Siouxland Magazine - Volume 3 Issue 3

Inspire
Lessons learned from stories in our community.
Rachelle Rawson and family
Vulnerability Is Key To Building Relationships
By Michelle Lessmann
Many young people in Siouxland grow up in
something other than fairytale conditions. Some
of them are frequently hungry or live in homes with
absent parents; others live in households with domestic
violence and are looking for a safe place to go or are a
combination of these. These children are considered “atrisk”
youth, which means they are less likely to transition
into adulthood or reach their full potential successfully.
Rachelle Rawson works with many of our at-risk youth
through Siouxland Youth for Christ, the Crittenton
Center, Juvenile Detention, and the Rosecrance Jackson
Center in Sioux City. Rachelle describes herself as a
“crazy, people-loving nerd,” and anybody who knows
her can attest to that proclamation. Rachelle’s official
title is Juvenile Justice Ministry Director at Siouxland
Youth for Christ. She is willing to be vulnerable, honest,
and “messy” as she opens herself up to the youth she
works with. She also operates a neighborhood teen
center called City Life, where kids can hang out, have a
family-style sit-down dinner and play games, then do a
character-building lesson.
Brené Brown inspired the theme for this month’s
magazine. She says that it is important for us to
allow ourselves to be vulnerable because you
“cannot selectively numb emotions . . . you can’t
numb hard feelings without numbing the other
affects and emotions – joy, gratitude, happiness,
etc.” What are your thoughts on this? Have you
found it true in your life?
It has been true in my life. I have discovered that I would
rather let people in and get hurt than have the absence
of any emotions, which I believe would be far worse than
feeling vulnerable. To make connections and build rapport,
I need to show vulnerability with the youth I work with and
let them know that life is hard and that good came from
their struggles. I tell them that I was in foster care, too, and I
know what it is like to feel rejected and unloved. I tell them
about all the holes in my heart and that I felt extremely
lonely. Then I tell them that I am well and explain what
worked to get me well.
She also said, “I did not learn about vulnerability
and courage and creativity and innovation from
studying vulnerability. I learned about these things
from studying shame.” What relationship do you
think shame and vulnerability have?
They are absolutely tied together. Shame is a lie, and when
we believe that lie, we are more open to the false narrative
that we need to keep our past hidden from others. When
we feel shame for something in our past, we want to keep
what happened in the darkness and not bring it to the
light to share it with others to help them. But when we flip