infrastructure to try new things and test them in the market, so it’s always a foreshadowing of things to come when they toy with new trends and find profits in their gambles. AB InBev has said that within five years their portfolio will be twenty percent low- and non-alcohol beverages. Even Molson Coors, the fifth largest brewing concern in the world, has taken this challenge head on, as evidenced by their name change from Molson Coors Brewing Company to Molson Coors Beverage Company. I mean, that’s actually a pretty huge shift to change your business model, let alone your name. You’ll be seeing their flavored seltzer water with probiotics, and diet sodas with ingredients like yuzu and bourbon vanilla. What is going on here?! Those are fruits that go in my IPA and adjuncts for my Imperial Stouts. Has the world gone mad? Although it does look like they made a Dr. Pepper knockoff called Surgeon General, which is bold. I like to laugh; it keeps me from crying about the shelf space lost. Speaking of shelf space, there’s some skinny buggers that have been squeaking onto the shelves for the past year and knocking down everything in the way. Malt liquor. Well, technically malt-based beverages, because it’s not brown and poured out of a forty-ounce bottle but instead clear, in slim cans, and with hints of fruity essences. Hard seltzers are squeezing the competition with their perception as a low calorie, low ABV alternative to beer. And maybe, in this era of La Croix fandom and treat-yo-self wellness routines, it hit the cultural timing perfectly to carve out a niche that sent the large manufacturers scrambling for a piece of the pie. Just ask the maker of the second best-selling seltzer brand Truly—Sam Adams Beer Company. Ole Sam’s at it again. If you really want to get into the weeds with me, I think it has more to do with a tax loophole allowing brewers to maximize their profits and reduce costs associated with brewing or high-priced hops purchases, since both malt- and sugar-based hard seltzers are considered “beer,” but only malt-based hard seltzers are also considered “malt beverages.” This means that federal beer rules (27 CFR Part 25) apply to both malt- and sugar-based hard seltzers, but federal malt beverage labeling and advertising rules (27 CFR Part 7) apply only to malt-based hard seltzers. Water plus malt or cane sugar plus fruit flavor equal profits! Whatever the trend may be, I guess being spoiled for choice isn’t the worst thing in the world. The craft beer industry had years of the fashion industry business model of having new trends and fads for the season, with whatever was new becoming the must-have of the time. Chasing those hype beers and hopped freshies was exhausting but also exhilarating. I guess the beverage industry wants to keep us running, and maybe they just want us to be in better shape and with good gut health, but maybe they’re also just giving the people what they want. Whatever it may be I just have one last gripe: stop making the cans skinny. It doesn’t make us skinny and they don’t fit our koozies. Rant over. Whatever flavor or ABV fluid you put in your mouth, raise one up, and this time we can say it with sincerity— To your health! <strong>SLO</strong> <strong>LIFE</strong> BRANT MYERS is a beer industry veteran and founder of <strong>SLO</strong> BIIIG, a hospitality consulting firm. 94 | <strong>SLO</strong> <strong>LIFE</strong> MAGAZINE | OCT/NOV <strong>2020</strong>
CONSUMED A PODCAST Join <strong>SLO</strong> Life food columnist Jaime Lewis for candid conversations about life and flavor with area eaters, drinkers, thinkers & makers. SPOTIFY APPLE PODCASTS LETSGETCONSUMED.COM OCT/NOV <strong>2020</strong> | <strong>SLO</strong> <strong>LIFE</strong> MAGAZINE | 95
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