Island Parent Magazine Oct-Nov 2021

oCt/NoV 2021 

FRee CoPY 

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 34 Years 

Mixing Neurodiverse 

with Neurotypical 

Family & Friends 

A Weekend Away 

Top 5 fall activities for 

families in Whistler 

6 Simple Strategies 

to Handle Stress 

INSIDE!

2 Island Parent Magazine IslandParent.ca

IslandParent.ca 

October/November 2021 3

OCT/NOV 2021 

FREE COPY 


taBleofCoNteNts 

10 

6 simple strategies 

to Handle stress 

How to transform our emotions, 

choose our responses wisely 

and stay present. 

LINDSAY COULTER 

12 




the ways of being and 

different needs of families 

with typical and diverse kids. 

YVONNE BLOMER 

16 

Money Matters 

the importance of 

equipping our kids with 

fi nancial know-how. 

SUSAN GNUCCI 

32 

top 5 Fall activities 

for Families in whister 

ways to take in the season 

on a weekend away. 

TANIA SEAR 

in Every 

issue 

5 

Fast Forward 

SUE FAST 

6 

Need to Know 

14 

Moms’ PoV 

SERENA BECK 

26 

dadspeak 

GREG PRATT 

28 

Family Calendar 

30 

what’s for dinner 

EMILLIE PARRISH 

17 

special Feature: 

22 

3 Questions 

asking questions 

without interrogating 

your ’tweens and teens. 

KELLY CLEEVE 

24 

How social Media 

affects teen sleep 

a look at how late-night social 

media use impacts sleep. 

18 

the Pursuit of 

their own Normal 

Helping your kids become the 

experts on their own ‘normal.’ 

JENIFER GIBSON 

20 

Raising a worker 

the multiple payoffs 

of work experience. 

GINA SAFRANYIK 

34 

Kids’ Reads 

CHRISTINE VAN STARKENBURG 

34 

Businesses You 

Need to Know 

36 

Preschool & 

Child Care directory 

38 

Cut It out! 

ALLISON REES 

on the 

Cover 

Isla M (8) 

Photo by 

Sarah Jane Photography 

sarahjanem 

photography.com 

IG: sarah_janepics 




A Weekend Away 

Top 5 fall activities for 

families in Whistler 

Simple Strategies 

6 to Handle Stress 

INSIDE! 

Jim Schneider Publisher publisher@islandparent.ca 

Sue Fast Editor editor@islandparent.ca 

Kristine Wickheim account Manager kristine@islandparent.ca 

RaeLeigh Buchanan account Manager raeleigh@islandparent.ca 

Island Parent Magazine, published by island Parent Group Enterprises ltd., is a 

bimonthly publication that honours and supports parents by providing information on 

resources and businesses for Vancouver island families. Views expressed are not 

necessarily those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without 

the permission of the publisher. island Parent is distributed free in selected areas. 

annual mail subscriptions (7 issues) are available for $21 (Gst included). 

Canadian Publication Mail Product sales agreement 40051398. ISSN 0838-5505. 

Island Parent Magazine 

250-388-6905 islandparent.ca 

518 Caselton Place, Victoria, BC V8Z 7Y5 

A proud member of 

BC 


Fastforward 

How Parenting Needs to Change 

During the ’Tweens & Teens 

By the time our kids reach their 

teens, many of them will be 

ready—or almost ready—to fire us 

as their decision makers and take control 

of their own lives. And we should be willing 

to step aside. 

According to neuropsychologist William 

Stixrud and long-time educator 

Ned Johnson, authors of The Self-Driven 

Child, if we are too controlling, we invite 

rebellion. Set harsh rules and our ’tweens 

and teens are bound to break ’em. Cut 

them some slack—without abandoning 

the word ‘no’ or your family’s most 

important rules—and watch them rise to 

the challenge. 

Involve ’tweens and teens more in 

creating the rules, advise Stixrud and 

Johnson, and then let them make their 

own decisions—which they are going to 

do anyway. 

“Letting our kids become the primary 

decision makers does not mean that we 

become permissive, indulgent, or disengaged,” 

writes Christine Carter, author 

of The New Adolescence: Raising Happy 

and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety 

and Distraction. “It does mean that 

the quality—if not the quantity—of our 

support shifts. We give up our role as 

their chief of staff and become more like 

life coaches. We ask questions and provide 

emotional support.” 

To that end, we hope this issue helps 

you strike a balance between your roles 

as chief of staff and life coach. You’ll find 

articles on topics ranging from six simple 

strategies to help you handle stress, the 

challenges of mixing neurodiverse with 

neurotypical family and friends, and pandemic 

burnout, to positive body image, 

the importance of equipping our kids 

with financial know-how, and the top 5 

activities for a family weekend away in 

Whistler. 

Check out our special section, ’Tweens 

& Teens, starting on page 17. In this 

8-page pull-out, you’ll find articles on 

topics ranging from asking questions 

without interrogating, helping our youth 

increase their ‘body literacy,’ and accepting 

and supporting our child’s gender 

identity, to the importance of work experience, 

and ways social media affects teen 

sleep. 

No matter what stage of parenting 

you’re at—a chief of staff with toddlers 

or a life coach with ’tweens and teens— 

may you enjoy this stage to its fullest and 

find balance between hanging on and 

letting go. 

– Sue Fast 

Skate where the 

Victoria Royals play! 

Public skating and lessons are back this fall 

at the Save-On-Foods Memorial Centre. 

> Choose group or private lessons 

> Skate and helmet rentals are available 

View the schedule and register: victoria.ca/arena 



NeedtoKnow 

Fans of Monty Python, Mr. Bean and Dr. Seuss... 

Grab your Teacups! 

British comedians James & Jamesy bring their unique 

brand of hilarity back to Vancouver Island in their theatrical 

holiday classic O Christmas Tea: A British Comedy. 

The spectacle brings people together much like a panto, 

with interactive elements, yet James & Jamesy’s physical 

comedy and chemistry provide the real magic of this 

play. These 3-time London Impresario Award winners are 

on Island from November 17–21 in Courtenay, Duncan, 

Sidney and Nanaimo, and returning Dec 19 for two final 

shows at Victoria’s Royal Theatre. 

jamesandjamesy.com 

The Great Canadian Hike 

The second annual Great Canadian Hike, running until October 31, is 

a national challenge that encourages people to get out into nature 

and embrace their local trails in the company of friends, family and 

fellow Canadians. This year, Trans Canada Trail (TCT) invites Canadians 

to disconnect from screens and reconnect with nature and to one 

another, by collectively spending 28,000 hours on Canada’s 28,000 

km national trail. Whether you hike, walk, run, skip, paddle, roll, stroll 

or bike, the Great Canadian Hike is the perfect antidote to the social 

isolation brought on by COVID-19. Last year, over 10,000 Canadians 

collectively hiked the length of the Trans Canada Trail and amassed a 

combined distance of 108,000 km—equivalent to almost three times 

the earth’s circumference! 

For details on how to join the Great Canadian Hike, 

visit the site at GreatCanadianHike.ca. 

The Maritime Museum’s 

New Digs 

The Maritime Museum of BC is open at its new location at 

744 Douglas Street. The new space features a model display 

that will include returning favourites from the exhibits at 

the previous location, as well as some new models that will 

come out from storage to be on display for the first time in 

years. There will also be rotating featured exhibits that will 

change out 2 to 3 times a year. The first featured exhibit will 

be the exhibit titled SS Valencia: “A Theatre of Horror.” This 

exhibit will run into the fall before a new featured exhibit is 

installed. There will be a new interactive exhibit space where 

visitors can enjoy hands on exhibits and learn directly from 

Museum staff and volunteers. 

mmbc.bc.ca 


Science in 

the Park 

Live It Earth 

Live It Earth focuses on making 

learning fun by delivering programs 

that are designed to spark conversations 

and inspire deeper learning. 

The new tech startup has been nominated 

as a finalist for 2021 Company 

of the Year—Startup, by the 

BC Tech Association. Live it Earth 

is a subscription-based educational 

series that connects kids to the real 

and natural world. It offers a full 

series of programs throughout the 

school year that are cross-curricular, 

inquiry-based and showcase a different 

topic each month. The new season 

line-up includes: Farming/Food 

(Oct), Narwhals (Nov), Space (Jan), 

Dinosaurs (Feb), Bees (Apr), Climate 

Change (May), and Oceans (June). 

Programs are bilingual and include 

indigenous worldviews, STEAM 

and more. 

liveit.earth 

3045–C Douglas St. 

Victoria, BC 

The Kiddies Store 

Dedicated to providing Vancouver Island families 

with high-quality infant and toddler products 

at affordable prices for over 25 years 

Mideer is a world-renowned brand 

that combines toys, art, games and education for the 

development of concentration, cognition, observation 

and logical thinking. Their environmentally-friendly 

material ensures the safety, non-toxicity and 

durability of the product with the 

strictest standards. 

tjskids.com 

250-386-2229 

Douglas St. 

Finlayson St. 

Thrifty 

Thursdays 

A different 

sale each 

week! 

Now Offering Curb-Side Pickups Current Hours: Tues–Sat 10am–5pm 

Entrance off 

Larch St. 

Larch St. 

T.J.’s 

MediaSmarts 

Student Guides 

For the student in your life, MediaSmarts has 

two helpful and informative guides to help 

make the transition easier. The first one, On the 

Loose: A Guide to Online Life for Post-Secondary 

Students, supports young adults experiencing 

both new freedoms and challenges in their postsecondary 

life. The second, Your Connected 

Life, is designed to help students who are just 

entering high school balance the demands of 

their offline life with their digital one. For more 

information, visit mediasmarts.ca. 

Give Wonder! 

975 Fort Street, Victoria BC - 250-595-4905 - motheringtouch.ca 



IMAX ® Victoria 

IMAX ® Victoria is offering the stories and science of our ocean neighbours in Humpback 

Whales, narrated by acclaimed actor Ewan McGregor and set in the waters of 

Alaska, Hawaii and the remote islands of Tonga. In addition, other crowd favourites, 

including Sea Lions: Life by a Whisker, Turtle Odyssey and Asteroid Hunters, will 

also be offered upon reopening. Combination passes—admission to both IMAX ® Victoria 

and the Royal BC Museum—are available. Visitors looking to take a deeper 

dive into the lives of whales on the Pacific Coast can combine their Humpback 

Whales IMAX® Victoriaexperience with a visit to the Royal BC Museum’s feature 

exhibition, Orcas: Our Shared Future, and surface with a new appreciation of how 

whales and humans are inextricably connected. Film schedules, tickets and information 

about COVID-19 health and safety protocols are available at imaxvictoria.com. 

Build Our Kids’ Success 

RELIEF: A Transformative Journey Through the Rockies 

To raise awareness of mental health issues around the world and to mobilize 

efforts in support of mental health, the Bateman Foundation is partnering 

with other community organizations to celebrate the intersections between 

the Arts and health. RELIEF: A Transformative Journey Through the Rockies 

is a new photography exhibit that navigates mental health and iconic Canadian 

landscapes. Each photograph, accompanied by journal entries, offers a 

window into the artist’s physical and mental journey. Viewers are invited to 

slow down, take a breath and enjoy an immersive experience. Photographs 

from the exhibit will be available for purchase, with the proceeds supporting 

the artist and the ongoing work of the Bateman Foundation to build relationships 

with nature. Admission is by donation. 

batemanfoundation.org 

BOKS (Build Our Kids’ Success), an initiative of the Reebok Foundation, is built on the science 

and research documented in the book, Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and 

the Brain. BOKS provides free physical activity programs, training and support to communities 

that want to establish and maintain impactful fitness and nutrition programs serving the whole 

child. With children stuck indoors during COVID-19, a recent study from Dalhousie University 

reinforced the positive impact that physical activity and movement have on children’s well-being. 

Up to 25 grants in the amount of $2,000 each will be awarded to underserved schools in 

Canada. To be eligible schools must be signed up for the BOKS program. These grants can be 

used to purchase equipment, provide participant incentives/rewards, to pay trainers a stipend 

when program volunteers are lacking; or to be used in other creative ways to help overcome 

barriers to participation. For more information, visit bokskids.ca. 

Unbox Your Mind 

The Unbox Your Mind initiative provides guidance, support, and tools for leaders and parents to 

become mental health champions. Through this 4-H at Home initiative, you will be able to aid young 

people in their ability to identify, recognize, and manage stress in themselves and their peers, all 

while learning about good health and well-being. 4-H Canada has created and collected a series 

of resources and that are designed to help youth explore, test, and find strategies that can support 

their mental health and well-being. 

From resource materials and tip sheets to hands-on activities and strategies, there are a variety of 

ways to explore and discover what works best for each individual. When it comes to mental health, 

remember there is no “one size fits all” strategy for support. Different things work better or not as 

well for different people and that is okay. As you begin to ‘Unbox Your Mind’ and get to know yourself 

better, you will find what best fits your needs. 

Download all resources and activities at 4-h-canada.ca/unbox-your-mind. 


Celebrating 

Community 

Resilience 

You are invited to create a selfportrait 

that reveals your resilience 

that’s been masked since 2020. 

This is your chance to consider, 

share and celebrate your personal 

strengths and the resilience you 

have cultivated over the past year 

with our community. Your artwork 

will become part of a community art 

project that will continue over the 

course of the next few weeks. The 

project will conclude with a free 

exhibition of the created artworks 

at the Bateman Gallery for the 

community to come and celebrate 

our resilience together. 

Download the Activity Sheet at 

batemanfoundation.org/ 

learning-resources 

FREEESTYLE TRAMPOLINE, PARKOUR, 

GYMNASTICS, MOUNTAIN BIKE, SKATEBOARD 

Drop-In daily, join a holiday Camp or winter Lesson program. 

Open Daily For All Ages + All Levels. Play + Train Today. 

Become an athlete in our family friendly and fun facility! 

Learn skills and get stoked on your sport with a dedicated coach! 

SCAN for DETAILS 

BOOK NOW 

airhouse.ca 



6 Six Simple Strategies 

to Handle Stress 

How to build your capacity for lightness 

The world is full of suffering which can feel overwhelming. 

Worry and stress can zap our energy, challenging us to 

have the courage to be fully present in the world. 

How can we transform our emotions, choose our responses 

wisely, and stay present? 

Gelong Thubten, author of A Monk’s Guide to Happiness 

says we experience stress when we: 

1. Don’t get what we want. 

2. Get what we don’t want. 

3. Protect what we have. 

4. Lose what we love. 

Sound familiar? How many of those examples can you 

name from today?! 

The phrases above are examples of grasping which matters 

because our minds shrink when under stress. Stress squashes 

our natural kindness and desire for connectivity. Emotions do 

have to go somewhere; they are like electricity. Luckily emotions 

convert to energy and to practice feeling our feels, makes 

us more human and humane. 

There many capacities we can build and simple strategies to 

try: 

1. Find beauty and awe. 

Get out into nature to realize that life wants life. It takes 

you out of yourself. You can sit in your insignificance and realize 

it’s not all about you. Lightness and gratitude are in sight 

when we stop the profound disconnect felt from our living 

world. 

Where is the place you go to experience beauty, awe, mystery, 

and magic? How could you get more of it and what’s 

stopping you?! 

2. Seek a vista or view. 

Walk, climb, or bike to a mountain summit, even a local 

knoll or viewpoint. Watch the sunrise or sunset over an 

expansive landscape. Soak up the view and overwhelm your 

brain with beauty. Our body responds when we experience 

being a part of something bigger than yourself. Want to learn 

more? Read about attention restoration theory (ART) which 

explains how time in nature can replenish us—supporting executive 

function and self-regulation. 

3. Stoke the fire. 

ART is also alive when we take time for fireside conversation 

and connection. Have you spent time starring into a fire? 


Think about the feeling you experience surrounded by darkness. 

Darkness in this sense can help turn down the volume on 

distractions, worries and even gently nudge people to speak 

openly and share or think more clearly. Authors Harper, Rose 

and Segal of Nature-Based Therapy: A practitioner’s guide to 

working outdoors with children, youth, and families say “... 

your ability to think lucidly and share without pretense is 

heightened.” 

4. Start a gratitude journal. 

Gratitude is a social emotion. It points to what’s already 

there. Gratitude also solidifies our relationship with living 

mystery and enhances our resilience (the ability to bounce 

back). Grab a journal and jot down three things before bed 

(when the mind is most suggestive) and see if it helps you 

build your capacity to face hard info. Express gratitude for 

things big and small—the moon, stars, friendship, safety or 

time to enjoy a cup of good coffee. 

5. Embrace Vajra pride. 

In the Buddhist tradition, pride is equal to poison. Pride’s 

friends are desire, jealousy, anger and ignorance. The problem 

with ordinary pride is it focuses on self-importance. You 

might fixate on proving your status and value. This leaves 

zero room for humour and lightness! 

Instead, try vajra pride: 

• Based on trust in one’s inherent worth and value 

• Takes courage! 

• “Primordial self-esteem” 

Stop constantly trying to prove yourself. From here you can 

relax. Then, watch how easily you can stand tall with basic 

confidence, find clarity, and find yourself grounded in fearlessness. 

6. Celebrate fearless ancestors. 

On my son’s birthday I read an excerpt of my grandfather’s 

life story. It gives great perspective on whose shoulders he 

stands on! Think of the people in your life who kept going, 

were tenacious, steadfast, and patient. Recall a mentor, teacher 

or coach. What do you remember about their stories? How 

it was to be around them? What were their traits and capacities? 

Their lives may offer you as a lesson to persevere. You 

may uncover excellent examples of how to stay on the path 

and to keep going forward. 

Which ideas have your attention? Pace yourself, this is not a 

checklist. Don’t hesitate to contemplate these strategies before 

diving in! 

Lindsay Coulter is a dedicated mother of 

two, naturalist, community catalyst, soul activist, 

mentor, writer and horse lover. Find her 

@SaneAction on Instagram and Facebook. 

She’s also the Director of Communications, 

Culture and Community of EPIC Learning Centre, 

a forest and nature school in Victoria, BC. 



Healthy Families, Happy Families 

Child, Youth 

& Family 

Public Health 

South Island Health Units 

Esquimalt 250-519-5311 

Gulf Islands 250-539-3099 

(toll-free number for office in Saanichton) 

Peninsula 250-544-2400 

Saanich 250-519-5100 

Saltspring Island 250-538-4880 

Sooke 250-519-3487 

Victoria 250-388-2200 

West Shore 250-519-3490 

Central Island Health Units 

Duncan 250-709-3050 

Ladysmith 250-755-3342 

Lake Cowichan 250-749-6878 

Nanaimo 250-755-3342 

Nanaimo 250-739-5845 

Princess Royal 

Parksville/Qualicum 250-947-8242 

Port Alberni 250-731-1315 

Tofino 250-725-4020 

North Island Health Units 

Campbell River 250-850-2110 

Courtenay 250-331-8520 

Kyuquot Health Ctr 250-332-5289 

‘Namgis Health Ctr 250-974-5522 

Port Hardy 250-902-6071 

islandhealth.ca/our-locations/ 

health-unit-locations 

Changes with BC Medical Services Plan 

premiums mean that families eligible for partial 

payment of some medical services and access 

to some income-based programs now must 

apply for Supplementary Benefits through the 

Government of BC. Applications can be done 

online and take approximately 15 minutes. 

Families who previously qualified for MSP 

Premium Assistance should not need to re-apply 

if taxes are completed yearly. It is advised to 

confirm coverage before proceeding with 

treatment to avoid paying out of pocket. 

For more information, visit gov.bc.ca/gov/ 

content/health/health-drug-coverage/msp/ 

bc-residents/benefits/services-covered-bymsp/supplementary-benefits 




My family and friends have made 

adjustments over the years to 

ensure my son Colwyn is safe and supported; 

we have some strange routines in 

our house. Now with my niece Jasmine 

living with our family this fall while she 

attends school, I have started to wonder 

about families with typical and diverse 

kids who may have quite different needs 

and ways of being. 

First, let me introduce Colwyn. He’s 

a 15-year-old who was born with a rare 

genetic syndrome called Prader-Willi 

(PWS) and was diagnosed with autism 

spectrum disorder when he was in preschool. 

He has become more and more 

verbal the last few years but is quiet and 

uses an iPad to augment his communication. 

One of the biggest risks with PWS 

is hyperphagia or an insatiable appetite. 

Colwyn is more food-focused than typical 

kids, but he is at lower risk for food 

stealing compared to many children with 

PWS. Nonetheless, we have a rigorous 

eating schedule and watch his calories 

closely. 

Colwyn put another way, we number 

the events of the day: 1) cuddles, 2) 

books in bed, 3) make breakfast. There 

may be some foot stomping thrown in 

due to frustration or dropping something, 

some yelling perhaps. All good, 

take a deep breath. Then 4) get dressed 

(how will Jasmine feel with Colwyn in 

his undies at this point?), 5) eat, wash 

hands, then iPad time. Relax for a moment 

while I pack his school bag (he 

should do that himself) and Colwyn 

takes a break. More foot stomping. Toileting. 

Yelling out “make bread, make 

bread” negotiate that for after school, 

and off he goes on the special ed bus. 

After school, home again for relaxing 

time, go out with a helper, or piano or 

Teen Community Connects, play music, 

maybe only the beginnings of songs, 

foot stomping, walk the dog, eat dinner, 

sing out sing out, exercises. Shower. Bed. 

The truth is, to Colwyn’s six cousins, 

he’s just Colwyn. The above routine is 

totally normal to them. They were all 

too little to know he was different when 

he was born, and they’ve all grown up 

with his differences, so most of our 

routines are normal. The first thing my 

sister-in-law Angela Stott said when I 

asked about adjustments was, “Plated 

dinners, following the rules of waiting 

until everyone is ready to eat before 

starting, and small plates for dinner.” 

It’s true, we no longer put serving 

plates of food on the table, nor does 

anyone else we know when we are 

around. Everyone gets a plate of food, 

often a small one. We are okay with 

second servings, but we release Colwyn 

from the table as soon as he’s finished. 

We also encourage him to wait until 

everyone is seated and ready to begin 

before eating—he eats fast. So, Angela 

expected the same from her kids when 

they were here. After her initial response, 

she added, “They (cousins Ben 

and Jasmine) totally don’t remember life 

without Colwyn.” 

Mandy Young is the mom of two 

kids, her daughter Sophie also has PWS, 

and her son Cooper is typical. At 10, 

Sophie’s hyperphagia or hunger is much 

more typical of PWS than Colwyn’s, so 

their kitchen is locked, as is their bathroom 

vanity. Sophie will eat toothpaste 

if she can get to it. 

Let me just clarify what a driving 

force hunger is for kids with PWS. They 

cannot help it. This hunger drive is one 

of the most difficult things for the uninitiated 

to understand. At eight, Mandy’s 

son Cooper has become a picky eater, 

and is not very independent with food 

prep, making his own snacks or even 

helping himself to a glass of milk. He 


needs a parent to let him into the kitchen. 

On the other hand, where Sophie 

has little freedom in where she can go, 

Cooper spends a lot of his time visiting 

friends and families in the townhouse 

complex they live. 

“Cooper goes outside to find someone 

else to help him or to play with if we are 

consumed with Sophie. Everyone knows 

everyone and looks out for each other. 

He knows, if he wants to get out of the 

house, he can just go,” says Mandy, 

adding that they are working on independence 

for Sophie, but she recently 

broke into a house and stole food. 

Sophie goes to respite two nights 

a week, and this allows Mandy and 

her husband to pay more attention to 

Cooper, give him some chances in the 

kitchen to prepare food, and do what he 

wants to do. 

“He will often say, ‘why does she get 

to choose what we are doing,’” says 

Mandy, “but she’s the trickier kid, and 

so sometimes her way rules.” 

We are similar in our house, once 

something is in Colwyn’s head, it is hard 

to change his mind. We pick our battles. 

Children with special needs often have 

anxiety and aggression due to changes 

in routine that need accommodating in 

their families. Sometimes Cooper pushes 

Sophie’s buttons, so Mandy keeps the 

kids apart when they are getting ready 

to go out, so they actually can go out. 

Colwyn is an only child, but we’ve had 

friends rearrange their social schedules 

because he thought they were coming 

for a visit. 

Angela noted that she and her partner, 

Jason, are already structured parents, so 

many of the small modifications went 

unnoticed by their kids, such as being 

ready to leave a place if he needed 

to go. For a while Colwyn always had 

to wear headphones in public places, 

no comment from the kids. He wore 

a Band-Aid on his nose, no comment. 

She said, “Think about playgrounds 

and patience and flipping books and 

dancing to the same song, no comment. 

The kids were fine.” I recall his stack of 

Robert Munsch books and his adamant 

refusal to let his cousins read with him, 

sometimes Ben would shrug and go find 

different books, sometimes he’d talk 

Colwyn into it, and they’d sit side by 

side and share. 

There are a lot of things we do to 

support or make things smoother for 

Colwyn without even realizing it. Small 

things like putting his shoes out so he 

can easily get them on, or little constant 

reminders, or verbal cues. We have signs 

in our bathroom to remind him of the 

routines, and I think most who know us 

barely notice them anymore. Though we 

have these small visual reminders, I like 

Colwyn to come and check in with me, 

especially as he becomes more his own 

person, doing his own (rather teenaged) 

things, like watching YouTube or reading 

books in his room. I wonder how 

these day-to-day routines will be for 

Jasmine, especially around hygiene and 

toileting. 

A key note on inclusion and neurodiversity 

is that often kids are quicker 

to understand the needs of their diverse 

peer than adults. I can remember Colwyn’s 

Grade 2 teacher wanting to do 

a food-based activity at school and we 

had a long discussion, that resulted in a 

pared-down party, with a sign-up sheet 

to limit how much food was brought. 

One of the kids, who’d known him since 

pre-school said, as she read it, “But that 

won’t be good for Colwyn.” 

Cooper too can be more understanding 

of his diverse classmates because of 

his sister. 

“If a kid is at a playground on their 

own, Cooper will approach and ask 

them to join,” says Mandy. “He is emotional 

and is starting to understand that 

other kids are like his sister, and then 

understanding her better too.” 

Jasmine may find living with us an 

adjustment, but probably it will be less 

about Colwyn and our well-established 

neurodiverse routines, and more about 

her uncle’s terrible dad jokes. 

Yvonne Blomer is 

a Victoria writer and the 

past Poet Laureate of 

Victoria. Her most recent 

books are Sugar Ride: 

Cycling from Hanoi to 

Kuala Lumpur and 

Refugium: Poems for 

the Pacific. yvonneblomer.com. 



Mom’sPOV 

Much Ado About Midriffs 

When I was 14, I worked in a consignment store as a 

cashier. One shift, I was wearing a cream-coloured 

sweater that showed my midriff. While a toddler 

and her mom were at the counter, the little girl pointed at my 

exposed belly and said in a cute voice “fat.” Her mom was 

embarrassed, assuring me that I was not fat. She explained to 

her toddler that it was just my tummy. 

Three months after I had my third child, someone I knew 

told me that it was okay I hadn’t lost the baby weight yet 

because I am confident. She told me she had to lose the baby 

weight right away in order to feel confident again. I had no 

idea how to respond to this half-compliment and possibly 

half-insult. 

Even though these conversations have stuck with me, they 

never affected my confidence or the love I feel for myself or 

my body. Part of my confidence stems from my parents and 

how I was raised. I think being a model as a teen also helped. 

The modeling classes taught me how to carry myself, have 

great posture, and show my confidence. When I think back to 

that experience, I realize I was encouraged to be confident. It 

wasn’t about body size or even body image. It was about how 

to take care of myself. Now, it’s my job to model and teach 

confidence and self-love to my children. 

I feel like as a society we have come a long way with positive 

body image. I applaud all the advertisements that show 

women in all shapes and sizes, which helps with my task. Everyone 

at any size and shape has the choice to wear a midriff 

shirt. Everyone has the right to feel confident and comfortable 

in their own skin. 

This summer, my 10-year-old daughter and I participated in 

an online Dove Self-Esteem - Confident Me Workshop. It covered 

body image, social media influencers, self-confidence and 

feelings. They talked about how a person felt before and after 

putting on lots of make-up and using filters, and we discussed 

how we would respond to someone wanting plastic surgery to 

look like someone else. One of our family’s favourite books 

is Makeup Mess by Robert Munsch. This book helped me get 

the message across that makeup is fun to wear to look different, 

but is never required to look beautiful. 

During the workshop, we watched a video with various 

girls describing one thing that they would change about 

themselves. I teared up when a girl with darker skin said she 

wished she had lighter skin. It was heartbreaking to hear this 

and it was a wake-up call for me to check-in with what my 

children are watching online and how they are feeling about 

themselves. 

These conversations are so important to have because of 

social media influencers on Tik Tok and YouTube. I worry 

about how my children could compare themselves to others 

and that they may place unrealistic pressures and ideals upon 

themselves. 

And even though she isn’t online yet, my six-year-old 

daughter said recently she wished she had freckles like her 

older sister. For me, it was curly hair and my mom let me 

use hot rollers to make my hair curly. Do we all just wish for 

what we don’t have? What parts of ourselves are we okay 

with changing, and what do we lose about our original self 

when we do change? 

My 10-year-old decided to change her style this year. She 

started wearing cropped tops, which she wears with highwaist 

pants, so her midriff isn’t showing at school. She told 

me that her new style is called “softie.” I looked up this style 


online which is described as “cute and feminine and is incredibly 

popular on Tik Tok.” Possible softie outfit choices include 

cardigans, wide-leg jeans, T-shirts with butterfly pictures, 

pleated skirts and those crop tops. 

Thinking about crop tops and school reminded me of how 

angry I felt at age 14 when my best friend and I were called to 

the principal’s office for wearing crop tops. We were made to 

put on our longer gym shirts so that our belly buttons weren’t 

exposed. This was my first time getting in trouble at school 

and it hindered my confidence about my style choices. Now, I 

feel like I have to censor my daughter’s style choices to shield 

her from the humiliation that I experienced at school. I also 

worry about someone pointing out her belly. There’s still bitterness 

about the lack freedom of not getting to choose what 

I wore to school. My parents supported my style choice and I 

could wear what I wanted outside of school. This helped ease 

that uncertainty and allowed me to find what clothing I liked 

and felt comfortable wearing. 

Discussing this crop top subject with my 10-year-old was 

difficult because I am emotionally distracted by my past-experience. 

However, together, we decided she can wear the crop 

tops to school if she wears a longer shirt underneath or wears 

her high waist pants. This way her midriff is not exposed. She 

felt it would be no big deal if she had to change her wardrobe 

to comply with a school’s dress code. She said it is the same as 

knowing that a bathing suit is appropriate for a pool and not 

a classroom. At age three, my youngest would have preferred 

to wear her swimsuits everywhere and all the time because 

they were comfortable and she loved her swimsuits. She also 

knows the difference now. My daughters have a better understanding 

of a time and place for certain attire than I did. 

Perhaps, these subjects are approached with more open lines 

of communication nowadays. 

It’s important to continue to have positive body image, selfconfidence, 

and style discussions with our children at every 

age. I am also an advocate for teaching our children to appreciate 

what they have by focusing on the positive instead of 

dwelling on the negative (although, it is important to uncover 

negative feelings too). Last night I asked all my children what 

they like about their bodies. My six-year-old’s response? “I 

like that I look like me.” 

Our conversations are paying off. 

Serena Beck works full-time as a Technical 

Writer. She loves to write, travel and swim at the 

beach with family and friends. 



Money Matters 

Most would agree with the importance 

of equipping our children with some 

degree of financial know-how. After all, 

it is a crucial life skill. My parents, typical 

of their generation, were both savers. 

They were careful with their money, but 

then, they had to be; they were raised during 

the Great Depression and every penny 

counted. It wasn’t uncommon back then 

for children, even young children, to work 

outside of the. Everyone pulled together 

for the sake of the family. 

Nowadays, we are bombarded by 

advertising, if not on the TV, then on 

billboards, buses, computers—even in 

bathroom stalls! As a parent, how do you 

counteract that? 

In this disposable, “I want it all and I 

want it now” society, how do we teach 

our children the value of a dollar, let alone 

healthy financial management? The trick, 

I believe, is two-fold: 1) start early and 2) 

be sure to model healthy financial management. 

When I was raising my own children, I 

missed the boat. Take chores for example. 

I didn’t institute household chores and an 

allowance system to go along with them 

until my sons were 12 and 10. By then I 

had lofty goals of showing them how to 

save their own money. To my dismay, my 

plan failed miserably. 

For one thing, it required constant vigilance 

and supervision to make sure the 

chores were actually done because half 

the time, my sons “forgot” or had some 

silly excuse. The rest of the time, I had to 

nag them to death. In the end, I decided it 

simply wasn’t worth the effort, so I abandoned 

the system after only a few exhausting 

months. 

When I look back on it, I think the failure 

was due to the fact that I started far 

too late with my children. So my advice 

is to start when children are very young. 

Initially, they can contribute to the family 

through simple jobs around the house: 

taking recyclables to the recycle bin, putting 

away their coat and shoes when they 

enter the house, picking up their toys etc. 

A three-or four-year-old can be taught 

these tasks. 

As they grow older, young children can 

be tasked with other jobs and a monetary 

reward with rules can be set up around 

that. I’ve often heard of the “Rule of 

Thirds”—save 1/3, spend 1/3 and contribute 

1/3 to the family. In this way, a child 

learns to save for big purchases they want 

and their contribution to the family can go 

towards things like family movie nights or 

vacations. This rule of thirds could even 

be kept in place when a teenager gets their 

first real job, as by then, they would be 

used to contributing to the family. 

Even if a parent doesn’t believe in an 

allowance system on principle—and I’m 

sure some parents don’t believe in paying 

their children for helping around the 

house—there are still many ways in which 

children can be taught how to save the 

money they do receive (for example, birthday 

or Christmas money). Having them 

set this aside in their own bank account 

for example is one idea. Most children 

love to have their very own bank account 

and it is an excellent way in which they 

can be taught the concept of earning interest. 

Budgeting is another financial skill that 

is important to teach our children before 

they strike out on their own and I’m happy 

to say I did much better on this subject 

with my own children. My oldest son 

enrolled in accounting, so there was no 

need to help him, of course, but I did take 

aside my younger son once he landed his 

first job upon graduating from university. 

At that point, I showed him how to set up 

a simple budget—how to lay out all his 

monthly expenses and how to save towards 

short-term and long-term costs. He 

has been on his own for almost a decade 

now and I was thrilled to learn recently 

that he still uses the same budget I laid out 

for him all those years ago! 

As parents, our own financial management 

has a profound effect on our 

children. If we want them to be able to 

manage their money someday, then we 

need to make a concerted effort with the 

example we set. This means taking a close 

look at what we demonstrate to them, 

not only in terms of spending, but also in 

terms of saving and stretching a dollar. 

There are many easy ways in which we 

can teach children the value of a dollar— 

turning off lights for instance to reduce 

hydro costs, or walking/biking/busing to 

save on gas, eating out as a treat instead 

of a weekly occurrence, and buying second 

hand in order to save anywhere from 

a third to half the cost of new. And how 

about repairing/fixing things instead of 

disposing of them if it’s cost effective? (I 

remember my grandmother darning socks 

and my mother ironing on knee patches!) 

Lastly, and perhaps hardest of all, is simply 

making do without. 

All of us want our children to be successful 

in life and to manage financially is 

part of that. We strive to equip them with 

a tool kit that will hopefully serve them 

well in life and what better tool to have 

than some financial know-how? 

Susan Gnucci is a 

local author and a proud 

“nonna” to two young 

grandsons. She enjoys 

sharing her experiences 

as a grandparent. 


TWEENS&TEENS 

TEENS 

Raising a 

Worker 

& 2021 

3QUESTIONS 

The Pursuit 

of Their Own 

Normal

The Pursuit of Their Own Normal 

brilliant friend of mine has a magnet on her fridge that 

A looks like an advertisement and it states in bold lettering, 

“I am the expert in my own normal.” 

As a sexuality educator, I think this magnet could be the 

mantra for adolescence. 

In the classes I am lucky enough to teach, students ask questions 

in genuine pursuit of normalizing their rapidly changing 

feelings, bodies and experiences. Whether students are asking 

questions about crushes, sexual orientation, gender identity, 

periods or genitals; they’re searching for information to affirm 

themselves as normal. 

One of the greatest fears youth harbour is that their feelings, 

bodies, and experiences are every thing but normal. This 

is completely understandable when the one constant through 

this high pressure stage of life is change and often just as they 

become acquainted with their normal, things suddenly shift and 

they begin the process again. 

As adults, one of the most impactful life learnings we can 

offer youth is to help them develop the understanding of their 

own normal. Their own normal will evolve as they learn and 

grow. As adults, we know that learning and trusting your own 

normal is central to our well-being and connection to others. 

A simple yet effective practice that will promote expertise in 

their own normalcy is body literacy. Some of you may be wondering 

if body literacy is yet another newfangled term straight 

out of our pandemic vocabulary such as “circle back, pivot, 

and zoom fatigue?” 

It’s not! 

Body literacy simply refers to being educated about and familiar 

with your body and its processes. Being body literate involves 

using observation, knowledge and supporting resources 

to better understand and accept our own normal and engage in 

healthful practices for well-being. 

As parents and adult allies, we can best support our youth 

with body literacy skills by reminding them to observe their 

own bodies and take notice of the changes they’re experiencing. 

We can engage and encourage youth in conversations about the 

changes they’re noticing with curiosity and without judgement. 

Are they experiencing a long-hoped-for growth spurt or have 

they started a cycle bleed/period—what’s different than they 

expected or it was last year? A curiosity-based approach helps 

youth to adjust to the changes they experience with greater 

acceptance of bodies and their many functions as healthy and 

natural rather than weird and shameful. 

Observation helps our youth to recognize when their bodies 

are feeling or working differently than they have before. This 

recognition helps them to know when they may need more information 

and when they may need to ask for outside support 

to manage. These observations will also help a health care provider 

with follow up care if it’s necessary. 

Helping our youth increase their body literacy also involves 

making sure they have a solid level of factual knowledge to 

understand not only their bodies but the bodies of their peers, 

friends, and potential partners. When youth hold factual

knowledge, they are better able to compare their observations 

and follow through any gaps between what they’ve observed 

and what they understand to be happening. 

Ensure that youth understand all of the anticipated developments 

and ways to manage these changes as they present (i.e. 

pubic hair, chest tissue development, and periods, etc.) whether 

they will happen specifically to their own body or not. 

Creating space for community-held knowledge is one of 

the reasons current school-based sexuality education sessions 

involve youth of all sex assignments and gender identities 

together in sessions. Commonly held knowledge encourages 

responsibility, compassion, and empathy and normalizes all 

bodies and experiences. 

In order for body literacy to be a useful skillset, we must 

partner observation and factual knowledge with an inventory 

of local reliable, accessible community health resources for 

youth. Offering youth resources such as youth centred websites, 

texting lines, print materials, and access to community-based 

clinics for youth will support their factual knowledge and help 

translate their skills and knowledge into action should their observation 

and knowledge inform them that they require health 

services for themselves or a friend. 

A great place to start for youth-based health resources is an 

organization called The Foundry (foundrybc.ca) as they offer 

full service health services for youth in many communities 

throughout Vancouver Island and elsewhere in B.C. 

Observation, factual knowledge and knowledge of youth 

specific resources make body literacy the ultimate antidote to 

the fears of not being normal can cause. Body literacy reminds 

youth that they are ultimately the experts of their own normalcy 

whether they choose to advertise it on a fridge magnet or 

not! 

Jennifer Gibson, MA, is also known as 

“The Sex Lady”—officially now for over 17 years 

in Greater Victoria!—to the thousands of amazing 

youth and adults she is lucky to educate and learn 

with through her job as the Coordinator of Community 

Education at Island Sexual Health. She’s 

passionate about making sexuality education as 

positive, fun and non-cringe-able as possible. 

IslandParent.ca October/November 2021 19

Raising a Worker 

It’s a tough job but we’ve all got to do it 

used to work in the IT department at 

I Island Health. We were fortunate to 

have a collaboration with my alma mater, 

the School of Health Information Science 

at the University of Victoria, and one of 

the best aspects of that collaboration was 

having a semi-regular, budget permitting, 

rotation of co-operative education 

students. I have fond memories of being 

a co-op student myself and have learned 

as much, or more, from interacting with 

co-op students as an employer, as I did as 

a student. 

My big take away? Make sure your 

kids have at least one or two service-oriented 

jobs under their belts before they 

leave high school. 

Think perfect grades, excelling at the 

top level in sport, or singing the perfect 

aria is more important than flipping 

burgers for spending money? Think 

again. 

The students I met from the co-op 

program invariably came in two varieties. 

Those that got what it means to be a 

worker and those that didn’t. The ones 

that got it arrived on time, didn’t abuse 

the break policies, were eager to learn, 

and most of all grateful for the opportunity. 

They were, essentially, workplace 

ready. 

The ones that didn’t get it wore entitlement 

like an ivy league sweatshirt. They 

expected to be spoon fed every step in 

every task, they thought their bosses had 

infinite time to go over partially done or 

badly done work, and they expected constant 

praise and accolades. They seemed 

burdened by office life. 

Looking back, the difference between 

the students that got it and the ones that 

didn’t seemed to be in their work experience. 

I’m not talking about a first-year 

co-op student versus a fourth year, but 

whether or not they had on their resume 

work places where they might have uttered 

the phrase: “I can help you over 

here please,” or, “would you like fries 

with that?” 

I started working in the “real world” 

when I was 12. My first job was berry 

picking. My dad would drop my friend 

and me off at the farm at 8 a.m. and he’d 

pick us up at 5 p.m. We were the slowest 

pickers in the patch and there was at 

least one occasion when we wasted the 

product in an epic berry fight. But, for 

the most part, we plodded along, slowly 

picking our baskets full and bringing 

them in to be weighed - and to see how 

much money we’d made. 

I earned $500 that month, which I 

spent on a gleeful shopping spree at the 

West Edmonton Mall on our summer 

vacation. The funds are long gone but 

the things I learned from that job are 

with me for a lifetime. I was humbled to 

watch the immigrant women we worked 

alongside. They picked about 10 times as 

many berries as we did, performing back 

breaking work in the direct sun, all day 

long. They didn’t complain, they just got 

on with the task at hand. 

Hard work pays off. That was the 

main lesson I got from being paid by the 

pound. That, and some people have to 

work much harder in this life than others. 

Working in environments where one 

works up an actual sweat is one of the 

best natural motivators for kids to do 

well in school. It is one thing to hear your 

parents say that life will be easier with 

some education or skills under your belt 

and another thing altogether to experience 

the daily rigour of real work in a job 

at the lower end of the pay scale. 

Kids who work in service jobs are less 

likely to become horrible customers as 

adults. They will understand firsthand 

that store policies are not something the 

clerk in front of them has control over 

and temper their behaviour towards service 

workers with empathy. 

Some key learnings kids gain 

from summer/after school jobs: 

• Responsibility. If I don’t show up 

others are impacted. 

20 Island Parent Magazine

• Punctuality. If I’m not on time, it 

matters. 

• Money sense. I had to work how 

long to make how much? And those 

sneakers cost what?? 

• Communication skills. When I fail to 

communicate effectively I face the consequences. 

• Attitude. If I greet my customer with 

a smile they tend to respond well, if I provide 

poor service they complain about me. 

If your child can’t get a job this summer 

because of fears of Covid 19, no job 

opportunities, or simply because they 

are too young, I encourage you to give 

them a job yourself—otherwise known 

as chores. With so much more time being 

spent at home these days and many of 

the usual kids’ activities curtailed, it is an 

ideal time to increase kids’ participation 

in domestic work. Chores can be paid or 

unpaid but should be work of real value. 

The goals are to encourage an understanding 

of what it takes to run a household 

and to teach important life skills. 

Growing up, I used to envy my friends 

whose parents didn’t give them chores. 

Some parents were perfectionists and 

believed (correctly) that they could do a 

better job of the domestic duties. Others 

didn’t want to burden their children 

with tedious household tasks. These kids 

wound up having to learn really basic 

things like chopping vegetables, washing 

clothes and doing dishes as adults. I now 

believe I had an easier transition into 

household management having learned to 

cook and clean when my age was still in 

the single digits. 

So, what chores should kids do? 

Plenty! 

Age 3-6: 

• Stand at sink with dad or mom and 

“help” with the dishes—this is mostly 

about playing with bubbles but it’s fun 

for them and they get to see how it’s 

done—and the pleasure of their company 

makes the job fun for mom or dad. 

• Unload the dishwasher. 

• Make their bed. 

• Clean up toys. 

• Put dishes in the dishwasher. 

• Set/clear the table. 

• Help with making school lunches. 

Age 6-12: 

• Wash laundry, fold it and put it away 

(or any portion thereof). When my daugh- 

ter’s Grade 5 teacher asked the class who 

did their own laundry, my daughter was 

the only one to raise her hand—this is not 

a hard job, kids can, and I believe should, 

be participating in it. 

• Wash cars. 

• Vacuum, dust, clean bathrooms. 

My rule is if you use a toilet you should 

know how to clean it, my kids have both 

done this chore (only one time each, but, 

hey, it’s a start). 

• Make school lunches independently. 

Kids are more likely to eat what they 

pack and most parents hate this chore— 

I’m not sure why, but then, I haven’t 

done it in a while. 

• Kids cook dinner night. We like to 

have a night once a week where one parent 

and one kid are responsible for the 

dinner and don’t have to help clean up; 

the kid picks the meal and is responsible 

for making it—or learning and helping 

alongside the parent. 

• Care for younger siblings. 

• Help in the garden, mow the lawn. 

• Paint a fence or participate other in 

other small household maintenance jobs. 

• Help out at the grandparents’ place. 

A great way for a kid to show they care 

and usually well rewarded with accolades, 

cookies and cash. 

• Volunteer to do something for a 

neighbor. 

Will your kids thank you for giving 

them chores to do? No Way! Probably 

never. I have not sat my parents down 

and said “hey, thanks for making me 

do all those dishes,” that would just be 

weird. But your job as a parent—and 

by the way, parenting is a job—is not to 

make your children happy at every given 

moment. It is to teach them morals and 

how to make their way in the world. 

Raising your children to be a worker by 

encouraging them to get a summer job 

and by giving them chores to do at home 

will enhance their self-confidence and 

ultimately lead to their happiness and 

satisfaction in knowing if there is a job to 

do they have the ability to do it well. 

Gina Safranyik is an IT Consultant and the 

mother of two children—when she isn’t busy 

working or wrangling kids, she enjoys reading, 

cooking, yoga, writing and going on walks with 

her husband and the family Border Terrier. 



Mama Gets to Ask 3 Questions 

once read an article about raising teenagers which suggested 

I that while parents believe asking questions is a sign of interest, 

teens find it annoying, an intrusion of privacy. It felt like a 

lose-lose situation. If I ask questions, I am not respecting my 

teenager’s right to privacy. If I don’t ask questions, it shows a 

lack of interest in them. Does anyone else long for the days of 

tiny hands and squishy faces? Life was much simpler then. 

Not knowing what to do, I decided to go directly to the expert 

on teenagers in my house—my 14-year-old son. 

have affectionately named “Mama Gets to Ask You Three 

Questions”. Here’s how you play: 

1. My son has the right to pass on a question, if he feels it 

violates his privacy. 

2. Answers must be truthful. 

3. I only have 3 questions to ask but may request permission 

for clarification questions if necessary. 

Let me illustrate how this works. Recently, in casual conversation, 

my son mentioned the name of a girl at school. This 

“I ask you questions because I care about you and I want to 

know what’s going on in your life.” 

“I know, Mom. I actually don’t mind your questions. It’s just 

annoying when you ask too many. It feels like an interrogation.” 

(Truthfully, it kinda is an interrogation. It’s so strange to be 

on the periphery of your child’s life, not knowing the ins and 

outs of every moment of his day.) 

My son and I worked together to create some ground rules 

so that my questions are less overwhelming. It’s a game we 

name was new, one I had never heard before, so I asked him 

about it. 

“It’s a girl in one of my classes. We’re hanging out.” 

Now I initiate the game, with his permission. “Can we play 

Mama Gets to Ask You Three Questions?” 

“Sure,” he answers, with less enthusiasm than his mama, 

who is trying to harness her curiosity. 

First question… “How did you approach this girl?” 

My son went on to share that he walked up to her in the 

hallway, after class one day. He saw the girl standing with her 

friends and asked to speak to her for a moment. Then, he pro- 

22 Island Parent Magazine 

IslandParent.ca

ceeded to tell her that he thought she was beautiful, smart, and 

funny and wanted to spend more time with her. (What a ballsy 

move! I love that he complimented her personality and brains 

as well as her looks. I am raising a good, confident man!) 

“I have some follow up questions about that, but I don’t 

want them to count towards my 3. Is that okay?” 

With his permission, I proceed to ask how he felt about being 

so forward. Was he nervous? What was her reaction? I also 

compliment him on approaching her in person, instead of just 

texting her. 

He laughs, “Ya. That threw her off! But I don’t think you 

should ask a girl out over text.” (Again, proud Mama!) 

Second question… “I am happy that you are hanging out. 

If, at some point, it starts to feel more serious, will you be comfortable 

sharing that with me?” 

My children and I have spoken a lot about sex. We’ve spoken 

of the emotional complications of sex, the possible consequences 

of, different kinds of sex. I began that dialogue years ago, in 

hopes that we could remove the discomfort and normalize the 

conversation. I was wrong. It’s still awkward for all of us, but 

regardless, I think I have created an environment of honesty. 

(Side note: Talking about awkward topics in the car is helpful 

because the driver must keep eyes on the road. It removes the 

discomfort of intense eye contact. I’ve also invited my kids to 

text me any questions they have. It works!) 

I wanted to use the second question as a reminder to my son 

that I am always here for him if he needs to talk. Chances are 

that he will not take me up on this offer, but I feel the need to 

make it, just the same. 

I preface my third question with a disclaimer. “The next 

question is going to make you roll your eyes and say ‘Jeez, 

Mom!’ but I am going to ask it anyway. What is your understanding 

of consent?” 

As predicted, he did roll his eyes, however, after he answered, 

this question led to a conversation about consent within the 

dynamics of marriage and marriage in general. And, it wasn’t 

just me doing the talking! My son was asking questions and 

sharing his reactions. 

Here’s the thing, this game works for us because my son feels 

has control of the conversation. He has the right to pass on a 

question or limit the number of questions I ask. (He can turn 

down my request for follow up questions.) To this day, he has 

never passed on anything I ask and, more often than not, the 

game leads to a bigger conversation, one he may not have been 

open to if I just started peppering him with questions. I have 

used this game to talk about sex, parties, drugs, pressure of 

school and sports. You name it, we’ve talked about it! 

This game works well for me and my son. I’m not saying it’s 

a sure-fire way to talk with your teenager, but it may be worth 

a try. 

Kelly Cleeve is a best-selling author 

and an educator. More importantly, she is 

the proud parent of two amazing sons. 

Visit kellycleeve.com or follow her on 

Instagram @resilient_kel and Facebook – 

Raising Resilient Children/Radiant and 

Resilient. 



How Social Media 

Affects Teen Sleep 

Sleep experts have developed a new 

tool to help more accurately measure 

young people’s ability to disengage from 

social media before bed. 

The University of Glasgow researchers 

who developed the Index of Nighttime 

Offline Distress, or iNOD, believe it is 

the first psychological measurement tool 

of its kind, which reflects the realities 

of how young people interact with each 

other in an online world. 

The 10-point questionnaire, developed 

after consultation with 3,000+ young 

people, aims to equip clinicians, teachers 

and parents with accurate measurements 

of the impact of late-night social media 

use on sleep. 

Previous research from the group has 

shown that teenagers who use social 

media for five hours or more a day are 

more likely to report problems with 

their quality of sleep. 

The development of iNOD is outlined 

in a new paper published in the journal 

Sleep Medicine. Dr Holly Scott, a lecturer 

at the University of Glasgow’s School 

of Psychology, is the paper’s lead author. 

“It’s not unusual to hear parents and 

teachers expressing concern about the 

amount of time that young people spend 

on their mobile phones,” says Dr. Holly 

Scott, a lecturer at the University of 

Glasgow’s School of Psychology and the 

paper’s lead author. 

“As young people move away from 

their families and begin to strike out on 

their own, staying in touch with friends 

becomes more important, as does maintaining 

a feeling of connection,” adds 

Scott. “No one wants to feel they’re 

missing out … phones and social media 

give them an unprecedented ability to 

extend the feeling of face-to-face connection.” 

In developing iNOD, the research 

team set out to create a measurement 

system which was built from the ground 

up to reflect the real-life experiences and 

opinions of modern young people. The 

aim was to get a truer sense of the tradeoffs 

young people make between social 


connections and night-time social media 

use, and to determine where it can begin 

to impact on young people’s sleep. 

While a considerable proportion of 

respondents claimed not to have difficulties 

in disengaging from social media, 

the responses also showed that extended 

wakefulness in bed before attempts to 

sleep was a typical experience for many. 

Those young people who did spend longer 

than they intended on social media 

at bedtime were also more likely to report 

delayed sleep onset, short duration 

and poor sleep quality. 

The researchers used the survey responses 

to develop the 10-point iNOD 

questionnaire, which allows young 

people to self-report on their experiences 

of social media and sleep.It 

captures feedback on two factors that 

respondents reported as particularly 

important – “staying connected” to 

peers via social media and “following 

etiquette” by continuing interactions 

into the night. Those who scored higher 

on Staying Connected and Following 

Etiquette tended to get into bed later, 

took longer to close their eyes for sleep 

at a later time, but did not differ in their 

wake times. They also tended to use 

social media for longer in bed and after 

the time they felt they should be asleep. 

They tended to have shorter sleep duration 

and poorer sleep quality. 

“Young people need quality sleep,” 

says Dr. Heather Cleland Woods, senior 

lecturer at the School of Psychology and 

co-author on the paper. “But they also 

need the interactions with peers that social 

media provides, especially during a 

pandemic. Our aim is that iNOD will be 

widely adopted as a tool to help parents, 

teachers and other adults with caring 

responsibilities have informed conversations 

with young people and each other 

about device use and sleep.” 

“We’ve already done some work 

with government to help develop better 

evidence-based policy for young people, 

and we’re keen to explore further how 

iNOD can be integrated into high-level 

understanding of the lives and concerns 

of today’s young people.” 

To read the paper, ‘Nodding Off 

But Can’t Disconnect” visit sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/ 

S1389945721001453?via%3Dihub. 

If a night is not sold out, we will accept “walk-ups,” 

however, when buying tickets at the box office BRING CASH. 



DADSPEAK 

We’re Getting There 

It feels like, in 2021, we no longer live in reality and time is 

meaningless. It’s also really hard to be a half-decent parent 

when those are the best words I can use to describe life right 

now. But we’re all managing, aren’t we? 

We survived March 2020; we survived lockdowns, false 

starts, more lockdowns, general confusion about if we’re 

locked down or not... And here we are, squinting at the sun 

while wondering if we should stumble outside and try it one 

more time, unsure if we feel safe or in danger, and still just trying 

to be a good parent throughout it all. 

Draining, isn’t it? 

Yet we go on, because as parents, there’s no other option. Resilience 

is sort of our thing from the get-go. Which reminds me, 

I need to respond to about eight different emails from my kids’ 

schools, cut some fingernails and toenails (mental note: I should 

probably check my own at some point here), and good god is it 

safe to leave the house yet or not? 

Who knows? Everything is just a big ‘who knows?’ as we 

navigate what feels like Year 30 of the virus, as we do weird 

dances to indicate that we can wear a mask if you feel it’s 

okay but we’re okay if you don’t if you’re okay with that and 

are okay with us being okay with that, and here I’ll place my 

big toe—ignore the long nails, I have children—inside your 

doorway as a polite way of saying do we go inside each other’s 

houses anymore? 

Draining. 

It’s life on planet COVID, where everything is just a bit 

vague, a bit uncomfortable, a bit new. A bit uneasy. And a bit 

crappy: the family restaurant downtown that’s been there for- 


ever and my two older kids grew up in 

during regular visits shut down (cheers to 

the Island Parent-reading waitress there) 

weeks ago and I’m still sad over it. Like 

all parents, I spend a lot of time wondering 

how the past 18 months are going to 

impact our kids. My youngest is barely 

over 2; he doesn’t know a world where 

we don’t wear a mask to go inside the 

library. He loves strangers but rarely gets 

to see their smiles. It’ll happen, I tell myself, 

this isn’t forever. 

But it also isn’t easy. Parents trying 

to keep it together through all these additional 

strains know what I’m talking 

about. The clerks who probably see me 

a bit too often at the liquor store get it; 

they probably see a lot of people a bit 

too often these days. Hey, we’re all doing 

what we can to get by, as we send 

our kids off to a pretty scary new school 

year, sort of half-happy that they’re even 

going back, everything just one big ball 

of mixed feelings, reality this forward 

momentum of getting-there shouldershrugging 

combined with sympathetic 

smiles and half-hearted sentiments of 

encouragement. 

“We’re getting there,” I mumble to 

other parents walking past me on the 

street, and they half-smile, not even 

making eye contact, shoulders relaxing 

almost imperceptibly upon hearing those 

three words. 

It’s draining, but we’re getting there. 

One day, our kids will look back on all 

this and laugh, in that awkward way that 

we do when something is horrible and 

unreal. To all the parents out there, keep 

powering through, keep navigating the 

confusing mixed messages, the clear-asmud 

directives, the sense of ennui that is 

so easy to fall into right now. Two weeks 

to flatten the curve a year ago; it’s hard 

to stay positive some days. But you know 

what? Our kids need us to—full stop. 

So grab your kids today, give them 

a hug, and look right at them with an 

intensity that blocks out the rest of this 

bizarre time we’re living in. 

After all, we’re getting there. 

A WHALE 

OF A TIME 

Save when you purchase a 

combo ticket to experience both the 

Orcas: Our Shared Future feature exhibition 

and the IMAX film Humpback Whales 

Greg Pratt is the father 

of three children and a local 

journalist and editor. His 

writing has appeared in, 

among other places, Today’s 

Parent, Decibel and Douglas. 

He is @gregprattwriter 

on Twitter. 



OCT/NOVFamilyCalendar 

For more information and calendar 

updates throughout the month 

visit IslandParent.ca 

V 

P 

W 

Victoria & Area 

Peninsula 

Westshore 

CV 

N 

CX 

Cowichan Valley 

Nanaimo & Area 

Comox Valley 

PR 

G 

O 

Pacific Rim 

Gulf Islands 

Online 

October 

2 Saturday 

Once Upon a Story Walk 

V 

1-3pm, Courtyard Central Branch Library 

Join us for a StoryWalk®, where individual pages 

of a storybook, mounted on sign posts, are 

placed outdoors in a circuit. gvpl.ca 

Relief: A Transformative Journey 

Through the Rockies 

V 

10am-4pm, Bateman Gallery 

Public exhibition opening of Relief, a new inhouse 

exhibit that explores the magic of nature 

through a spectacular collection of images. 

batemanfoundation.org 

10 Sunday 

World Health Mental Health Day 

Bug Pinning V 

Noon-3pm, Victoria Bug Zoo 

Pretty Dead Taxidermy is bringing Bug Pinning 

Workshops to the Bug Zoo. 

victoriabugzoo.ca 

13 Wednesday 

RBCM@Home 

O 

Maritime Museum of BC 

11–11:30am, Online 

The Maritime Musuem of BC celebrates the nautical 

culture of British Columbia, through exhibits, 

collections and programs. And recently they’ve 

moved to a new location. 

royalbcmuseum.bc.ca 

17 Sunday 

Family Sunday 

V 

2–4pm, Art Gallery of Greater Victoria 

With special guest, Staches and Lashes. Staches 

and Lashes is a collective of drag performers in 

Victoria who host queer arts events with a focus 

on LGBTQ2 kids and youth programming. 

aggv.ca 

23 Saturday & 24 Sunday 

Wonder Weekend Activity Tour V 

Various times, Royal BC Museum 

Join this tour of Old Town. The first half of the 

hour will be a walking tour of the gallery with 

mysterious and engaging stories told, while the 

second half hour of the tour will be a hands-on 

activity to get us ready for Halloween. 


27 Wednesday 

RBCM@Home 

O 

DIY Halloween Decorations 

11–11:30am, Online 

What you find in your home, in your craft box or 

your recycling bin, can be just the thing you need 

to decorate your front porch/ kitchen/ bedroom 

for the season. Gather up whatever you can find 

and get ready for some spooky and creative fun. 


31 Sunday 

Happy Halloween 

NOVEMBER 

11 Thursday 

Remembrance Day 

17 Wednesday – 21 Sunday 

O Christmas Tea 

Various times; Courtenay, Duncan, Sidney 

and Nanaimo (Returning Dec 19 for two final 

shows at Victoria’s Royal Theatre) 

British comedians James & Jamesy bring their 

unique brand of hilarity back to Vancouver Island 

in their theatrical holiday classic O Christmas 

Tea: A British Comedy. It’s unlike anything you 

have seen before. The spectacle brings people 

together much like a panto, with cleverly crafted 

interactive elements, yet James & Jamesy’s spectacular 

physical comedy and endearing chemistry 

provide the real magic of this play. 

jamesandjamesy.com 

21 Sunday 

Family Sunday 

2–4pm, Art Gallery of Greater Victoria 

Featuring Coup des Déesses (Strike of the 

Goddesses)! 

aggv.ca 

20 Saturday & 21 Sunday 

Wonder Weekend Activity Tour V 

Various times, Royal BC Museum 

Roam the Natural History gallery and look at 

animals as big as a mammoth and as small as a 

moth. In the second half hour of the tour there will 

be a hands-on activity that will help us connect 

deeper to the natural world. 


Ongoing 

Museum Tots 

V 

Saturdays, 11am–12:30pm, Maritime Museum 

This weekly program introduces children ages 

3–5 to the fun world of museum learning. Each 

week’s program revolves around a new theme, 

encouraging children to learn through crafts, play, 

song and dance. 

mmbc.bc.ca/events 

Junior Nature Sketch 

V 

Saturdays, 10am–noon, Oct 2–Nov 13, 

Robert Bateman Gallery 

For children 5 to 12. No previous drawing experience 

is required. 

Nature Sketch 

V 

Saturdays, 1–3pm from Oct 2–Nov 13, 

Robert Bateman Gallery 

For teens, adults and seniors, from 14 and up! 

No previous drawing experience is required. 

Outdoor Family Storytimes V 

Tuesdays, 10:30–11am, various locations 

Fun-filled stories, songs, rhymes and puppets for 

young children and their families. Children must 

be accompanied by an adult. Drop-in. COVID-19 

protocols will be in place. 

gvpl.ca 

V 


Pumpkin Carving Contest 

N 

Daily until Oct 30, Online 

Carve up your best book- or library-inspired 

pumpkin and send us a photo for your chance to 

win a prize. Email entries to kparker@virl.bc.ca 

by Oct 30. 

virl.ca 

Nature Art Challenge 

P 

Daily until Oct 18, Online 

Gather natural materials like leaves, nuts, cones, 

sticks, rocks, shells…whatever you can find…and 

get creative. Snap a photo of your art and send it 

to sidney@virl.bc.ca with “Nature Art Challenge” 

in the subject line. Every entry earns a ballot in 

the Hibernation Kit prize draw. 

virl.ca 

Halloween Scavenger Hunt N 

Daily from Oct 12–30, Online 

Stop by the library anytime this month to participate 

in our fang-tastic Halloween Scavenger hunt. 

Find all 8 hidden items and enter for your chance 

to win a spook-tacular prize! 

virl.ca 

Teen Spooky Art Gallery 

N 

Daily from Oct 18–30, Port Alberni Branch 

Library 

Submit spooky or Halloween-themed art pieces 

to be displayed and be entered into a draw to 

win a prize. All submissions must include a short 

description, the artist’s name or initials and be 

appropriate for public display. All mediums are 

welcome. Drop off submissions at the library between 

Oct 12–16. 

virl.ca 

South Cowichan Family Storytime CV 

Mondays, 10:30–11am, Mill Bay Branch Library 

Bring the whole family for stories, songs, and fun 

at the Mill Bay Centre playground, rain or shine. 

For ages 0–5 and their adults. Each Monday until 

Nov 1, except for Oct 11, Thanksgiving. 

virl.bc.ca 

Mother Goose Goes Zooming CV 

Wednesdays, 11–11:30am, Duncan Branch Library 

Parent–Child Mother Goose Goes Zooming will 

still be a playful, experience for birth to 2 years, 

but we will be on our computer and you will be on 

yours. Facilitators will do 30 minutes of program 

and then there will be time to visit with families 

online. 

virl.ca 

MIGHTY MAESTRO RETURNS 

November 7 @ 2:30 pm 

Farquhar at UVic 

Mighty Maestro returns to take you on a tour of the instruments in 

the orchestra to discover magical music musicians create. Join us for 

a fun, interactive journey through the world of the orchestra and 

don’t forget to come dressed as your favourite superhero! 

Tickets can be purchased by calling Farquhar at UVic at 

250.721.8480 or online by visiting victoriasymphony.ca 

Open House 

Saturday, January 22 

10am–1pm 

Contact us for more information 

A local non-profit for all children (Since 1973) 

5575 West Saanich Rd info@islandmontessori.com 

250 592 4411 www.islandmontessori.com 

• before and after 

school care 

• small class sizes 

• supportive and 

caring staff 

• excellent academic 

foundation 

• Kodaly music 

program 

• lovely rural location 

connecting children 

to nature 

www.nicoledurkanphotography.com | Instagram @nicole.durkan.photography | Facebook Nicole Durkan Photography 



wHat’sfordINNeR 

Healthy Halloween Fare 

Halloween celebrations are often synonymous with candy. But they don’t have to be. Leave the candy for the trick-or-treats 

and serve some ghoulishly healthy food instead! These recipes are perfect whether you’re throwing a Halloween party or 

wanting to fill your kids up with something a bit healthier before they head out with their treat bags. 

Monster Pizza Faces 

(Prep time: 5 to 10 minutes, 

Bake time: 10 minutes) 

Mini pizzas are fun for kids to make and decorate 

themselves! Offer a bunch of different 

ingredients and a choice of orange or white 

cheese. You may even find them choosing to 

try something new, just because it was the 

right colour for their monster face. 

Tiny pizzas can be made using small portions 

of pizza dough. However, this recipe is 

for English muffins, because they’re so much 

easier. Perfect when you need a quick meal. 

If you want to use pizza dough, form pizzas 

using about 1 ⁄2 cup of dough per pizza. Then 

bake for 20 minutes instead. 

Orange Pumpkin Hummus 

(Total time: 10 minutes) 

Everyone loves to dip vegetables, pitas and 

corn chips. This pumpkin hummus is great 

way to fuel your little ghosts and goblins. 

1 can of chickpeas 

2 ⁄3 cup of pumpkin puree 

2 Tbsp water 

2 Tbsp olive oil 

1 Tbsp tahini 

2 tsp lemon juice 

1 tsp garlic powder 

1 ⁄2 tsp salt, to taste 

2 Tbsp toasted pumpkin seeds 

1. Drain and rinse the chickpeas. Place 

them in a food processor or blender with 

the pumpkin puree, water, olive oil, tahini, 

lemon juice, garlic powder and salt. Pulse 

until smooth and well blended. It might take 

a bit more water to get the chickpeas to fully 

blend. 

2. Taste and adjust the salt as needed. 

Spoon into a bowl for serving and top with 

the pumpkin seeds. 

Ghoulish Guacamole 

(Total time: 5 minutes) 

This ghoulish guacamole is packed with 

healthy fats, vitamin and minerals. To turn it 

into a meal, serve it with simple quesadillas 

made from flour tortillas stuffed with refried 

beans and cheese. 

4 avocados 

1 Tbsp lime juice 

1 ⁄2 tsp salt 

1⁄4 tsp garlic powder 

1⁄4 cup of sour cream 

2 Roma tomatoes 

1. Remove the pit and scoop the avocado 

out into a medium sized serving bowl. Use a 

fork to mash the avocado. 

2. Add the lime juice, salt and garlic powder. 

Stir to mix all of the ingredients. 

3. Spread the sour cream around the edge 

of the guacamole dip. 

4. Finely chop the tomato. Drain any liquid 

from the tomatoes. Spread the tomatoes out 

on top of the sour cream. 

5. Serve with corn chips. 

4 English muffins 

1 small can of pizza sauce 

1 cup of grated cheese 

Other toppings 

1. Preheat the oven to 400˚F. 

2. Prepare your pizzas while the oven 

preheats. Slice the English muffins in half, 

so each English muffin makes two monster 

faces. 

3. Spread the cut side of the English muffin 

with pizza sauce. Then encourage your kids 

to make monster faces from whatever you 

happen to have in the kitchen. If they are old 

enough, they can slice and dice everything 

to exactly the shape they need. Younger 

children may need a bit more help with their 

monster creations. Offer ingredients like 

mushrooms, peppers, tomatoes. Get creative 

with frozen peas or corn, sliced olives, or 

pickles. Even sliced fruit can make fun and 

delicious pizza toppings. 

4. Place the pizza faces on a cookie sheet 

and bake for 8 to 10 minutes, until the cheese 

is melted. 


Dill Pickle Popcorn 

(Total time: 15 to 20 minutes) 

Popcorn is an easy, healthy and delicious 

treat! Stove-top popcorn is also zero-waste! 

Here’s a simple recipe for stove top dill pickle 

popcorn. Yum! 

Probably the hardest ingredient to find is 

citric acid. It provides the tanginess in this 

recipe. If you don’t have it in your cupboard, 

leave it out along with the coriander and 

mustard seeds, for a ranch flavoured popcorn 

instead. 

Spice mix 

1 1 ⁄2 tsp coriander seeds 

1⁄4 tsp yellow mustard seeds 

1⁄4 tsp dill seed 

1⁄2 tsp dried dill 

1⁄4 tsp garlic powder 

1 ⁄4 tsp onion powder 

1⁄4 tsp citric acid 

1 tsp salt, to taste 

Popcorn 

2 Tbsp of vegetable oil 

1⁄2 cup of popcorn kernels 

6 Tbsp melted butter 

1. Mix the seeds in a spice grinder and 

grind to a fine powder. Mix the freshly ground 

spices in a small bowl with the rest of the 

spice mix. Set aside while you make the 

popcorn. 

2. Place the vegetable oil in the bottom of 

a large pot with 3 popcorn kernels. Put the 

lid on the pot and place it over medium heat. 

3. When one of the kernels pops, the pot 

is hot enough to make popcorn. Add the rest 

of the kernels and gently shake the pot over 

the burner. Get your older kids to help! It’s 

fun to listen to the popcorn pop! 

4. Once most of the kernels have popped, 

dump the popcorn in a large bowl. Melt the 

butter and drizzle it over the popcorn. Toss to 

mix, then add your spice mix and toss again. 

5. Serve immediately or store in a zip-top 

bag for up to two days. 

supports quality programming 

for families with children facing 

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supports quality summer programming for families with children 

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Have you ever wondered about the future and 

supports what You it quality might gifts promotes 

summer bring to programming 

kids families being kids with for 

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supports designating quality Community summer programming Options for for families Children with children and 

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leaving facing a gift disabilities through within your your will or community. any other gift 

planning instrument (gifts of stock). Community 

Options has supported tens of thousands of 

families in the community over the past 30+ 

supports years—supporting quality summer programming a better quality for families of life with for children 


families on Southern Vancouver Island. 

You For gifts more promotes information, kids being please kids this contact summer! 

Kathleen Burton, Executive Director 

You gifts promotes 250.380.6363 kids being ext kids 205 this summer! 

You gifts promotes kids being kids this summer! 

Emillie Parrish 

writes from Victoria and 

Saturna Island. She is 

the author of the Pacific 

Northwest lifestyle blog 

BerriesAndBarnacles.com. 



Top 5 Fall Activities 

for Families in Whistler 

Fall in Whistler offers an abundance 

of activities, wide-open spaces and a 

unique, laid-back pace. It is important to 

plan ahead and the Doors Open Directory 

(whistler.com/doors-open/) shows 

you what’s open in Whistler and how 

businesses are upholding the highest of 

standards in health and safety for all. 

Here are the top 5 ways to take in the fall 

season with your family. 

1. Arts and Culture 

Fall is the perfect time for exploring 

new things like arts and culture. Whistler’s 

Cultural Connector (cdn.whistler. 

com) is a scenic pathway and bikeway 

that links six significant cultural institutions 

in Whistler and identifies noteworthy 

points and anecdotes. It is a chance 

to learn about the community’s cultural 

evolution over time. Not only can you 

discover BC art at the Audain Art Museum 

and learn more about Whistler’s 

indigenous heritage at the Squamish 

Lil’wat Cultural Centre but you can also 

discover art in some unexpected places 

such as Whistler’s Train Wreck Hike. 

Train Wreck features graffiti train cars 

and spectacular views of Cheakamus 

River. 

2. Whistler’s Valley Trail 

Enjoy Whistler’s fall colours by exploring 

Whistler’s Valley Trail (whistler.com/ 

activities/valley-trail), a car-free, paved 

trail and boardwalk network connecting 

Whistler’s neighbourhoods, lakes, 

viewpoints and picnic spots. Discover 

the spectacular scenery and beautiful 

natural surroundings by biking, walking 

running, cycling, skating or rollerblading 

with over 40 km of trail to choose from 

and best of all the family dog can come 

along, too. 

3. Explore the Wilderness 

Explore Whistler’s Wilderness with an 

off-road buggy experience (canadianwilderness.com) 

with Canadian Wilderness 

Adventures. Climb rugged mountain 

roads and forested single-track trails up 

to scenic mountain viewpoints on this 

epic journey. Power through creeks and 

over boulders, watching for wildlife 

along the way. Alternatively, take in a 

bear tour with Whistler Photo Safaris 

(whistlerphotosafaris.com. These one of 

a kind educational expeditions take place 

on 2010 Olympic ski trails in a 4x4 while 

accessing the most spectacular features of 

the Whistler Olympic Park. 

4. Family Mealtime 

Eat, drink and embrace autumn with 

special offers available (whistler.com/dining/) 

at some of Whistler’s top restaurants 

from September until late November. 

Mealtime is a great opportunity to share 


your favourite parts of the day and plan 

your next adventure. Whistler has many 

family-friending restaurants; a few trusty 

ones for kid-approved food at a good 

price are Old Spaghetti Factory, Hunter 

Gather and Caramba. There are also 

plenty of grab-and-go options if you need 

something a bit quicker and if you’re 

staying in a vacation rental you can even 

take advantage of the Whistler Cooks 

Fridge Full service and eat well without 

the hard work. 

5. Sightseeing on Mountain in 

Whistler 

Visiting mid-week? You can still get 

up the mountain on a Canadian Wilderness 

Blackcomb Glacier Safari Jeep tour 

(canadianwilderness.com/whistler/4x4- 

tours/). No two tours are the same as the 

changing mountain colours and wildlife 

create new paths for exploration. Ascend 

from Whistler Valley past glacier fed 

rivers. View bears and other mountain 

wildlife on the way to the snow-capped 

Horstman Glacier. 

Reducing holiday food waste starts with rethinking 

how we shop. Turkey leftovers are only loved for so 

long, so size your bird accordingly—and your sides, too! 

Tania Sear is the Manager of Travel Media 

for Tourism Whistler. 

LET’S STOP WASTING FOOD. 

crd.bc.ca/lovefood 



Kids’READS 

Halloween & Stories 

for the Night 

After a delightful summer getting 

to know my new baby girl, I am 

back to reviewing picture books 

for you. This time we’re going to enjoy 

some spook-tastic stories in honour of 

Halloween. I was considering giving 

them a scare rating, but that really depends 

on your children. For example, 

I asked my two sons if they wanted to 

hear any of the scary stories and the 

oldest one flat out refused because they 

were too scary while the younger one 

animal or fantasy creature? And what 

scares monsters? This hilarious textbook 

of Monstronomy is fabulously illustrated 

and when you’re done reading it, you 

can walk away with a super serious diploma 

and the title of monster scientist. 

For ages 3 to 7. 

One of the first things you should 

know about Owling: Enter the World 

of the Mysterious Birds of the Night by 

Mark Wilson (Storey, 2019) is that the 

cover glows in the dark. And if your 

you will also be entertained. For ages 8 

to 12. 

In The Babysitter from Another 

Planet by Stephen Savage (Neal Porter 

Books, 2019), Mom and Dad go out to 

the movies and leave their two children 

in the care of an alien. It’s a little weird 

at first, but in the end, the two siblings 

would never want another babysitter. 

This is a good bedtime story for days 

when you don’t want to talk because not 

every page has words on it, so you can 

was super excited and a little upset that 

he couldn’t hear these stories every day. 

But in case you do have a more easily 

frightened child, know that not all 

books on this list are scary. In fact, I 

would argue that none of them are, but I 

will leave that up to you to decide. 

In Monsters 101 by Cale Atkinson 

(Tundra, 2020) you and your children 

can learn everything you ever wanted 

to know about monsters: where do they 

sleep? What do they like to eat? What 

makes a monster a monster instead of an 

children love glow-in-the-dark items 

the way mine do, that is a huge selling 

feature. The next thing you should 

know is that the photographs in this 

book are stunning. Wilson is a wildlife 

photojournalist and he has been caring 

for owls and teaching people about 

them for more than 25 years. And while 

some non-fiction books may be boring 

and feel like you are reading a school 

textbook, Owling is nothing like that. 

Wilson interweaves facts and humour, 

so while you will learn a lot about owls, 

let them enjoy the images and giggle at 

the silly things the babysitter does and 

save your voice. For ages 3 to 7. 

The Bat (Tundra, 2016) is part of 

Elise Gravel’s Disgusting Critters series, 

where she teaches children about different 

animals or insects with her characteristic 

comic book style artwork. In 

this short book, children can learn about 

echolocation, what the bat’s scientific 

name means, how they use their hands 

to fly, and many other tiny tidbits. For 

ages 3 to 7. 


The final book is In the Dark: The 

Science of What Happens at Night by 

Lisa Deresti Betik and illustrated by Josh 

Holinaty (Kids Can Press, 2020) teaches 

children about the night. Betik explains 

what happens when children don’t get 

enough sleep, moon gardens, light pollution 

and so much more. For ages 8 to 

12. 

STAGES 

Summer Programs 

BusINesses 

yoUNeedtoKNow 

Running This July & August 

Christina Van 

Starkenburg lives 

in Victoria with her 

husband, children and 

cat. She is the author of 

One Tiny Turtle: A Story 

You Can Colour and 

many articles. To read 

more of her work and learn about her upcoming 

books visit christinavanstarkenburg.com. Facebook: 

facebook.com/christinavanstarkenburg 

and Twitter: @Christina_VanS. 

ms will be running (hopefully) in 

person, These or online... local businesses are family-focused and committed to our community and helping you. 

eschool Dance Camps 

Emmanuel Baptist Church 

Child Care 

or 3-5 year olds in Ballet, Jazz, 

Musical Theatre & Tap 

Day Care spaces available 

daycare@emmanuelvictoria.ca 

After School Care for Campus View 

and Frank Hobbs Schools 

We are taking a waitlist: 

afterschool@emmanuelvictoria.ca 

2121 Cedar Hill X Road (by entrance to UVic) 

250 598 0573 

h Dance Camps 

ncers 6-12 years old in 

Hip Hop & Acrobatics 

Through these times let’s be 

careful & kind out there 

emmanuelvictoria.ca click on Child Care tab 

Dance Intensive 

For dancers 11 years old & up with 

Jazz, Ballet, Hip Hop & Acrobatics 

Little Dancers Classes 

Are running through the summer for 

those 18 months to 3 years old 

STAGES Summer Programs 

Come Dance With Us 



Call (250) 384-3267, email: stagesdance@shaw.ca, 

Running or visit This us July at & www.stagesdance.com 

August 

Come Dance 

With 

Through these times 

let’s be careful & 

kind out there 


Come Dance 

STAGES 






STAGES 

Come Dance 

With Us 

Call (250) 384-3267, 

Email: stagesdance@shaw.ca, 

or visit us at 

www.stagesdance.com 




FREE services are open to ALL single 

parents in Greater Victoria who are 

caring for children at home ages 0–18 

• Market Day – Weekly Food Support 

• Free Clothing Room 

• 1-1 Counselling & Coaching 

• Support Groups & Courses 

250-385-1114 | 1-Up.ca 


PResCHool&CHIldCaRedirECtory 

❖ Comprehensive programs for 

Preschool through Grade 11 

❖ Delivering academic excellence through 

music, dance, drama and visual arts 

❖ Outstanding educators, 

locations and facilities 

www.ArtsCalibre.ca 250.382.3533 

Castleview Child Care .......... 250-595-5355 

Learning Through Play & Discovery. 

Licensed non-profit, ECE staff. Since 1958. 

Morning or full-time care. 

castleviewchildcarecentre.com 

Christ Church Cathedral Childcare 

& Jr. Kindergarten .................250-383-5132 

ECE and specialist teachers provide an 

outstanding all day licensed program for 

2.5–5 year olds at our Fairfield and 

Gordon Head locations. 

cathedralschool.ca 

Island Kids Academy 

Esquimalt .............................250-381-2929 

High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched 

Curriculum. Includes Music Classes and 

Character Development using the Virtues 

Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca 

Nightingale Preschool & 

Junior Kindergarten Ltd ....... 250-595-7544 

We offer education through creativity and play, providing 

rich learning experiences through a well sourced 

and stimulating indoor and outdoor environment. Early 

years reading programme. nightingalepreschool.com. 

Arts/Drama programme. kidsworks.ca 

Pre-School 

Junior Kindergarten 

PacificChristian.ca 

250-479-4532 

Educational Excellence to the Glory of God 

Rainbows 

& Dreams 

Preschool 

Offering small classes, creative 3–5 year 

and kindie programs. Safe, fun, nurturing 

environment to learn and grow. 

250-479-1966 4184 Keewatin Place, Victoria 

Ready Set Grow Preschool ....250-472-1530 

Join our learning through play preschool located 

in Hillcrest Elem. Our caring ECEs offer 

an enriched Program for 3-4 hour, 2-5 days a 

week and help with kindergarten transition. 

heoscmanager@gmail.com 

SeeDLiNGS 

Forest Education 

Where nature becomes the Teacher! 

Seedlings Forest Education is a Nature based program 

that includes After School Care, Nature Preschool, Parent 

Workshops, Saturday Seedlings, Summer Camps and more! 

250-880-0660 seedlingsforesteducation.com 

Sir James Douglas 

Preschool ............................250-389-0500 

Fun, creative and educational ECE program 

for 3-5 year olds to grow and develop life 

long skills. Come play and learn in our bright 

and modern centre in Fairfield. 

sjdoutofschoolclub.com 

Victoria Montessori ............. 250-380-0534 

Unique, innovative learning environment 

combining the best of Montessori and 

Learning Through Play. Open year round. 

30mths–K. 

victoriamontessori.com 

La Pré-Maternelle 

Appletree Preschool ...............250-479-0292 

French immersion preschool. Group child 

care programs. 30 months to school age. 

Christian centre. 

prematernelleappletree.com 

St. Margaret’s School Jr. Kindergarten 

Apply now for our Early Learning (JK and 

Kindergarten) Programs. Early learning at SMS is 

a curriculum-based program for 3 and 4 year olds. 

St. Margaret’s School 

250-479-7171 | admissions@stmarg.ca 

722 Johnson St,Victoria,BC 

604.366.7080 

willowbraeacademy.com 

9006admin@willowbraechildcare.com 

We implement 

a play-based 

curriculum where 

our trained professionals 

develop 

and adapt individual 

programs 

by observing 

and listening 

to your child. 

Call your local CCRR for free referrals and resources. 

Victoria & Gulf Islands: 250-382-7000 or 1-800-750-1868 

Sooke: 250-642-5152 West Shore: 250-940-4882 

Cowichan Valley: 250-746-4135 local 231 

PacificCare (Ladysmith north): 250-756-2022 or 1-888-480-2273 


Victoria & Area Peninsula Westshore Cowichan Valley Nanaimo & Area 

Carrot Seed Preschool ..........250-658-2331 

Where children can discover, imagine, 

construct and learn through play. 

Wondrous natural playground. 

carrotseedpreschool.com 

Island Montessori House ...... 250-592-4411 

Inclusive, integrated and nurturing Preschool 

and Before/After School Care programs. 

Lovely rural setting with a focus on nature 

and outdoor environmental activities. 

islandmontessori.com 

Sidney Preschool 

We are a licensed co-operative preschool 

with a philosophy of learning through play! 

Four hour program, four days per week, for 

children ages 2.5-5 years. Celebrating 49 

years! sidneypreschoolteacher@gmail.com, 

sidneypreschool.com 

w ild c h ild 

e a r l y l ear n i n g c e n t r e 

• Licensed program for 

3–5 year olds 

• Nature focused 

• 3 hour morning classes 

Exciting new learn-throughplay 

program in Saanichton, 

ideal for Peninsula families 

www.wcelc.ca 

The first steps in 

your child’s education 

Call for more information today: 250.746.3654 

Queen Margaret’s School .......250-746-4185 

Early Childhood Education Program. Co-ed 

nurturing curriculum to develop the whole 

child. Healthy snacks and lunch provided. 

qms.bc.ca. 

• Licensed programs, for children 3–5 years 

• Flexible part-time schedules • Supported spaces available 

• 3 and 4 hour morning classes 

Encouraging your child’s development and 

learning through play and exploration 

Fullobeans.ca 250-360-1148 E: fullobeans@snplace.org 

Sunrise Waldorf School 

Preschool ..............................250-743-7253 

In a warm environment, this nature and 

play-based program enlivens and 

nurtures the growing child. 

sunrisewaldorfschool.org 

Island Kids Academy 

View Royal .......................... 250-727-2929 

High quality child care (ages 1-5). Enriched 

Curriculum. Includes Music Classes and 

Character Development using the Virtues 

Project. Wait list being taken. Islandkids.ca 

Metchosin Co-Op Preschool 

A Co-operative preschool in 

the heart of rural Metchosin. 

The best place to be. 

Take a virtual tour today! 

metchosinpreschool.com 

250-478-9241 metchosinpreschool@gmail.com 

Junior Kindergarten to Grade 12 

Learn more today! 250-390-2201 AspengroveSchool.ca 

NANAIMO’ S JK–12 INTERNATIONAL 

BACCALAUREATE WORLD SCHOOL 

Little Star Children’s Centre ..........250-752-4554 

Little Gems Infant & Toddler Care..250-228-5437 

Mother, Daughter owned and operated. Earth 

friendly preschool education inspired by nature. 

Infused with fun and creative daily yoga 

practices! Licensed group care. Enthusiastic 

ECE instructors. littlestardaycare.ca 

Nestled on 4 acres of lush west coast forest, our Award 

winning, Nature based program will not disappoint! 

While firmly embracing the Reggio-Emila (Italy) Philosophy 

our dedicated team of educators use the environment 

as the third teacher as we encourage your child 

throughout their day. 

Our purpose built facilities have been handmade using the 

trees from our forest. Come take a virtual tour on our website! 

lexieslittlebears.ca 

Waitlist: 250-590-3603 

Programs for Infants/Toddlers/Pre-school Age. 

BC Award of Excellence in Childcare & Prime Minister’s Award of Excellence in Early Childhood Education. 



CutitOut! 

Healthy Anxiety 

Children need to experience healthy 

anxiety. Everybody does. Just the 

right amount of frustration or concern 

motivates us to take useful action. 

With healthy anxiety, we prepare for our 

presentation, study for that test, or put on 

our seat belt. If we take over our children’s 

responsibility, we carry their healthy anxiety 

for them. We end up worrying about their 

responsibility, so they don’t have to. When 

we do this, we rob them of important steps 

toward maturity. 

Many people say that when they were 

kids, they were way more resilient and 

responsible. 

STAGES 

Performing Arts School 

since 1980 

Come Dance With Us 

• Offering classes for Teens & Pre-Teens in Jazz, Ballet, 

Lyrical, Tap. Musical Theatre, Acrobatics & Hip Hop, 

in a non-competitive atmosphere. 

• Not sure which class to take? 

- Try a Drop-In: 

No hassle, No Obligation. 

Daytime Pre-School Classes 

for the little angels... 

STAGES Performing Arts School 

#301 1551 Cedar Hill X Rd 

(behind the Shelbourne MacDonalds) 

Call 250-384-3267 Email us at: stagesdance@shaw.ca 

Or visit our website: www.stagesdance.com 

Why was that? 

Is it because they were a well behaved, 

obedient child? I doubt it. That kind of 

pseudo maturity falls apart when the structures 

collapse. If mom or dad isn’t there to 

notice, correct, reward or punish, then why 

bother? True responsibility comes from the 

inside. It doesn’t have to be monitored, 

praised or rewarded although we all like a 

little appreciation and acknowledgement. 

Self-discipline is not an act of people 

pleasing, it is the relationship you have 

with your values. It’s doing the right thing 

because you understand why. Of course, 

this takes time but what sends a child in 

the right direction is allowing them to face 

surmountable challenges. 

We release responsibility to children 

slowly and with guidance. We teach them 

how to do a task and watch over them 

while they put that learning into action (or 

not). We give them space to struggle and 

think things through before we give them a 

reminder. We might even see them struggle, 

just a little, as we hold our breath before 

jumping in. Eventually, they learn to pull 

themselves up into the swing, tie their own 

shoelaces, take care of their schoolwork, 

get themselves ready and so on. When the 

timing is right, we lovingly pull back. 

How can we nurture the security in our 

child to struggle just enough, and to ask 

for help when they need it? 

Pick up on the signals when a child is 

seeking more independence. 

Avoid taking over, you are way too good 

at doing all these things. 

When a child has a problem, stand behind 

them. Pull out their resources – What could 

work? What has worked before? How can 

I help? 

When a child knows we have their back 

and we believe in them, they are motivated 

by the hope of success rather than paralyzed 

by the fear of failure. 

Dr. Allison Rees is a parent 

educator, counsellor and coach at 

LIFE Seminars (Living in Families 

Effectively), lifeseminars.com. 


westcoast 

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Vol. IV, Ed. I 

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MARCH | APRIL 2020 

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Little Phoenix Child Care Centre is a non-profit social enterprise of the Victoria Social Innovation 

Centre in the heart of the North Park neighbourhood. Little Phoenix provides a welcoming space 

for all families and children with a focus on fostering a culture of belonging, and supporting each 

child's optimal health and wellbeing. For more information please contact: 

778-269-CARE (778-269-2273) 

Victoria Social Innovation Centre | 1004 North Park Street, Victoria BC 

director@littlephoenixchildcare.ca | www.littlephoenixchildcare.ca

Island Parent Magazine Oct-Nov 2021

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