NG3 March/April 2021

“Then put your warm little hand in mine,
There ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb
Babe, I got you babe”...Groundhog Day, or that’s
how it feels to be back in lockdown again.
When I wrote my first lockdown article, I said I
hoped that by the time it had gone to print, we
would be back to “normal”. Sadly, that didn’t quite
pan out. Here’s my latest lockdown update…
Uni-boy is back. Again. Back in his old room (pig
sty), rent free. Not that I’m bitter. I love the mess.
The wet towels on his bedroom floor. The sodden
bathmat that never gets hung up to dry. The crumbs
that litter the kitchen floor directly under the treat
cupboard that he, allegedly, never goes in. The
endless yogurt pot scraping.
At least now he has learnt to cook and pretty
much feeds himself. Just after he moved back
in, there was a shout from the kitchen and I went
rushing in – what’s up? “I’ve left my Bircher pot
in Loughborough.” There was silence while we
processed this remark and he realised how poncey
he sounded. Wow Uni-boy, you’ve changed. What’s
wrong with Crunchy Nut cornflakes?
Youngest son is trying to get a part time job (about
time). He gets notifications from Indeed and when
reading one, he commented on the pay being really
good. Really Frankie? What makes you think that?
“Well, it says sick pay”. Not sure the world of work
is ready for him yet!
Previously, I moaned about Zoom chats and my
total incompetence at using this technology. Well,
fast forward a year and get me, doing online fitness
classes, having pub nights and even giving virtual
Lockdown
Three Tale
presentations. I totally miss the gym, but there are
some advantages of keeping fit in your bedroom.
When you have to drop to the floor for press ups,
if you position the camera at the right angle, you
can sneak a few crisps and have a quick breather
incognito. So I’ve heard anyway…
During lockdown no.1 I shared the horrific images
of my old dog, Harry looking embarrassed – half
clipped, half dreadlocked. Well, things have
improved on that front. We now have a proper
grooming kit. In fact, Harry now has the smartest
haircut in the whole house. Luckily, we can all wear
woolly hats for at least another month or so.
One good thing to have emerged from being locked
down again – I have become house proud. Yes
indeed. Whilst eating crisps on the floor during a
HIIT class, a large cloud of dog fur wafted past my
nose. Enough was enough. I grabbed my cleaning
caddy (yes, I do have one) and started from the top
floor, working my way down. No room remained
untouched. And the weird bit…I ENJOYED IT!!!!
Although the house has benefitted from lockdown,
my appearance has taken a further nose dive, if
that were even possible. Dog walking clothes have
become the new black. Hair gets washed once a
week – surely that will stop the colour fading so
quickly won’t it?? If I am really pushing the boat out,
I will put my best Christmas PJ’s on for the weekend
and float around my gleaming house smugly
sipping prosecco. You’ve got to get your kicks
somehow, right?
Lockdown, you have a lot to answer for.
© Ali Wale