NG3 March/April 2021
Local business directory and community magazine
Local business directory and community magazine
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Top Tips<br />
Soft Hands<br />
To make hands smooth put a tbsp of caster sugar or table<br />
salt in palm of hand, add a tbsp of olive oil or any oil and<br />
rub hands together for a couple of minutes. Then rinse.<br />
Mrs Briggs<br />
Password Hint<br />
Change your password to ‘incorrect’ then when you forget<br />
it you will get the message ‘your password is incorrect’ as<br />
a reminder!<br />
J Fletcher<br />
Un-Scratch Your Plates<br />
To make scratches disappear on plates make a paste with<br />
baking soda and water, buff it into the scratches and then<br />
rinse away!<br />
B Grace<br />
TopJokes<br />
Today at the bank a lady asked me to check her balance.<br />
So I pushed her over!<br />
C Loki<br />
What is a cat’s favourite colour?<br />
Purrr-ple!<br />
E White<br />
What do you call a fly with no wings?<br />
A walk!<br />
M Cort-McKen<br />
What do you call a fly with no wings and legs?<br />
A raisin!<br />
M Cort-McKen<br />
Cat’s<br />
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t take a bath?<br />
Stinkerbell!<br />
D Sansom<br />
Crackers<br />
Sparkling Keys<br />
You can use a toothbrush and a 50:50 solution of white vinegar<br />
and water to clean and disinfect your computer keyboard. Make<br />
sure to shake excess water off the toothbrush before scrubbing.<br />
A Gilbert<br />
Steam Clean<br />
To steam clean your microwave and avoid scrubbing put a bowl<br />
of hot water inside and set the microwave to 5 minutes.<br />
G Torvill<br />
Fresh Hands<br />
After chopping garlic, rub your hands in a steel sink to get rid of<br />
the garlic smell.<br />
J Singh<br />
Why did Luke Skywalker know what his Dad, Darth<br />
Vadar got him for Christmas?<br />
Because he felt his presence!<br />
M Cort-McKen<br />
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.<br />
I lost my case!<br />
H Green<br />
What did the traffic light say to the car?<br />
Don’t look I’m about to change!<br />
P Sutton<br />
What do you call a wig on the floor?<br />
Off it’s head!<br />
N Fletcher<br />
WINNING<br />
ENTRY<br />
Mould Buster<br />
Fight mould with tea tree oil<br />
and vinegar -fill a spray bottle<br />
with white vinegar and a few<br />
drops of tea tree oil. Spray<br />
onto affected area and leave<br />
30 minutes, then scrub off with<br />
a cloth and warm water.<br />
J Singh<br />
What’s the best way to avoid touching your face?<br />
A glass of wine in each hand!<br />
J Fletcher<br />
WIN A £20 ONE 4 ALL VOUCHER<br />
Send your top tip or joke for inclusion in the next mag.<br />
The best one will win a £20 One 4 All voucher!!<br />
Please email your entries to cat@ngmagazines.org.uk<br />
and include your name, address & tel no.
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