SLO LIFE Oct/Nov 2020

infrastructure to try new things and test them in the market, so it’s always a
foreshadowing of things to come when they toy with new trends and find profits in
their gambles. AB InBev has said that within five years their portfolio will be twenty
percent low- and non-alcohol beverages. Even Molson Coors, the fifth largest brewing
concern in the world, has taken this challenge head on, as evidenced by their name
change from Molson Coors Brewing Company to Molson Coors Beverage Company.
I mean, that’s actually a pretty huge shift to change your business model, let alone your
name. You’ll be seeing their flavored seltzer water with probiotics, and diet sodas with
ingredients like yuzu and bourbon vanilla. What is going on here?! Those are fruits
that go in my IPA and adjuncts for my Imperial Stouts. Has the world gone mad?
Although it does look like they made a Dr. Pepper knockoff called Surgeon General,
which is bold. I like to laugh; it keeps me from crying about the shelf space lost.
Speaking of shelf space, there’s some skinny buggers that have been squeaking onto the
shelves for the past year and knocking down everything in the way. Malt liquor. Well,
technically malt-based beverages, because it’s not brown and poured out of a
forty-ounce bottle but instead clear, in slim cans, and with hints of fruity essences.
Hard seltzers are squeezing the competition with their perception as a low calorie, low
ABV alternative to beer. And maybe, in this era of La Croix fandom and treat-yo-self
wellness routines, it hit the cultural timing perfectly to carve out a niche that sent the
large manufacturers scrambling for a piece of the pie. Just ask the maker of the second
best-selling seltzer brand Truly—Sam Adams Beer Company. Ole Sam’s at it again.
If you really want to get into the weeds with me, I think it has more to do with a tax
loophole allowing brewers to maximize their profits and reduce costs associated with
brewing or high-priced hops purchases, since both malt- and sugar-based hard seltzers
are considered “beer,” but only malt-based hard seltzers are also considered “malt
beverages.” This means that federal beer rules (27 CFR Part 25) apply to both malt-
and sugar-based hard seltzers, but federal malt beverage
labeling and advertising rules (27 CFR Part 7) apply only to
malt-based hard seltzers. Water plus malt or cane sugar plus
fruit flavor equal profits!
Whatever the trend may be, I guess being spoiled for choice
isn’t the worst thing in the world. The craft beer industry
had years of the fashion industry business model of having
new trends and fads for the season, with whatever was new
becoming the must-have of the time. Chasing those hype
beers and hopped freshies was
exhausting but also exhilarating.
I guess the beverage industry
wants to keep us running, and
maybe they just want us to be in
better shape and with good gut
health, but maybe they’re also
just giving the people what they
want. Whatever it may be I just
have one last gripe: stop making
the cans skinny. It doesn’t make
us skinny and they don’t fit our
koozies. Rant over. Whatever
flavor or ABV fluid you put in
your mouth, raise one up, and this
time we can say it with sincerity—
To your health! SLO LIFE
BRANT MYERS is a beer
industry veteran and
founder of SLO BIIIG, a
hospitality consulting firm.
94 | SLO LIFE MAGAZINE | OCT/NOV 2020