big and impressive, go se
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one day and you’re worse than Wil
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go any further. So we make a deal a
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here and see what’s going on in t
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moment and then back towards me.
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differently, back then. Then I met
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But then I think back on all our ti
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stops to take a breath and I take m
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move away. “Right, love. I get it
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version of the Bronze - lots of awk
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and plaster myself against his fron
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their own thing, yeah? That’s the
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and start to haul down my zip with
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was a bad idea, but he’s a big la
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I stand in the shadows watching as
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lood rushing under smooth tanned sk
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unner. I know my boy, he’s not go
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He sticks his hands deep into his p
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anything to do with who you really
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“I know.” He moves away from th
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carry on and go to Yellowstone, or
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when there’s no one to talk to an
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the fuck I’m going to say if he w
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quickly at the small window and it
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don’t look at me like that, I’m
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head. Don’t want to mess the hair
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“I know. Fuck it and jump, isn’
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even enjoy it.” “You really are
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“It would help, love. It’s a lo
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me doing this. So that I’m not ju
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while, and you can drive then. In t
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Well that went better than I though
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Fuck it, now I feel like I’ve bee
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hyperventilate and I didn’t know
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Angelus looked like when he was you
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duster feels hot and heavy on my sh
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Leather caressing his skin as I pul
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the rain forest that never see the
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“Xan, love, you’re a Sci-Fi fan
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Peaches and he wouldn’t come back
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open window and carefully pull back
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“Spike? That you?” “You think
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his eyes are burning into my back a
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“These are my keys. The keys to m
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could arrested for that. What are y
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the crazy guy, but that’s okay.
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paper. “Umm, nine.” “How many
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to make up your mind. But I need yo
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He really is a shrewd little bugger
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“I still haven’t learned how to
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last dance? Aren’t you scared I
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as we kiss, and I stand here and th
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“Suppose me asking undermines the
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and it’s like the moment is just
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strong back. I can feel the muscles
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That’s my boy. Going to let him f
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get a $10 tour, complementary stree
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I have to keep reminding myself tha
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so I know I’m doing the right thi
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Sunnydale legs again. I’ve had lo
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dark times in my life, faced some s
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happen. I don’t know if I really
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2 Foundations My boy’s such a tre
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I slide out from the shadows and sl
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He’s trying for confident, but th
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love. Create your own normal. It’
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“Yes, Obi Wan.” “Git.” “S
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me inside out. Like being reborn. L
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you’ll tell me what cards I’ve
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could be getting right down to the
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against his thigh and suddenly I’
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“’Course I want to, love. Just
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stares and nods and tilts his head
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seeing him with a new depth, like h
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“I know, I’ll remember.” He t
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I give Spike a quick peck on the ch
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“That’s it, thank you.” He ta
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information, we might be able to sh
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he doesn’t dwell on it, yet. “W
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to say.” All at once there’s a
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I’m trying to say, is that the gu
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cup and sip at the remains of the t
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party, but you were bound to find o
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“Evil, pet. Very, very evil. I th
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then again I really didn’t know w
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himself. I notice there’s no ment
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“I must say, Xander, whatever els
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I can see the ‘Watcher’ in Rupe
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little git! I should put you over m
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ability to interpret Buffy speak. I
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on the end of the bed. “Right, lo
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“Oh, I don’t know, pet. The tho
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pool cue in public, I think I could
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crowd and, as he turns his back, I
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e had.” As she speaks, her eyes s
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to call me. “Xander’s a friend
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to my boy chatter. He’s reminding
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desperately at my jeans. “Oh, shi
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wouldn’t let me have one.” I ju
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“You’ll just have to wait and s
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the truth and that’s what we told
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he make a nice lead, so he can drag
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And I don’t know what to do.” I
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“Yeah, well, this pod person real
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know I’ll always be there, if I
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panicking here. I’m calm as a cal
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look at the duster and head out int
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“Nice to see you in the sun, pet.
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“Sssh, love. I know what you mean
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We walk down toward the beach and a
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has to have something to do with th
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and forth, teasing and touching. Th
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own way, but not like this. Nowhere
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“Don’t know, at the moment. But
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Probably means he’s at Willy’s
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would be appreciated. I’ve been a
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also going to say that you can’t
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“See, you’re doing it again. Yo
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She does as she’s told and takes
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day. I’m just starting to debate
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take it out of her hand, I get a pr
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was so dangerous.” She’s shakin
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The gang have tried to help. Giles
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glad I got to feel that way, but I
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point. If I wasn’t on the receivi
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ear to the ground a bit more. Lesso
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going to get and headed for home. I
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case I was followed.” He just sta
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“Eventually, away from the Hellmo
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jaw set and I realise he’s not go
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“Spike? What just happened?” I
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when I popped up at the frat house.
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“So that’s just it then, is it?
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doesn’t know I’ve got them and
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can. “I’ve got to go out for a
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his head. And if that wasn’t enou
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they had the research sitch covered
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There’s a click in the darkness a
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and smile weakly and hope to god I
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only thing that could breach the sp
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13 Static I’ve been in some stran
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isn’t nearly as dense as she pret
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something to think about when you
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“I would have thought it was obvi
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“Well this chip is a serious bit
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meantime, Buffy, I suggest that you
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“Xander?” He stops and turns ba
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Was too focused on the gossip that
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“Xander!” “Let me see! And do
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“As crystal, pet. And I am not sc
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ack. “Slayer?” “Spike. I’m
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into the soldier boys, tonight. The
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occupied with sorting out Willow at
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about letting all the ‘bright and
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the things that go bump in the nigh
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his hand on my arm, stroking gently
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nice to see her smile because I kno
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efore, but the temperature is risin
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for a little soldier baiting. “Ye
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concentrate. Did you ever hear Dr W
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He takes one long stride forward, j
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let him go alone, because I’m dam
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it of a scrap brewing tomorrow, and
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Ouch! “Don’t know what you mean
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The whole motley crew are waiting a
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It’s a clear evening and it doesn
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ight, though there’s no way I’d
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ook, but from his tone I bet he’d
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completely lost. If the farm boy do
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you said you didn’t know anything
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“Okay, okay. I didn’t lie, not
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you just don’t get it. You come i
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ammunition to go with it. And no fu
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the back of his duster where he’s
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‘secret ops, maybe ally’, ‘ha
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doesn’t like it and I can imagine
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never seen so many species of demon
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and checking our timetable. “Five
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he senses someone’s there. Gradua
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himself up at the full moon. You ca
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the outside door and then turns bac
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we’ll come back and blow the fuck
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mind some of those little marshmall
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“Take a look, Slayer. Picked us u
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he’s used up his quota of words f
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are in the cabinet by the bath.”
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piece of paper. “Xander found thi
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in between was a good thing or not.
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“In case it’d slipped your mind
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He looks like he’s sick to his st
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shaking around here. Bet I could be
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That’s it, fighting cock to road
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into your little chickies, defendin
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town?” All eyes slide away from m
Page 681 and 682:
“Ah well, that might be a bit of
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ow and you help a mate out in retur
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“Yeah, well, good luck with that.
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of the others, so I’m assuming th
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different plans, but there’s a ha
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astard in on the action it’s beco
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a battered piece of bakelite. He tu
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wouldn’t work. Can’t exactly go
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crawl. I glance across the room and
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of and I believe that you have the
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And what will I get in return for t
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I really hate the way the bastard i
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From what I gathered from the whole
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me as he steps into the centre of t
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have to, I know where my focus is.
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Ethan, needle the pissed off Slayer
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“Got to hand it to you Buff, you
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magic stuff and playing nice with t
Page 717 and 718:
“It’s not like that, Willow. Sp
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I can see Spike start to puff up at
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pace, muttering agitatedly under he
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ecause we disagree doesn’t make e
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she shakes her head again. And then
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I try to put the events of the last
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“Yeah, well, I just wish I was pr
Page 731 and 732:
He turns his head and grins at me a
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as he slides off his precarious per
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knows what I’m thinking and all o
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wouldn’t look out of place on Liz
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isn’t. But turning off Spike’s
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23 Breadcrumbs Right then, time to
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smoking, so I suppose it’s time t
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“Your candour pleases me. Perhaps
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“Right then, tomorrow night it is
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~*~*~*~*~ I don’t think I ever re
Page 751 and 752:
front door.” He grimaces at the a
Page 753 and 754:
find her? Are things okay? Is she m
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there.” “What do you mean, Gile
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something Hellmouthy?” Giles sigh
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known each other - Willow not getti
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for a moment and then turns back to
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Hellmouth weirdness and then watch
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Christ, I feel like we’ve been he
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know what he’s planning, apart fr
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You’ll go down fighting and he’
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paralyse.” “So, no problem. All
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ask. He finishes his inspection and
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and mirrors. “Besides, there’s
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He grins at me, but there’s an ed
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in. There’s another sigh and it
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edistribute most of the booty in va
Page 783 and 784:
operations. This is where Spike was
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“Sure, Giles. Good luck guys.”
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someone played God with me. “Spik
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“I think I’m beginning to get t
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~*~*~*~*~ The candles flicker as Wi
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I’m screaming in my head, shoutin
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26 Ariadne's Thread “Spike! Come
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Oz.” I can feel his breath, warm
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He sounds almost apologetic, like h
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“Right then, last time we played
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name, trying to call her back. It
Page 805 and 806:
me on that one.” I grin at him an
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“I’ll always come, love.” Now
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leaving it alone for now as she tur
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chance to argue?” He grins at me
Page 813 and 814:
even more out of hand. “We’ve g
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I realise I must have been standing
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we’re not all basket cases by now
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contrition. “No, sir. Sorry, sir.
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Giles, I’ve been called a lot of
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stop sniping at each other, but I k
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concentrated on Spike and Giles jus
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eacting to his human side, but at t
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know I have to seize the moment and
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not me. I need to get away and do s
Page 833 and 834:
what did you see?” The smile has
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was in my head as well, she knows h
Page 837 and 838:
tugs again at my hand, I take one l
Page 839 and 840:
notice he’s paying to his surroun
Page 841 and 842:
didn’t mean to get all serious. T
Page 843 and 844:
sounds he’s making, feeling every
Page 845 and 846:
minutes ago.” He snorts and I loo
Page 847 and 848:
She’s eyeing us both sternly and
Page 849 and 850:
didn’t think of it immediately, b
Page 851 and 852:
“I think it’s a trifle late for
Page 853 and 854:
There’s nothing more to be said a
Page 855 and 856:
pressed up against his chest and fo
Page 857 and 858:
“And you’re really worried abou
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He slides his hands slowly up my ba
Page 861 and 862:
y Sparrow2000 Perceptions 'verse fi
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Everybody laughed when I told them
Page 865 and 866:
The End Watching Paint Dry by Sparr
Page 867 and 868:
“Nefarious plan?” Bloody cheek.
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when he was narked at the little ga
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“Yeah.” “So there’s a bit o
Page 873 and 874:
thighs. “Sssh, love. Let me play
Page 875 and 876:
very alive. Making me part of his w
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Perceptions!verse - Spander Files

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