Ashburton Courier: September 16, 2021

www.ashburtoncourier.co.nz
Remembrance time
The death of alovedone is
unwelcome but certain to come
at somepoint in our life,former
Ashburtonian Trish
Summerfield says.
It’s atopic people often do not
like to talk aboutand may even
avoid so whenwethey find
themselves in such asituation, it
can make them feel ill­equipped
to move through it.
Ms Summerfield is aformer
Canterbury teacherwho has
spent thepast 23 yearsliving in
Saigon,Vietnam. She is a
volunteer trainer for an Inner
Space Centre teaching selfempowermentskills
and
meditation.
Shehas volunteeredina
programme to strengthen selfesteem
and empowerment for
young people in recovery from
drugs,and workedintelevision
and also wrote aseries of over
200 programmes on life skills
and values educationfor youth
and parents.
‘‘Understanding(death) and
understanding how we can make
it the best that it can be,
enormouslyhelps us, our
children, our family, the
atmosphere in the family and
also the one that has passed on
themselves,’’ she said.
While many people may have
their ownwisdom on how bestto
respond, Ms Summerfield said
physical events impact on the
mindandbody and can cause
health issues.
‘‘When we hear very difficult
news, we can tendhold the
emotions we feel at that timein
our body. It is importantto
becomeaware of this, release
theseemotionsand relax our
muscles so that it does notbuild
up into painand long­term
muscleknotting along with other
negative health consequences,’’
she said.
Acknowledgingadeath,
accepting the losshowever
painful, and honouringthe life
lost were amongsomeofthe
processes to undertake.
Although thepassing is an
unwanted event, Ms
Summerfield encouragedpeople
to take afew minutes to sit, take
someslow deep measured
breaths,and acknowledge that
the passing of aloved one is
incredibly challenging timeand
can cause the bottling or holding
of emotions.
‘‘Acceptance doesnot mean
that Iagreewith what has
happened. No, Ideeply wishthis
person was still with me
Trish Summerfield
physically,yet acceptance
meansthat Iacknowledgethe
realitythat they havepassed on,
and not to spend energy and
thoughts in fighting whathas
alreadyhappened andwhat is
beyond my control,’’ she said.
‘‘Acceptance allows me to use
my energyconstructively to
make thevery bestofthis
difficult time.’’
Honouringalife andthe
contribution made to ones life
can take many forms, Ms
Summerfield said.
‘‘Somemonths before my
father passedon, Iwrote to him
on the occasionof“Father’s
Day” and shared many storiesof
things he haddonewhile Iwas
growingupand howIlearnedso
many positive lessons fromhis
generosity, courage,
determination etc. that Ihave
carriedforward into my life.
‘‘Ittouchedhim deeply. My
siblings at that timewere also
touched by the letter.After he
passed on severalof themwrote
touching cards and others
sharedbeautifulstories of how
he had inspiredthem and so his
life wastrulyhonoured in a
beautiful way.’’
Thethoughts of people were
amazing things, not limited to
space or time, shesaid.
‘‘We have all had the
experienceofthinking about
someoneclose to us whowas far
away physically and then that
person callingus or writing to us
ashorttime later.And,webegin
the conversation by saying,“I
was just thinking of you!”
‘‘Thisisthe power of our
thoughts andtheir vibrations to
connect withthose close to us.
Understandingand knowing the
power of thoughts, especially
those withlove and
appreciation, will reach them
and help ease theirjourney and
as aremembrancedealing with
grief.’’
NEWS
Ashburton Courier, September 16, 2021
37
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