Perceptions!verse - Spander Files

collapses in a heap on the mattress. The laughter seems
to fill the room, sending the candlelight flickering,
lighting dark corners and sending things crawling back
into their holes. I’m so focused on watching the scene
that for a moment I don’t realise that the sound has
begun to change and the darkness pushes back. The joy
has morphed into something harsher – hiccups, mingled
with sharp breaths and small disjointed sounds of pain. I
sink down beside him and take hold of one of his hands,
and he tries to curl away from me, hiding his distress. But
my grip is strong and I hold on, trying to anchor him
through this unexpected storm.
“Didn’t mean to upset you, pet. Thought you were
bloody marvellous.” He just shakes his head and I’m not
sure if it’s a gesture of disbelief, or a clue that I’m barking
up the wrong tree. “What’s wrong, love? Tell Spike. You
know you can tell me.” I can feel the pressure, where his
nails are digging into my hand, but I don’t let go and I
start to rub circles across his back with the other;
soothing the child who, so suddenly, seems to have reemerged.
His voice is low and rough with tears and I have to strain
to hear the words. “Not you. Me. I saw them die. Larry
and his team mates. They tried to help and I let them die.