VL - Issue 42 - January 2022

REAL PEOPLE | REAL STORIES | REAL HOPE 

GOD RESTORES WHAT HAS 

BEEN TAKEN 

DAR VUELTA 

PARA VER 

EN ESPAÑOL 

TRUTHS TO REMEMBER IN 

THE WILDERNESS 

A magazine 

on a mission: 

see page 2 

WANT 

A NEW 

LIFE? 

OPEN THE DOOR OF 

YOUR HEART TO A 

MERCIFUL GOD 

Issue 01 / 2022

VICTORIOUS LIVING 

DELIVERS HOPE TO THE 

INCARCERATED. 

Since 2013, the lives of over one million inmates 

in more than two thousand prisons have been 

impacted through the outreaches of Victorious 

Living. We provide: 

Real life testimonies of the transforming 

power of Jesus Christ through our bilingual 

magazine, available in jails and 

prisons in print and digital formats. 

Are you an inmate 

in prison who needs 

encouragement? 

Write to us and become 

an important part of 

our Victorious Living 

Family. 

Christian discipleship to inmates through 

personal correspondence, devotionals, 

broadcasts, and podcasts. 

Connection to national organizations that 

provide helpful resources for current and 

former inmates and their families. 

Prison outreach tools for local churches 

to carry out God’s command to remember 

the prisoner. 

Every prison inmate who 

writes to our ministry receives 

personal correspondence, 

quarterly Bible teachings, 

and a personal subscription to 

our magazine. 

+ 

Discover life-changing 

resources on EDOVO 

prison tablets. 

Write to: 

VL Correspondence 

PO Box 2751 

Greenville, NC 27836 

We regret that due to the high transitional 

rate of inmates in jail (not prison), we 

are unable to correspond with or send 

individual copies of VLMag to inmates 

incarcerated in a jail. Please have your 

chaplain visit our website or contact us 

for access to free downloadable Bible 

teachings and broadcasts.

ISSUE 1, JANUARY 2022 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek 

his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5–6 NLT 

Publisher & Executive Director 

Kristi Overton Johnson 

Director of Partner Care & Development 

Pat Avery 

Cover Photography 

Mary Whitmer 

Editor 

Rachel Overton 

Spanish Editorial Team 

Karissa Anderson, Proofreader 

Monica Colangelo, Translator 

Creative Designer 

Lauren Jones 

Production Manager 

Christina Kimbrel 

Social Media Manager 

Sheridan Correa 

Digital Content Manager 

Roman Randall 

Hispanic Outreach Director 

Denise San Miguel 

Contributing Writers 

Lisa Appelo 

Roy A. Borges 

Ron Capell 

Kristi Dews Dale 

Sharon Dutra 

Sandra Hardee 

Maureen Hooker 


Christina Kimbrel 

Rodney Massey 

Manny Mill 

Kenny Munds 

Photography 

Tashi-Delek 

Haley Manning Photography 

Todd Ristorcelli 

Geri Simpkins 

Eric Stolz 

Jim Whitmer Photography 

Mary Whitmer 

Artwork 

Jared Emerson 

Accounting Manager 

Gizella Guba 

Director of Prison Correspondence 

Carla Owens 

Victorious Living magazine is a publication of 

Kristi Overton Johnson Ministries, a 501c3 organization. 

The articles featured in Victorious Living are designed to inspire and encourage 

our readers by sharing powerful testimonies from people who, we believe, have 

been transformed by God's grace, love, and power. The articles are focused on the 

individual's testimony. Although we conduct some independent research, we rely 

heavily on the information provided to us by those we interview. Our articles are not 

intended to be an endorsement of the views, opinions, choices, or activities of the 

persons whose stories we feature. 

HOW TO REACH VICTORIOUS LIVING 

General, Subscription, and Partnership Inquiries 

• Victorious Living 

PO Box 2801, Greenville, NC 27836 

• 352-478-2098 

• admin@vlmag.org 

All Prison Inmate Correspondence 

Victorious Living Correspondence Outreach 


Scripture Permissions 

All Scripture marked NIV is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®, 

copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. | All Scripture marked NLT is taken from 

the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House 

Foundation. All Scripture is used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. 

A menos que se indique lo contrario, todas las citas de las escrituras están tomadas 

de la Santa Biblia, Nueva Versión Internacional® NVI®, copyright © 1999, 2015 por 

Biblica, Inc.®, Inc.® | La escritura marcada NTV es tomada de La Santa Biblia, Nueva 

Traducción Viviente, © Tyndale House Foundation, 2010. | Toda la escritura usado con 

permiso. Reservados todos los derechos en todo el mundo. 

VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 

Issue 01 / 2022 

3

30 

OUR OUTREACH IS 

PARTNER SUPPORTED 

Here’s how you can help us deliver 

hope to the incarcerated. 

SHARE 

Share VL with your local church, 

chaplain, jail, or prison. 

SUBSCRIBE 

Subscribe to GET a copy of VL, and 

you’ll GIVE one to an inmate too! 

SUPPORT 

Support us financially. Every dollar 

sends a copy of VL into a jail or prison. 

SPONSOR 

Sponsor jails and prisons to receive 

quarterly cases of VL. 

Your tax-deductible gift saves lives! 

@victoriouslivingmag 

CALL: 352-478-2098 

VISIT: VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

ISSUE 1, JANUARY 2022 

CONTENTS 

8 

9 

STEPPING FORWARD 

Take Time to Listen 

BY KENNY MUNDS 

Serve with Gladness 

27 

Trust and Obey: It’s Not Easy, 

but It’s Worth It 

BY ROY A. BORGES 

What Roy wanted was not exactly what 

God had planned. When he finally let 

go and turned to God in trust, he found 

abundant blessing, even in the waiting. 

18 

Wait for God’s Choice 

THE STORY OF RON CAPELL 

A successful corporate executive, Ron 

was living his dreams—until the day he 

realized he’d left the truly important 

things, like family and God, behind. 

BY KRISTI DEWS DALE 

DOUBLE FEATURE COVER * 

15 

28 

10 

Truths to Remember in 

the Wilderness 

BY LISA APPELO 

Accept God’s Invitation 

BY KRISTI OVERTON JOHNSON 

TRANSFORMED 

LIVES 

It’s Never Too Late 

BY CHRISTINA KIMBREL 

She was encouraged as a child to write, 

but Christina would find her dream 

untouchable…until she surrendered to 

God, and He turned her life around. 

12 

16 

FEATURES 

God Restores What Has Been 

Taken 

THE STORY OF SHARON DUTRA 

At 29 with a long criminal record, 

Sharon had broken everything she’d 

ever touched—but that didn’t stop God 

from reaching into her dark prison cell 

to offer help, hope, and new life. 

God Uses the Willing Heart 

THE STORY OF SANDRA HARDEE 

Ask God to open your eyes to the 

opportunities around you to serve 

others in His name, then step out in 

faith with a heart that is willing to 

serve. You’ll never regret it. 

20 * Tired of Running and 

Ready to Live 

24 

THE STORY OF MANNY MILL 

Manny was on the run from the 

FBI when God arrested his heart. 

Surrendering to God meant surrendering 

to the authorities too, and 

Manny spent the next two years in 

prison, but God used that time to 

make him a new man. 

* There’s Hope in the Hands 

of a Merciful God 

THE STORY OF RODNEY MASSEY 

God’s mercy reaches to the deepest 

hell. It’s unending; it’s new every 

morning. Truth is, no matter how far 

you’ve wandered or what you’ve done, 

you can never outrun God’s love. 

COVER PHOTO BY MARY WHITMER 

ON THE COVER 

When Rodney Massey 

(left) and Manny Mill 

opened the doors of 

their hearts to God, 

everything changed. 

They found peace, 

purpose, and power 

in the hands of a 

merciful God. 

30 

Trusting God, Even 

unto Death 

BY MAUREEN HOOKER 

Having survived breast cancer and a 

heart transplant, Maureen was proud 

to claim the power of God in her life. 

But would her trust in Him survive 

the death of her son? 

Today, Rodney and 

Manny help others 

find the courage to 

open their hearts to 

the One who can 

redeem and restore 

broken lives. 

6 

33 

IN EVERY ISSUE 

Publisher’s Note 

Trust His Love; Follow His Way 

Going Deeper 

Trust Your Creator 

34 

Now What/Resources 

I’ve Just Accepted Salvation. 

Now What? 



5

PUBLISHER’S NOTE 

Trust His Love; 

Follow His Way 

If you’d like to partner with 

our magazine to deliver 

God’s hope and to impact 

the lives of incarcerated 

men and women, visit 

victoriouslivingmagazine.com. 

Every dollar you give sends a 

copy of our magazine into a 

prison. Each magazine impacts 

many lives for years to come. 

“G 

od, why did You let that happen?” 

“Lord, why haven’t You answered 

my prayers?” 

“God, why aren’t You doing something 

about this?” 

“God, why would You ask me to do that?!” 

Have you ever asked God questions 

like these? I know I have. You are about to 

read stories from people who trusted God’s 

heart even though they didn’t understand 

His way. 

In theory, trusting God is easy. As Christians, 

we know it’s what we’re “supposed” 

to do. In fact, it’s often the first piece of 

advice we offer in the face of a dilemma. 

“Just trust God, brother,” we say. “Do what 

He says, sister. God won’t fail you.” 

But saying it and doing it are two very 

different things, especially when the wait 

is long, the circumstances are painful, and 

our prayers seem to go unheard. 

In tight circumstances, it’s easy to want 

to grab hold of a situation (or person!) and 

force an outcome. Waiting makes us feel 

out of control. We grow anxious, fearful, 

and even angry with God. All too often, 

we find ourselves following our emotions 

instead of God’s leading. But, as you are 

about to learn, trusting God and waiting on 

Him are worth the effort, because blessings 

come through trusting God. 

Of course, we usually expect God’s blessing 

to be pleasant. After all, if God is good, 

then shouldn’t everything He allows us to 

go through be good, too? We want the promotion, 

good health, financial prosperity, 

freedom, opportunity—all the good things 

we can think of. And sometimes, God does 

bless us with those beautiful things. 

But other times, God’s blessings are the 

fruit of our persevering in trust through a 

long wait or uncomfortable circumstance. 

It’s through those difficult moments that 

God reveals His treasure, faithfulness, and 

power in ways that, but for the pain and the 

wait, we never would have known. After 

reading this issue, you’ll see what I mean. 

For me, trusting God became possible 

the day I realized He loved me. I had heard 

and recited John 3:16 a million times growing 

up—“For God so loved the world that he 

gave his one and only Son, that whoever 

believes in him shall not perish but have 

eternal life” (NIV). I believed in the concept 

of God loving people and sending His Son 

to save us. I even had faith to trust Him for 

salvation through His Son, Jesus. 

But I didn’t understand that God Almighty, 

the Creator of the universe and 

everything in it, loves me, myself, as an individual. 

I didn’t realize He sees me, knows 

me, cares about every detail of my life, has 

a specific plan for me, and is on my side 

(Psalm 139). My life and faith changed the 

day I grasped that God treasures and delights 

in me (Psalm 18:19). He delights in you, too! 

Have you ever realized that God loves 

you as an individual? That He sees you and 

delights in every detail of your life? That 

out of His love, He has crafted a plan and 

a purpose for your life? And that His plan, 

no matter how difficult, can be trusted? 

I pray that, as you read this issue of Victorious 

Living, you will have a fresh revelation 

of God’s love and that His love will make you 

complete. May you, as Paul prayed in Ephesians 

3:18–19, have “the power to understand...how 

wide, how long, how high, and 

how deep his love is. May you experience 

the love of Christ…[and] be made complete 

with all the fullness of life and power that 

comes from God” (NLT). 

Friend, once you understand God’s love 

for you personally and root yourself deep in 

His love, you’ll find the strength to make it 

through even the most challenging storms 

(Ephesians 3:17), and you’ll see God accomplish 

for you more than you can imagine 

or hope (Ephesians 3:20). 


Publisher & Executive Director 

PHOTO BY TODD RISTORCELLI 

6 Issue 01 / 2022 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

Through the stories of 

Victorious Living, men and 

women behind bars meet 

the God of another chance. 

Testimonial: Erving 

I had been incarcerated in federal prison for 

about 6 months when my wife, Denise, told 

me about Victorious Living magazine. I began 

reading the copy she sent me and—wow! The 

stories were amazing. They helped me see that I 

wasn’t alone. 

I wanted to share Victorious Living with the 

other inmates in my facility. I knew the guys 

would benefit from the stories. I showed our 

chaplain the magazine, and then we requested 

copies for our facility. 

I was like a kid in a candy store when that 

box of Victorious Living arrived. I immediately 

passed them out, and the guys loved them, just 

like I knew they would! They found hope, help, 

and encouragement to face each day. 

Over the next several months, the stories in 

VL showed me that God still works in our lives, 

even when we mess up. And that meant He 

could—and would—still work in mine. 

I’m back home now and grateful for 

Victorious Living and the people behind it. My 

wife is now the ministry’s Hispanic Outreach 

Director, and I am on the advisory board! Isn’t 

God amazing? 

SPONSOR A PRISON IN YOUR 

STATE AND IMPACT LIVES TODAY. 

Visit victoriouslivingmagazine.com 



7


Take Time 

to Listen 

BY KENNY MUNDS 

and, most of all, His majesty. I read aloud a daily protection 

prayer given to me by one of my mentors. And then I ask God 

to show me what He wants me to read in His Word. I hear in 

my mind, “First John.” So I read it and carefully look for the 

message God has for me today. I keep a journal nearby to write 

down whatever He reveals to me. 

Next, I ask Him who He wants me to cover in prayer. I think 

of several people and pray for them. I then ask God to guide 

me to where He would have me go today and to use me for His 

purposes. I intentionally slow myself down and refuse to allow 

my flesh to rush me out the door. 

Only then am I ready to go. 

I wish I could say I have this time and dialogue with God 

every morning. I want to, I mean to, and I know I need to—but 

still, I often don’t. And when I don’t, I stumble through the day, 

bouncing off the walls, all the while wondering why I feel so 

anxious and disconnected from God. 

I have learned the hard way the importance of starting each 

day by sharing my heart with God and listening for His voice. 

How else can I develop a deeper relationship with Him and 

know His will except through dialogue with Him? 

I don’t want to be that person who talks incessantly and never 

lets anyone else speak. I know a few people like that, and I confess, 

when I see their names on my phone, I hesitate to answer. 

But how often have I been the incessant one with God? I 

ask Him for things, do most of the talking, and never stop to 

listen to what He has to say. I wouldn’t blame God one bit if He 

ignored my calls. But He doesn’t! 

Talking to God is important, but listening to Him is vital, 

and I’m really trying to get better at actually doing it. I want 

IT’S MORNING. I glance around my little apartment at the 

many signs I’ve purchased over the years from thrift stores and 

flea markets. “I Will Never Fail You.” “Be Still and Know that I 

Am God.” “I Can Do All Things through Christ Who Strengthens 

Me.” “Set Your Mind on Things Above.” Each one reminds me 

of a specific promise in God’s Word. 

From atop the refrigerator, my boombox plays a favorite CD, 

“Hidden in My Heart.” It soothes my soul. It’s a war out there, 

and I need constant reminders that God is on my side. 

You’d think that with all these reminders, I would barrel out 

the door, ready to challenge any foe or dark spirit that awaits 

me and conquer the world. But it takes more than a sign to get 

me ready for whatever battle lies ahead. Not to mention the one 

raging within me—my daily war against anxiety, fear, and doubt. 

And that’s why, before I run out the door, there’s something 

important I need to do. I must stop to pray and wait to hear 

from God. 

So I move over to my recliner and begin to acknowledge my 

Lord and Savior. I praise Him for His undying love and grace 

TALKING TO GOD IS 

IMPORTANT, BUT LISTENING 

TO HIM IS VITAL. 

to listen more closely so I can follow God better. “My sheep 

listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me” 

(John 10:27 NIV). 

Do you feel disconnected from God and overwhelmed? Perhaps 

you need to put on the brakes, find a quiet place, and like 

Psalm 46:10 (and another sign on my wall) says, “Be still and 

know that I am God.” God has so much He wants to say to you, 

so much He wants to show you. Take the time to listen. And 

I’ll try to do the same. 

KENNY MUNDS takes the good news of God’s love and forgiveness into 

prisons and churches across America. To learn more about his ministry, go 

to kennymundsministry.org. 



SERVE WITH GLADNESS 

BY KRISTI DEWS DALE 

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE CREATOR OF 

the world inviting you to breakfast? And 

not only that, then He prepares your meal 

and serves you. Well, that’s exactly what 

happened to Jesus’s disciples. We find this 

account in John 21. 

There, we learn about seven of Jesus’s 

disciples who were fishing in the Sea of 

Galilee at daybreak. They had fished all 

night and caught nothing when Jesus appeared 

on the shore. The disciples didn’t 

recognize Him at first, but then He asked 

them to cast their nets again. In minutes, 

they had caught more fish than their nets 

could hold, and they knew who He was. 

John exclaimed, “It is the Lord!” (John 

21:7). Peter was so excited, he jumped 

right out of the boat and swam to shore! 

The others dragged the miraculous haul 

to shore—153 fish in all—then the men 

hurried to greet Jesus. 

John 21:9–13 tells us that when the disciples 

got to land, they saw a charcoal fire 

with fish laid out on it and bread. Jesus 

invited the disciples to have breakfast with 

Him. What a beautiful scene. 

After the meal, Jesus gave the disciples 

some wise instruction, but I believe we can 

learn much from the circumstances of the 

breakfast itself. In fact, this is my favorite 

part of the story, because it reminds me of 

a simple truth. 

If we want to live as Jesus lived, we must serve 

others as Jesus did. 

Serving is often overlooked and can 

even feel insignificant, but it is essential 

to Christian living. It was the exact reason 

Jesus came. 

Matthew 20:28 tells us that “the Son 

of Man did not come to be served, but to 

serve, and to give his life as a ransom for 

many” (NIV). To serve others with joy, our 

hearts must be humble. In Matthew 11:29, 

Jesus describes Himself as “gentle and 

humble in heart.” 

I can’t say that I am always humble and 

gentle at heart when it comes to service. 

Let’s take an example from my household, 

like when the dishes are piled up in the 

sink, as they often are. 

Just the sight of them can make my heart 

grow frustrated. I start cleaning the dishes, 

but internally, I am entertaining some 

major self-dialogue like: “I am the only one 

doing the dishes. No one else in the family 

is helping me.” 

Thoughts like this make my heart grow 

hard and cold. Before long, my frustration 

bubbles over, and I say to my kids and husband, 

“Guys, I have already washed twenty 

or thirty dishes. Can you all come and help 

too?” (Insert slightly raised voice.) Notice: I 

have even counted the dishes I’ve washed, 

including small spoons and forks. (Do you 

get an idea of my ridiculousness?) 

I don’t think Jesus counted how many 

fish He cooked that morning. I don’t think 

He was angry that the disciples were out 

on the water while He was on the shore 

cooking. No. He lovingly prepared breakfast. 

And He did the work with gladness. 

That’s not always me. Yes, I do the work, 

but too often, I’m not really serving. My 

heart isn’t glad, and I am not gentle or 

humble. 

That’s not how I want to be. So to change 

my attitude, I’ve started listening to worship 

music while doing the dishes. It calms 

my spirit and reminds me that washing is 

a way to serve my family and the Lord. If 

Jesus my Savior came “not to be served, 

but to serve,” then why shouldn’t I serve 

happily and humbly as well? 

Are you joining Jesus in the good work 

of serving others with gentleness and humility? 

Or are you doing the work but with 

a grumbling heart? 

Let’s reflect Jesus in every act of service 

for His glory. Pray with me: “Lord Jesus, 

help me to serve others humbly. Allow me 

the privilege to be Your hands and feet on 

earth, so others can see You in everything 

I do. In Jesus’s name, amen.” 

KRISTI DEWS DALE is a wife and the mother of 

four amazing children. She is grateful that God has 

given her the opportunity to share stories of His 

love with others. 



9

TRANSFORMED LIVES 

PHOTO BY HALEY MANNING PHOTOGRAPHY 

It’s Never Too Late 

BY CHRISTINA KIMBREL 

“CHRISTINA, I NEED TO SEE YOU AT MY DESK, PLEASE.” 

Anxiety ripped through me at the sound of my fifth-grade 

teacher’s voice. Another trip to the school office? More questions 

about my home? I harbored so many secrets, and even 

at that young age, I understood there was safety in silence. 

Tears threatened as I walked to the teacher’s desk. I was 

relieved when I realized she only wanted to talk to me about a 

guest speaker who had visited our class on Career Day. Edie, a 

professor at the University of Arizona, had spoken to the class 

about journalism and had given us some writing exercises. 

“She called me to ask about you, Christina,” my teacher said, 

beaming with pride. “Edie was impressed with your writing, 

and she wants to get to know you.” I couldn’t believe my ears. 

Edie took me on a field trip that included a tour of the University 

of Arizona School of Journalism and the local daily newspaper 

headquarters. “Christina’s going to write someday,” she 

said as she introduced me to the journalists in the newsroom. 

“You have a gift, Christina,” Edie told me as I exited her car. 

“You will be a great writer someday. I hope to see you in one of 

my classes!” She drove away, and I returned to the loneliness 

of my childhood. I have never forgotten that day, as it was one 

of the only times I felt heard or seen as a child. 

I never made it to college. I didn’t even graduate from high 

school. I left home at 13, and my innocence disappeared as I 

fell into addiction and street life. Before I knew it, I was 18 and 

headed to prison. I would remain trapped in a cycle of destruction 

for years. It didn’t matter whether I was behind bars or out 

in free society; pain, shame, and self-pity kept me shackled. 

By 2015, my life resembled a war-torn country. All that remained 

amid the rubble were broken relationships and shattered 

dreams. All I wanted was a way out. 

I was in jail, going through the agony of heroin withdrawals, 

when I cried out to God. “If You really exist, please help me. 

I don’t want to live like this anymore.” I know God heard me 

because, at that moment, a strange peace washed over me. 

It comforted me like a warm blanket and gave me the will to 

keep breathing. 

God responded to me like a loving father whose child is injured. 

He held me in His arms and gave me His strength. And 

with the help of His Spirit and His Word, I began a long journey 

into healing. I received a study Bible from the ministry, Rescued 

Not Arrested (RNA). And for the next two and a half years, I 

spent every minute I could with my nose buried in its pages. 

Every day, I wrote prayers to God in a journal. I opened my 



heart to Him and shared things I didn’t talk about with anyone the volunteers for their part in making sure that the body of 

else. I also confessed things to Him that no one else knew. 

Christ did not forget about people like me in jails and prisons. 

Communicating with God through writing made me feel like 

As I walked off the stage and made my way to the food table, 

I had a voice. I always had my Bible open during these times of I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see a face I didn’t 

prayer and journaling, and the Lord poured His healing into recognize. “Hi,” the woman said. “My name is Kristi. I would love 

every broken and wounded place in my soul. 

to hear more of your story.” She pulled out a copy of Victorious 

The more I read God’s Word, the more I heard His voice. God Living magazine and quickly wrote down her email address 

reminded me that He had created me with intent and purpose. and a phone number to one of her ministry directors. “If you 

And despite my many failures in life, He still loved me and had submit your story to Pat Avery, he will make sure I receive it.” 

a plan. It wasn’t too late for Him to take my messed-up life and 

I procrastinated for three weeks as I wrestled with doubt and 

use it for something good (Romans 8:28). 

other negative thoughts. Yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that 

Soon after my release in 2017, I contacted Roger Munchian, submitting my testimony would be pleasing to God, so I finally 

the founder of RNA. I shared my testimony with him and did it. The very next day, I received a call from Pat. “Kristi loved 

thanked him for the Bible that had helped build my relationship 

with the Lord. Then, I traveled to meet Roger and to pick with Roger Munchian’s testimony.” I couldn’t believe my ears. 

your story! She wants to include it in the upcoming issue along 

up some Bibles for my roommates back at the halfway house. I A few days later, I received an email from Kristi that said, 

didn’t know it then, but the Lord was positioning me to answer “Thank you for sharing your story with us. It will undoubtedly 

the call He had on my life. 

touch thousands of lives through this magazine. By the way, 

“You have an amazing testimony, Christina,” Roger told me you are an amazing writer!” She extended an open invitation 

during our first meeting. “It was very well written. Do you like for me to continue writing for the magazine if I was interested. 

to write?” I told him that I had 

If I was interested? Are you 

always wanted to be a writer, 

but my life had taken a different 

turn. Roger encouraged me 

not to underestimate what God 

might still do in and through 

my life. 

It wasn’t long before Roger 

IT WASN’T TOO LATE FOR HIM TO 

TAKE MY MESSED-UP LIFE AND 

USE IT FOR SOMETHING GOOD 

serious, God?! 

As I tried to absorb what 

was happening, I couldn’t 

help but remember Edie’s 

words from my childhood. 

God had used her all those 

years before to plant a seed 

invited me to serve as part of the correspondence ministry team in my heart about His plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11). And 

at RNA. For two years, I read mail, processed Bible requests, now, even after all I had done wrong, it was coming to pass. 

and responded to letters from inmates all over the country. I God was fulfilling His plan for me, and He would use everything 

used writing to encourage others and point them toward God’s Satan had meant to harm me to benefit others (Genesis 50:20). 

Word as a source of comfort during their dark times. 

My story, “Beauty for Ashes,” was published in Issue 2, 2020. 

In February 2020, Rescued Not Arrested hosted a volunteer Since then, I have shared other stories of hope in Victorious 

appreciation dinner where I shared my testimony. I thanked Living. Then, in July 2021, I accepted Kristi’s offer to become 

the production manager for the magazine. Now I help others 

share their God stories! 

Incredibly, God has restored my life to His original purpose. 

Not only that, He has entrusted me to represent Him through 

the words I write. It is still so hard for me to fathom the depth 

of God’s incredible love and grace. I could never have imagined 

this for myself. God truly is our Redeemer when we trust Him. 

He can redeem your life, too. If you make Jesus the Lord of 

your life, He will bring you into His good plan. He will weave 

every detail of your story together into a beautiful masterpiece 

for His purpose and glory, and it will exceed anything you could 

have asked or thought of for yourself (Ephesians 3:20). And 

that is a promise. 

As a fifth-grader (left), Christina dreamed of becoming a writer, but life led 

her down a different path. Not long after the above mug shot, God reached 

into the darkness of jail and began to restore everything Christina thought 

was lost. Now, she’s part of the Victorious Living team (2nd from left, 

opposite page), and her dreams are coming true. 

CHRISTINA KIMBREL serves as VL’s production manager. Once incarcerated, 

she now ministers hope to those held captive by their past and current 

circumstances while sharing the message of healing she found in Jesus. 



11

God 

Restores 

What 

Has 

Been 

Taken 

THE STORY OF SHARON DUTRA 

Before I met Christ, my life was 

like a desolate place, stripped 

bare by a swarm of locusts. 

Everything had been devastated 

by sin, rebellion, and demonic 

forces. But thankfully, God has 

restored what those “locusts” 

had eaten (Joel 2:25). 

For as long as I can remember, my life 

was barren. My birth mother left me with 

my alcoholic and emotionally distant father 

when I was five. I never saw her again. 

I believe my father loved me, but he was 

unable to show love or provide stability. By 

the time I was 17, he had remarried four 

times. With each divorce, I was placed in 

foster care, only to be pulled out again the 

next time he remarried. 

The rejection and abandonment of those 

formative years damaged me profoundly. 

By 13, I felt so worthless and confused that 

I hated myself and started using drugs to 

dull the pain. At 15, I ran away from home. 

Eventually, I was arrested and began a long 

trek through the legal system. 

My first stop was Eastlake Juvenile Hall 

in Central Los Angeles, California. There, 

I gained an unwanted understanding of 

hatred, racial tension, gangs, and fear. Back 

then, the system didn’t separate criminals 

according to the severity of their crimes. 

The Hall housed murderers, thieves, and 

gang members right alongside runaways 

like me. It was a rude awakening. 

A few months later, I was transferred to 

an open-placement girl’s home in East Los 

Angeles. “Open placement” means that I 

was able to leave the grounds at will; there 

were no bars or walls. I transferred buses 

at night from West LA to Central LA to East 

LA. I was unaware of the potential dangers 

I faced as pimps, predators, and gangsters 

abounded in those neighborhoods. God 

surely had His hand on my life. 

As a youth, I was restless and unable to 

stay anywhere for long. It didn’t matter 

where I ended up—I hated myself, and no 

matter where I went, there I was—and the 

misery continued. So I just kept running. 

After running away from the girl’s home 

for the third time, I became a ward of the 

court. My father was again divorced and 

didn’t want me to live with him, so I was 

sent to a closed facility called the Convent 

of the Good Shepherd. The convent walls 

were 12 feet high, but I managed to escape. 

My contempt for and mistrust of authority, 

life, and people reached an all-time 

high. But instead of being angry at the ones 

who had failed me, I internalized those 

PHOTO BY ERIC STOLZ 


negative emotions and turned the weapons 

of destruction upon myself. As far as 

I could figure, I was the common denominator 

in every horrible thing that had happened 

in my life, so I must be the problem. 

I used every drug I could get my hands on. 

Life was too painful without them. 

At 20, I found myself in a dysfunctional 

relationship with a man I didn’t really 

know. His name was Bill, and he had just 

been released from prison. We got married 

and had two kids before I realized Bill was 

an IV drug user. Soon I became one too. We 

were both so lost. All that mattered was 

get ting high. Together, we fueled our addictions, 

hurting each other and our children. 

We ended up living in a tent on the streets. 

After eight and a half years together and a 

failed attempt to get sober, our marriage 

ended in divorce. 

I abandoned my children, just as so 

many had left me, and my guilt over that 

piled on more of the self-hatred, shame, 

and regret I already carried. 

By the time I was 29, I had been arrested 

13 times. I lived alone on the streets for 

two years, scouring through garbage cans 

for food and selling my body for drugs. I 

was a miserable being, a bag lady, focused 

solely on survival. 

I couldn’t see how sick I had become. 

When you’re out there, you don’t see yourself 

with eyes of truth. In fact, you don’t see 

yourself at all. I had completely stopped 

looking in the mirror. 

One time, a man aimed his gun at me, 

and in my pitiful state, I told him to shoot 

me and put me out of my misery. I had no 

reason to live. I had tried to commit suicide 

several times and felt more like a failure 

when I couldn’t even succeed at that! Of 

course, now I know it was God miraculously 

sparing my life. 

One morning while I was unlawfully on 

an army base, I was arrested by military 

police and the city police sergeant. I didn’t 

know it yet, but God was bringing me to a 

critical crossroads. I would soon see His 

plan for my life unfold in tangible ways. 

Because of my lengthy criminal record, 

I was sent to a crowded southern California 

women’s prison. There was very little 

As a youth, Sharon (above) desired love and 

acceptance. She found both in the arms of God. 

privacy there, but God arranged for my 

cellmate to work in the kitchen. That meant 

I had time alone. 

In my cell, I read a book about a man 

named George H. Meyer. In the 1940s, he 

was the chauffeur and getaway driver for 

the alleged mafia boss, “Scarface” Al Capone. 

Meyer’s life of crime eventually put 

him behind bars. But it was there in his 

dark prison cell that George Meyer surrendered 

his life to Jesus Christ. 

I was intrigued by the life-transforming 

power of Jesus in Meyer’s life. God had 

used this man while he was incarcerated 

to impact many people. And now, decades 

later, he was affecting my life too. 

Up to that point, I had felt useless. As far 

as I could see, my life was a complete waste. 

I was 29 years old with nothing but misery 

to show for it. I had broken everything I’d 

touched. But Meyer’s testimony penetrated 

my heart, and something unfamiliar began 

stirring inside, something impossible to 

resist. It was hope! 

Through Meyer’s book, I began to wonder 

about Jesus Christ. If living a life surrendered 

to Christ had helped George H. 

Meyer, could it help me too? 

I didn’t wait for reason to surface—I got 

down on my knees and cried out to God for 

salvation. Suddenly I had remorse over my 

sin. I wept over what I had done to people 

and for my self-hatred. I asked God for forgiveness 

and repented for rejecting Him. 

I had forfeited so many opportunities to 

know Him through the years. 

As I prayed, I felt God’s grace wash over 

me. When I got up off the floor, I was a 

brand-new person (2 Corinthians 5:17). 

A few weeks later, I was placed in the 

general population. There, I was able to 

attend church within the prison. The chaplain 

gave me a Bible he had purchased just 

for me. I read it for hours every day. 

God’s Word ministered hope to my heart. 

Through it, I learned He had a purpose for 

creating me and that I had value (Ephesians 

2:10). I learned that I mattered to God 

(Psalm 139), and He loved me so much so 

that He had sent His Son, Jesus, to die for 

me (John 3:16). Me! 

I was in awe that the Creator of the universe 

knew me by my name (Isaiah 43:1). I 

had always felt so invisible. He also promised 

never to fail or abandon me (Deuteronomy 

31:6,8; Joshua 1:5–9). Everyone else 

in my life had let me down. 

God’s Word, His truth, was like a stream 

of cool water in the desert. It quenched 

the thirst of my soul like nothing else 

could (John 4), and it set me free from the 

bondage of guilt, shame, and self-hatred 

(John 8:32). 

This newfound freedom brought the 

love, peace, joy, security, and stability I 

had always longed for. As I grew in that 

security, God began to put His love for others 

in my heart. I knew that He wanted me 

to share His love and hope with others in 

prison, just like George Meyer had done. I 

stepped out in trust, leading music at the 

prison church service. 

Not long after, I was transferred to a 

minimum-security prison. I was on fire 

for Jesus and excited about growing in my 

faith in this new place. And then I discovered 

that, out of the 90 women there, only 

one other inmate was a Christian. And she 

was being released in two weeks! 

I felt so alone and betrayed by God. In 

my confusion, I cried out to Him and asked, 

“Why would You send me to such a spiritually 

empty place, Lord? I need training. 



13

“I have set before you life and 

death, blessings and curses. 

Now choose life, so that you 

and your children may live.” 

Deuteronomy 30:19 NIV 

some dope.” But then I heard 

the whisper of the Holy Spirit, 

telling me to pick up the phone 

and call the church I had contacted 

before my release. 

I was at a spiritual crossroads. 

Thankfully, God’s Word 

was written on my heart, and 

I remembered Deuteronomy 

I need friends to help me now more than 30:19: “I have set before you life and death, 

ever!” Had He forgotten about my needs? blessings and curses. Now choose life, so 

Of course not. Instead, He had put me in that you and your children may live” (NIV). 

that spiritually barren place because those I chose life. 

women did not know the hope of Jesus. I picked up the phone and called the 

He wanted to use me to bring healing to church. Members there gave me the help 

women who were as desperate and broken and support I needed to keep moving in the 

as I so recently had been. 

right direction—toward God and the plan 

I decided to start a Bible study. I made He had for my life. God also presented opportunities 

for me to share the Gospel with 

rounds through the dorms in the mornings 

and yelled, “Bible study!” At first, the response 

was less than welcoming. You just They could see the change in me, and it 

people I used to run with on the streets. 

don’t wake people up in prison that way. gave them hope that what God had done 

I could tell by their looks that most of the for me, He could do for them. 

women thought I was crazy. 

Ten months later, I met my current husband, 

Michael. His father was a recently 

I am sure some of them wanted to ask, 

“Just who do you think you are, Miss Goody retired captain of the California Highway 

Two-Shoes Christian?” But I didn’t give Patrol, and his brother was a CHP sergeant. 

up, and soon a group of ladies assembled. Cops! God indeed has a sense of humor. 

In our time together, I shared the scriptures 

that had brought me so much hope that he would bring someone like me 

Initially, Michael’s family was shocked 

and healing. I continued to lead the study home, but over the years, God changed 

until I was released, and they continued their hearts about “those people.” Michael 

it for many years after I left. Praise God! and I have been married now for 30 years. 

Being released from prison presented 

immediate opportunities to return to we’ve had opportunities to reach people 

We love helping others come to faith, and 

the land that the locusts had destroyed. on both sides of prison walls. 

I was given $200 and sent to Santa Cruz, I returned to school and graduated with 

California, where I had lived before my honors as a registered nurse in 1998. I also 

incar ceration. I was afraid—I knew how started teaching Bible studies for women. 

dangerous and unhealthy it would be for I leaned on the Lord, His truth, and my 

me to return, as the only people I knew experience in learning and teaching the 

there were drug addicts and prostitutes. Bible in prison. Since I couldn’t find any 

Once again, I questioned God’s ways. material that the diverse group of ladies 

“How could You send me back to a town who attended the study could relate to, I 

where all I know are drugs and the street started writing my own Bible studies. My 

life?!” Not only would it be difficult to book, Be Transformed by the Spirit of the Living 

God, was birthed from this class. I have 

stand firm in my faith, but I had such a 

poor reputation in that area. How would I since written two more books that are used 

ever overcome it? 

all over the world to help people understand 

the Bible and apply it to their lives. 

I got off the bus and stopped by a pay 

phone. I could hear the devil whispering to It’s been over 30 years since Jesus saved 

me, “Go to your old neighborhood and get my life. And just like He promised in Joel 

2:25, He has restored all that the locusts 

had eaten. I am forever grateful. 

Have those locusts ravaged your life too, 

leaving it desolate and bare? Do you feel 

alone or like your life is a waste? Friend, 

there is hope. God loves you, and He still 

has a purpose for your life. 

Surrender your heart to Him. Ask Him to 

forgive you for your rebellion, doubt, fear, 

pride, hatred, and confusion. And then accept 

His forgiveness (1 John 1:9). He wants 

to make you new. He wants to restore all 

that has been taken from you. It’s not too 

late to have the abundant life God intended 

for you (John 10:10). There is no life too 

broken for Jesus to mend. 

I hope you’ll accept God’s gift of forgiveness 

and salvation like I did by inviting 

Jesus into your heart today. Please don’t 

wait. Your eternal security depends on it, 

as well as your ability to live a life of peace 

and purpose on earth now. 

If you are ready to surrender your life to 

Jesus, offer the Lord your heart with this 

prayer: 

Jesus, I’ve been searching for 

peace and happiness my whole 

life. I’ve tried everything to fill the 

emptiness in my heart but haven’t 

found anything that works. I realize 

now that it’s because I’ve never 

confessed my sins to You and received 

forgiveness for my selfish 

ways. 

I’ve done a poor job of running 

my life on my own. I’ve done so 

many things against You, myself, 

and others. Please forgive me. 

I want to start a new life with 

You, one filled with contentment 

and purpose. I want to live for 

something greater than myself. 

I want to commit my life to You 

right now. Thank You, Lord. In 

Jesus’s name, amen. 

SHARON DUTRA is cofounder of Be Transformed 

Ministries and the author of three books that have 

been translated into four languages. Over 25,000 of 

her books have been sent out to prisons around the 

world. To contact her ministry, write to PO Box 597, 

Grover Beach, CA 93433, or email betransformed@ 

betransformedministries.com. 



TRUTHS TO REMEMBER 

IN THE WILDERNESS 

BY LISA APPELO 

ONE SWIFT KICK. The frustration of the last ten months had 

come to a head, and with all the patience of a three-year-old, I 

took it out on the side of the tub. But tubs are unforgiving. Almost 

immediately, my ankle swelled in shades of blue and purple, and 

soon, I couldn’t bear any weight on that foot. For the next two 

days, I hobbled around, painfully aware that my heart needed 

fixing more than my ankle. 

I’d been wandering a wilderness of isolation and waiting after 

moving from a small town I loved to a large city. I knew God had 

led us to move, but the months spent looking for a new church, 

new house, new everything had taken their toll. I missed my 

friends and longed to be settled. The lease on our rental was 

expiring, our furniture was in storage, and I missed the permanence 

of a home of our own. 

Maybe you’ve experienced a wilderness of isolation without 

friends, family, or a church home. Maybe you’ve endured a wilderness 

of waiting long past your timeline despite your prayers. 

Or maybe you’re in a wilderness right now of deep pain or grief 

after your life shattered around you. 

When we’re in the wilderness, we want out quick. But focusing 

on getting out can make us miss the lessons God has for us there. 

Wilderness circumstances feel barren, but they can be spiritually 

rich. Here are some truths to remember when you find yourself 

in the wilderness. 

God provides in the wilderness. If God leads you to it, you can 

trust He will provide for you there. He led the Israelites into the 

wilderness. He led David, Elijah, and even Jesus there too. But 

God never left them to fend for themselves. He provided manna 

for Israel, safety for David, and meat and bread for Elijah. And 

after Jesus fasted 40 days in the wilderness, God sent angels to 

care for him. God will provide for you there, too. 

God reveals His character in the wilderness. When Hagar 

fled to the desert after being mistreated and rejected, God appeared 

to her. She called Him “the God who sees me” (Genesis 

16:13 NIV). When Moses was in the wilderness, God appeared 

to him, revealing Himself as the “I am; the Lord” (Exodus 6:2–3 

NIV). At various times, God revealed Himself to the Hebrews as 

the Bread of Heaven, the Living Water, the Holy One, the Law 

Giver, and the Rock. 

On Mt. Sinai, God revealed himself as, “The Lord, the Lord, the 

compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love 

and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving 

wickedness, rebellion and sin” (Exodus 34:6 NIV). Don’t miss the 

ways God reveals Himself to you in the wilderness. 

The wilderness is a place of preparation, not permanence. 

God doesn’t park us in the desert places of life forever. He uses 

them to prepare us for where He is leading us next. This pattern 

occurs repeatedly in the Bible. God led the Israelites into the wilderness 

to make them a nation, give them His law, and show them 

how to worship, in order to prepare them for the Promised Land. 

God led Jesus into the wilderness where Jesus fasted and 

prayed for 40 days and was tempted before beginning His public 

ministry. Paul spent three hidden years in the desert before 

launching into his evangelical missionary journeys. What is God 

preparing you for? 

The wilderness is never meant to harm you; it’s meant to 

form you. Deuteronomy 8:15–16 NIV says, “He led you through 

the vast and dreadful wilderness, that thirsty and waterless land, 

with its venomous snakes and scorpions…to humble and test you 

so that in the end it might go well with you” (emphasis added). 

God always intends it to go well with us. Don’t do as I did and 

kick against the wilderness places. God already has a good end 

in mind. As you wait, get to know Him in new ways, trust His 

provision, and get prepared for what He has in store. And when 

He reveals that next step, take it. You are not alone. 

LISA APPELO is a speaker, writer, and Bible teacher who inspires women 

to deepen their faith in grief and find hope in the hard. Formerly a litigating 

attorney, her days are now filled with parenting seven children, ministering, 

writing, speaking, and running enough to justify lots of dark chocolate. Find 

Lisa’s encouragement for faith, grief, and hope at LisaAppelo.com. 



15

God Uses 

the Willing Heart 

THE STORY OF SANDRA HARDEE 

I grew up attending a small Methodist 

church in Grifton, NC. I thought I was a 

Christian, but I really didn’t know anything 

about God. I didn’t understand the Gospel 

message and how it applied to me. Thankfully, 

God opened my faith-eyes to see my 

need for a personal relationship with Him 

through His Son, Jesus. 

It happened when my teenage son returned 

from a week-long retreat sponsored 

by Young Life. The minute he returned, I 

knew something was different in him. He 

was excited and filled with joy. This was 

surprising because at the time, our family 

was really struggling. My husband of 17 

years had recently left my two teenagers 

and me, and the trauma of the divorce was 

impacting us all deeply. 

I was happy to see this change in my son, 

but it wasn’t until I attended a Young Life 

banquet with him that I understood the 

source of the transformation. There, on a 

stage, he shared how Jesus had touched 

his life. I was so proud of him but also a bit 

embarrassed that he hadn’t shared those 

intimate details with me prior to the event. 

Turns out, he didn’t think I would understand 

his newfound faith in Jesus. 

“Mom, all I’ve ever heard you pray is 

a memorized prayer,” he told me. He’d 

never witnessed me having an intimate 

relationship with God. Talk about needing 

a reality check! 

I kept an eye on my son. It was obvious 

that whatever Jesus had done in his life 

was real, and I knew I needed what he had. 

So I decided to get serious about my faith. 

I found time to spend quiet moments 

with God. I did devotionals and read the 

Bible like my son. At first, it was for 5 

minutes, then 10, then 30, then an hour. I 

couldn’t wait to get up each morning for my 

one-on-one time with God. His Word and 

presence were healing my broken heart. 

Then, I went on a Walk to Emmaus retreat, 

where I learned how to practically 

live out God’s Word and to be a true Christ 

follower. I came to understand that I am 

called to be like Jesus. I am to serve and 

love others in practical ways. And then I 

discovered that I prove my love for God 

through my obedience to Him (John 14:15). 

I went on a hunt through God’s Word to 

see what He expected of me. I learned God 

wanted me to be humble instead of prideful, 

gentle instead of harsh, selfless instead 

of selfish, forgiving instead of bitter, and 

generous instead of stingy. God was calling 

me to be His ambassador on this earth—to 

represent Him everywhere I went and in 

everything I do. 

As a pharmacist, I had always separated 

my work from my faith. But God showed 

me that even as a pharmacist, I could reveal 

His love to people in simple ways, like 

by being patient, kind, and helpful. 

Serving others isn’t always easy. Not 

everyone is pleasant and kind. It helps to 

remember that every person is created in 

God’s image. He loves them and has fashioned 

and formed them with His hands for 

a specific purpose (Psalm 119:73). 

Seeing people through God’s eyes 

changed how I responded to them. It 

also helped to remember that as I served 

others, I was serving the Lord (Matthew 

25:35–40; Colossians 3:23). 

You would think that serving and obeying 

God’s commands would be burdensome, 

but it isn’t (1 John 5:3). The more I 

served others with God in mind, the more 

joy, peace, and purpose I found. That’s because 

we are created to serve and to glorify 

God. Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are 

God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus 

to do good works, which God prepared in 

advance for us to do” (NIV). When we fulfill 

God’s desires, we are blessed and refreshed 

in the process (Proverbs 11:25). 

In 1999, my hometown of Grifton was 

wiped out by a flood brought on by Hurricane 

Floyd. This crisis brought many opportunities 

to show the love of God, but 


PHOTO BY HALEY MANNING PHOTOGRAPHY 

they often led me to uncomfortable places. 

It never failed, though, that when I stepped 

out in obedience, God always had gifts and 

treasures waiting for me. 

My friend, Betty, dove headlong into crisis 

response, visiting devastated areas and 

searching for people in need. I often went 

with her. One day, Betty asked me to go 

alone to a remote area and check on a lady 

named Rachel. I was nervous because I had 

long-term by the flood. I decided to use my 

administrative skills to become an advocate 

for mental health and medical needs. 

I’m sure people were tired of all my 

“flood talk,” but I was so burdened for those 

still hurting in the community. I couldn’t 

look the other way—they needed help. How 

could I stop serving them? God calls us to 

help those in need. Proverbs 3:27 says, “Do 

not withhold good from those to whom it 

to retire, but that wasn’t God’s plan for us. 

(Now that I think about it, I haven’t found 

a retirement provision from serving the 

Lord anywhere in the Bible.) We took the 

positions. 

It’s not an easy task to get people onboard 

with helping those in prison. It’s not 

popular. But when has God ever called us 

to do things that are popular? Or comfortable? 

Or easy, for that matter? He doesn’t. 

heard this lady was a bit eccentric, but I 

is due, when it is in your power to act.” 

But what He does do is call us to plac- 

decided to trust Betty’s judgment and went. 

Serving the flood victims was a privilege. 

es and people that will change us forever, 

I’ll never forget that first encounter. Ra- 

Years later, God showed me another 

for the better. As we do right, seek jus- 

chel had very little by the world’s standards 

place to serve—prison. This happened af- 

tice, and defend the oppressed (Isaiah 

even before the flood. Yet, she talked about 

ter I met my husband, Ron, who was very 

1:17), God blesses us in unexpected ways 

the Lord the whole time we were together. 

involved with Kairos ministry, a national 

(Ephesians 3:20). 

She had so much joy. When I left, she fol- 

prison outreach. (See his story on page 18.) 

If you’ve never experienced the joy of 

lowed me outside and yelled, “I love you.” 

His love for the incarcerated was conta- 

serving others, ask God to open your eyes 

Her words pierced my heart. She had 

gious and soon, my heart was drawn to 

to opportunities. Let your heart be willing 

no idea how badly I needed to hear those 

help relieve the suffering of inmates too. 

to serve. Then, out of your love for God and 

words nor how much I needed to be loved. 

Ron and I became very active with a pris- 

His people, step into them. I promise you, 

But God did, and He used Rachel to bless 

on reform agency called NC-CURE, but in 

you’ll never regret it. 

me. Today, 20 years later, Rachel and I 

2020, the founder of NC-CURE moved out 

are still great buddies. I thank God for her 

friendship. 

As often happens after a natural disaster, 

relief support eventually left our area. But 

there were still so many people impacted 

of state. The organization, on the verge 

of dissolution, asked me to become the 

execu tive director and asked Ron to become 

the chairman of the board. 

Ron and I had thought we were ready 

SANDRA HARDEE and her husband, Ron, lead 

NC-CURE (NC Citizens United for Restorative 

Effectiveness), a not-for-profit organization that 

fights for the rights of the incarcerated and raises 

awareness of injustices in the NC prison system. To 

learn more, visit nccure.org. 



17

Wait for 

God’s Choice 

THE STORY OF RON CAPELL 

I was overseas and alone in a hotel room 

when I realized I no longer wanted the 

“American Dream.” For me, it had become 

a nightmare. 

I had everything the world said would 

make me happy—an education, successful 

career, material wealth, expensive cars, a 

large home, and a beautiful wife and kids. 

Yet, I was miserable. And the more I acquired, 

the less content I became. I had 

no joy in my life. 

I had been out drinking that night. It 

passed the time during my overseas travels 

and temporarily filled the emptiness in 

my heart. I fell asleep in a drunken stupor, 

but around 4:00 a.m., I awakened to the 

sound of the television, broadcasting a story 

about an American corporate executive 

who had just escaped his kidnappers. 

I knew about this man’s plight. A local 

tribe had taken him from a region where I 

often traveled. Other executives and I had 

been warned about the danger of being 

held for ransom there. This man had been 

in captivity for a year—in fact, we’d thought 

he was dead. 

Tears flowed down his face as he talked 

about his ordeal, and then he shared how 

he had come to know Jesus during his captivity. 

He told the interviewer that he was 

heading home to ask forgiveness from his 

wife and kids for the life he had lived on 

the road. He hoped to rebuild his family. 

His story struck me to the core. I lay on 

the bed and thought, “Oh my Lord! That’s 

me!” It was like I had looked in a mirror. 

I, too, needed to ask forgiveness from my 

wife and children for the life I’d been living. 

I also needed to ask God for forgiveness. 

I had been so full of greed and inconsideration 

toward others, especially my family. 

Overwhelmed with grief, I fell on the 

floor, repented of my sin, and surrendered 

my life to Jesus. A sudden, new, and deep 

desire to love God and my family instead 

of things rushed over me. 

I had asked Jesus into my heart as a child. 

I was raised in a Christian home with a 

long lineage of dedicated believers; I knew 

about God and truly did love Him. But then, 

when I was 16, I became rebellious and 

prideful. I strayed far from the Lord and 

traded His good plans for my own. 

I made a big mess of things in the process, 

and my home life was in shambles. I 

had been so concerned with making money 

that I had forgotten about the needs of 

my wife and children. I hadn’t cared for 

them as God intended (1 Peter 3:7). 

My life had been about owning stuff, not 

loving my family. And in the end, all that 

stuff owned me. It doesn’t profit a man to 

gain the whole world yet lose his life and 

things of true importance—like his family, 

health, and most importantly, his relationship 

with the Lord (Mark 8:36). I was 

determined to make amends and lead our 

family down God’s path. 

I came home, quit my high-paced traveling 

job, and worked on rebuilding my family. 

I became passionate about the Lord and 

began devouring the Bible and serving 

others. But my marriage didn’t survive. 

We divorced, and I quickly remarried. 

It wasn’t long, however, before I realized 

that I had gotten ahead of God, and that 

marriage ended as quickly as it had begun. 

And now I was in financial ruin. 

They say hindsight is 20/20. I know now 

that if I had asked for God’s guidance, will, 

and wisdom in my relationships, I could 

have saved myself a whole bunch of heartache 

(Proverbs 3:5–6; James 1:5). But at 

the time, it didn’t occur to me to bring Him 

into those decisions. Instead, I followed 

my natural desires and human reasoning. 

Those two failed relationships left me 

broken and bitter toward women. I was 

determined to remain single for the rest of 

time. But then, one day, God’s Spirit spoke 

to me. “Ron, this single life isn’t for you.” 

He began to show me that if I followed His 

lead, He would give me a godly wife who 


PHOTOS BY HALEY MANNING PHOTOGRAPHY 

Bringing God into the 

decisions of his 

relationships led Ron 

to the love of his life. 

would bring me much joy. I just needed to 

trust Him and wait for His choice for me. 

His timing would be perfect. 

After a season of prayer, I joined an online 

dating service. My dating profile was 

straightforward: “I am a believer in Jesus 

Christ. If you are not a believer, don’t even 

respond to this profile.” 

Many women responded, but it didn’t 

take long to realize that they were not faithful 

followers of Jesus. The Bible teaches 

that we can identify true believers by their 

fruit (actions). People who genuinely love 

God should exhibit characteristics like 

love, joy, kindness, patience, gentleness, 

goodness, self-control, and faithfulness 

(Galatians 5:22). There should be no selfish 

ambition and impurity. 

But then, one day, a woman named 

Sandra emailed me. We communicated 

for a while and then decided to meet at a 

Christian retreat. It turns out, Sandra was 

just as serious about her relationship with 

the Lord as I was, and she had the fruit to 

prove it. 

Sandra loved the Lord with all her heart, 

and she shared my passion for serving 

others. (See her story on page 16.) Soon, 

I knew that Sandra was God’s choice for 

me, and we married before the Lord. The 

last 17 years have been quite an adventure 

as Sandra and I have sought God’s will 

for our lives. He has used us in ways we 

could never have imagined, especially in 

the prison system. 

God in our marriage has kept us strong. 

Ecclesiastes 4:12 teaches that a threestranded 

cord is not easily broken. I have 

witnessed this truth firsthand. Today, because 

of God, my marriage is beautiful, 

joy-filled, and strong. Take it from me— 

relationships built apart from God’s strand 

of grace and love will eventually break. 

If you are in a relationship right now, I 

encourage you to bring God into the center 

of it. It’s not too late. And if you desire a 

relationship, don’t rush ahead of God. That 

will only lead to heartache. Wait for God’s 

gift. It will be good, and it will complete 

you. In the meantime, draw close and allow 

yourself to be changed by a loving and 

living God. 

RON CAPELL and his wife, Sandra, joyfully serve 

incarcerated persons through the organization 

they lead called NC-CURE. Visit nccure.org for 

more information. 



19

Tired of 

Running 

and 

Ready 

THE STORY OF 

MANNY MILL 

to Live 

FOR MANY YEARS, I LIVED 

FOR THE HUMAN TRINITY— 

ME, MYSELF, AND I. 

I did what was right in my own eyes and 

judged everything by how it would benefit 

me or someone I wanted to influence. I had 

no understanding of objective truth, nor 

did I care how God might view my actions. 

I thrived on power and being the center 

of attention. It helped that I was charismatic 

because people played right into my 

manipulative hands—especially women. 

They were objects to be used for my gain 

and discarded. 

I wasn’t always that way. My mother 

says I became self-absorbed and reckless 

around my senior year of college. I saw the 

world and people as potential conquests. 

Mom tried to influence me and tell me 

about God. She had recently come to faith 

in Jesus Christ through the testimony of 

a spiritual medium who had become a 

Christian. 

This was a big change for my mother. For 

years, she had channeled demonic spirits 

in her quest to help people find answers. 

She’d started dabbling in witchcraft when 

our family lived in Cuba. (We subsequently 

escaped to America to avoid Fidel Castro’s 

regime.) I’d often assisted Mom during her 

channeling sessions and had witnessed 

demonic spirits pass through her. She 

thought she was doing a good thing and 

even believed she was drawing close to God 

through it. She was so deceived. 

But then, a medium at the spiritual center 

that Mom frequented became a believer 

in Jesus Christ. She and another lady 

shared their newfound faith with Mom. 

“We have met the Lord, Jesus Christ!” they 

said. “You don’t need to go to that center 

anymore.” Soon, Mom attended church 

with her friends, where she heard the truth 

of the Gospel. She responded to God’s gift 

of salvation immediately. 

From that day forward, Mom was a new 

person. She had peace and a hunger for 

God’s Word. She began opening our home 

to share Christ with others. “Jesus found 

me when I was so very lost in my sin,” she 

said, “because He is the One who searches 

for us.” 

I didn’t want anything to do with Mom’s 

faith; I thought she was nuts! If there was a 

God, I reasoned, it was me. I did attend the 

worship services she held at our home—but 

only to meet a certain beautiful brunette. 

Her name was Cecilia, and I’d decided 

I had to have her. Driven by an impulsive 

nature and the need for immediate 

gratification, I came up with a plan to get 

this beauty. I would marry her. I was only 

a semester away from graduation, but I 

was already making a lot of money as a 

life-insurance salesman and driving a Mercedes 

Benz 380SL. I decided I’d rather be 

married than have a college degree, and I 

dropped out. 

I was 22 years old and as arrogant as 

they come. 

My fidelity lasted about as long as our 

honeymoon. I had no idea what a marriage 

commitment meant. I was a terrible husband 

and put Cecilia through hell. 

The following winter, our son, Manny 

Jr., was born. While I knew nothing about 

being a father, I was proud to have a son. 

My flair for networking paid off, and 

soon I was making more money than I 

knew how to spend. But nothing the world 

offered—not even a Lincoln Town Coupe, 

an Audi 5000, and a Cadillac Seville—could 

satisfy me. I always searched for more. 

Soon a business opportunity arose in 

Coral Gables, Florida, that provided both 

a new conquest and a great excuse to 


PHOTO BY MARY WHITMER 

escape the righteous impact my mother 

was trying to have on me. I moved my family 

and continued to do my thing in Miami. It 

wasn’t long before my sin and pride caught 

up to me. 

My sister’s boyfriend had approached 

me with what appeared to be a sweet deal. 

All I had to do was cash some bogus checks. 

I didn’t bother to consider that the money 

belonged to someone else. 

With my connections in Miami, I could 

easily pull off the scam. A friend who 

worked at a bank helped me open a checking 

account under a false name. I deposited 

the checks, waited until they cleared, then 

emptied the account and closed it. I got fifty 

thousand dollars for a couple of hours of 

work. Not bad. 

A month later, however, FBI agents were 

in my office looking for me. My “friend” had 

ratted me out, and I was facing a possible 

55 years in prison. It was my word against 

his, and at first, I thought I could talk my 

way out of this situation. I was, after all, a 

master manipulator. But my fingerprints 

were on the checks. It wouldn’t take a genius 

to figure out who was telling the truth. 

I was a dead dog if the FBI found me, so 

I went into survival mode and withdrew 

what cash I could. “Pack our things,” I told 

Cecilia. “We’re taking a little vacation.” 

Poor Cecilia. She was seven months 

pregnant with our second child and caring 

for our four-year-old son. Nonetheless, she 

did as I asked, and we left for Puerto Rico 

that very night. 

With Puerto Rico being a US territory, 

we couldn’t stay long, or I’d risk being arrested. 

We had to keep moving. We needed 

passports to go further, but with my connections, 

obtaining them wasn’t a problem. 

I told Cecilia the truth while we were there. 

She was furious with me. 

After a few days in Puerto Rico, we flew 

to the Dominican Republic, and then to 

Bogotá, and then to Medellín (Colombia). I 

had no plan, and I wasn’t thinking clearly. 

Finally, we settled in Caracas, Venezuela. 

I opened a restaurant, which took some 

underhanded scheming and money. I 

worked fast and hard to find investors and 

a Venezuelan partner. In no time, I owned 

the best Cuban restaurant in the country. I 

used the restaurant and its glamour, not to 

mention my mad dancing skills and thick 

dark hair, to get women. Cuban men were 

very popular with Venezuelan women. 

We lived in Caracas for almost two years. 

But then, the FBI paid a visit to my dad. 

That night, he and my mom called me. 

“Manolito,” he said. “I know what you have 

done. I know you are facing time behind 

bars. Let me ask you a question. If I died 

tonight, could you come to my funeral?” 

I was silent. I knew the answer was no. 

I broke down and cried. Then, my mom 

began to speak. She reminded me that I 

had sinned against a holy God, and she 

pleaded with me to repent of my sins—to 

turn from my ways. 

“To repent is to live,” she said. “You need 

to trust in Jesus Christ and make Him Lord 

and Savior of your life. He will forgive you 

for your sins, Manny, if you ask Him.” 

Mom started praying for me on the 

phone. “Oh, God, save my son. Make him 

see how lost he is, how far he is from You. 

He’s on his way to hell. He needs You, God! 

Help him see he cannot run from You. 

Father, You promised to forgive him. I pray 

my son will ask for Your forgiveness and 

follow Jesus.” 

I sobbed as the Holy Spirit quickened 

my spirit and opened the eyes of my heart 

to see what I could not see before—that I 

was lost and in desperate need of a Savior. 

I prayed out loud, repeating the words of 

my mom, “Oh, God, please forgive me for 

all I have done; I have sinned against You. 

I’m guilty and ashamed, and I don’t want 

to run anymore. Lord, save me. Come into 

my heart and change my life. God, I need 

Your help. Give me the courage to face what 

I’ve done and make it right. Give me the 

courage to face my family and the world 

with the truth.” 

My mom started praising God and 

thanking Him for what He had done. I felt 

like God had lifted the whole world off my 

back until Mom asked me, “When are you 

coming back to America to face the music? 

You must surrender to the FBI and do what 

is right.” 

The world ground to a halt. Sure, I had 

prayed for courage and a way to make 

things right, but surrendering to the FBI 

was not what I’d had in mind! That wasn’t 

part of the deal. 

Mom noticed my hesitation and said, 

“Manolito, God promises in Hebrews 13:5 

that He will never leave you or forsake 

you. He will not fail you. You have invited 

Jesus into your heart, and He will be with 

you from now on—even if you have to go 

to prison.” 

Tears flowed from my eyes as I bowed in 

total surrender to the God of the universe, 

to His Son, and to His Holy Spirit. I would 

now serve a new Trinity. My mind was set, 

and there was no going back. 

Manny shares with men in Angola Prison how to 

have true life in Christ. 



21

What I did not realize at the time was 

that my dad had become a Christian on 

the telephone right along with me. Just 

like Nicodemus in John 3, we were both 

born again. Dad had been observing the 

unmistakable change in my mom’s way 

of life and that night, he surrendered to 

the one true God too. My father, Manolo, 

was a mighty man of God from that 

day forward. 

God answered my prayer, and His Holy 

Spirit gave me the courage to fly home to 

New York with my family and take responsibility 

for the crimes I had committed. 

FBI agents were waiting for me when I deplaned 

at Kennedy International Airport, 

and they took me into custody. 

They escorted me to a regional office 

in Newark, New Jersey, where other FBI 

agents booked and fingerprinted me and 

confiscated my US passport. Then, I was 

released on bond. 

Because I had pleaded guilty, there was 

no trial. Incredibly, the judge sentenced 

me to only three years at Allenwood Federal 

Prison in Montgomery, Pennsylvania. 

God’s amazing grace was on full display. 

And soon there would be more. 

Typically, incarceration begins immediately 

after sentencing, but I did not go to 

prison right away. The judge allowed me to 

go home for three more months and then 

to report to prison on my own, unescorted. 

I treasured this time with my family 

and appreciated the opportunity to set my 

things in order. 

When the time came, my family drove 

with me to prison. Once I was processed, a 

correctional officer came to take me away. 

Tears flowed as I hugged Cecilia, my parents, 

and my children goodbye. Leaving 

them was very hard as my future felt so uncertain. 

We put everything in God’s hands. 

I changed into prison clothes, and then 

I was fingerprinted again and checked in. 

My ID card proclaimed that I was prisoner 

#07592-050. Humiliation does not begin 

to describe the experience. My boots and 

pants didn’t fit, and for the first two weeks, 

I had no pillow. My top bunk was in a dormitory 

with 74 other men. What a change 

in lifestyle! But God was faithful to me. 

Before prison, I had never in my life 

cleaned a room or even made my bed, 

so my first work assignment was a rude 

awakening. I would be cleaning the bathrooms. 

Now, I didn’t know how to clean a 

bathroom, but I had traveled in high-class 

circles, so I knew what one should look like. 

So I set my expectations accordingly. 

Colossians 3:23 says that whatever we 

do, we should do it unto God. It seemed to 

me that, as a Christian, my actions should 

reveal my love for God. He deserved my 

best efforts. I was His ambassador and 

wanted to reflect Him positively everywhere 

and in every way. 

I quickly learned about work ethic and 

principles like “hitting the corners.” A 

superficial clean wasn’t good enough; I 

wanted those bathrooms to be clean from 

top to bottom, just like I wanted my life to 

be pure before God. 

It never failed though—just as I finished 

cleaning, some guy would come in and 

mess it all up. Nevertheless, I cleaned to 

the best of my ability for eight hours a day, 

and I did it for the glory of God. He had 

ordained this work to humble me. What I 

didn’t know was that God was preparing 

me for a ministry of “getting dirty.” He 

was about to call me to an up-close-andpersonal 

ministry with people the world 

didn’t want to touch. 

I knew my salvation was real because 

this unpleasant work didn’t produce a 

com plaining attitude, not even hidden in 

my heart. Only the Holy Spirit could have 

brought about that transformation. 

Manny (white suit) at 

the Prison Fellowship 

banquet where he met 

many mighty men of God. 

Apart from Jesus, I had nothing to bring 

to the table. God was the only One who 

could change my life; my task was to submit, 

surrender, and let God have His way. 

Sometimes I failed miserably because my 

stubborn, sinful human nature resisted 

change. But God, so rich in mercy, always 

forgave me and helped me move forward 

better (Ephesians 2:4–5; 1 John 1:9). 

I was developing into a new person, and 

I knew I did not want to go back to the man 

I had been. I didn’t like him, so I aimed to 

draw closer to Jesus. Only He could help 

me develop godly traits and bear lasting 

fruit in my life (John 15:1–5). I didn’t know 

God very well yet, but I knew He was for 

real, and that authenticity attracted me 

like a magnet. 

Several godly inmates and I began holding 

daily prayer meetings to help other 

inmates know God. Not long after, God 

brought a new chaplain to our prison. We 

worked together to organize the church 

body, and the church began to grow. 

Chaplain Cordero and I planned a weekend 

marriage seminar sponsored by Prison 

Fellowship. The men and I were excited 

to encounter God in a new way with our 

spouses. What a treasured opportunity! 

When the time came, the chaplain and I 

were at the door, welcoming the wives. I 

was so excited...but grew concerned when 

Cecilia didn’t arrive. 

A phone call to my mother-in-law revealed 

that Cecilia had left New Jersey and 

gone to Miami with our children. I felt like 

a bucket of cold water had been dumped 



I knew I did not want 

to go back to the man 

I had been. I didn’t 

like him, so I aimed to 

draw closer to Jesus. 

on my head. Divorce papers arrived a few 

weeks later. 

I don’t blame Cecilia for our marriage 

ending; I blame myself. The consequences 

of my actions made life difficult for her 

and our children. Thankfully, the Lord has 

helped me learn from my mistakes so I 

could be a better husband and father in 

the future. 

I attended a Prison Fellowship Ministries 

(PFM) banquet with five other inmates in 

my final year of incarceration. Billy Graham 

was the keynote speaker. By God’s 

providence, I sat next to a member of 

PFM’s executive board. He asked about 

my post-incarceration plans. 

“Sir, by faith, I am going to Wheaton 

Bible College. I just applied for a scholarship 

there,” I replied. I said “in faith” because 

the admission date for college was 

August of 1988, and my release date wasn’t 

until January 1989. I was trusting God to 

work out my release if He wanted me to go. 

As we talked, I could tell this man was 

genuinely interested in my desire to attend 

Wheaton. Then the man introduced 

himself. “Manny,” he said, “my name is 

Kenneth Wessner. I am the chairman of the 

board of Wheaton College.” My jaw about 

hit the table! Clearly, God had ordained 

this meeting for me. 

Dr. Wessner took a chance on me and 

championed my cause. Talk about godly 

love; this man didn’t even know me. God 

worked out every detail, and I started my 

studies at Wheaton College on the Charles 

W. Colson Scholarship. 

I studied hard to receive a bachelor 

of arts degree in biblical studies. Then I 

attended graduate school and pursued 

my master’s in theological studies. While 

there, and in collaboration 

with several people, I developed 

the concept of a Koinonia 

House, a family home 

where prisoners could live 

after their release, witness 

a healthy family life, and 

receive help integrating 

back into society. Dr. Wessner 

helped me develop the 

Koinonia House, and our 

doors opened to inmates in late 1991. 

Not long after, the Lord blessed me with 

a most beautiful gift—my wife, Barbara. We 

met while I was on an internship in Israel 

as a student with Wheaton College. She 

had just arrived and was leading a group 

of students from Philadelphia Bible College. 

She was pursuing a master’s degree 

in Bible geography. We met on Mt. Zion 

in Jerusalem on what happened to be my 

last day of parole. (I had received special 

permission to go abroad.) 

I was instantly attracted to Barbara, but 

we both knew we’d need to be careful in 

establishing a relationship. We wanted 

godly discernment, not man’s approval. 

We both sought wise counsel, and God 

worked through His people to affirm direction 

from the Holy Spirit. 

After much prayer and consideration, 

Barbara and I felt released to be married. 

For the last 32 years, we have served the 

Lord in our national prison ministry, Koinonia 

House Ministries, and shared the 

Gospel of Jesus Christ around the world. 

Not only is she my wife, she is my best 

friend and ministry partner too. 

Barbara has also been instrumental in 

restoring my relationships with my children, 

Manny Jr. and Cesia. Today, we have 

a healthy relationship. Not only that, God 

blessed Barbara and me with two sons, 

Howard and Kenneth, and even brought 

my daughter Sasha, from another relationship, 

into my life. God’s grace and love have 

restored my life beyond my wildest expectations 

(Ephesians 3:20). Today, I am the 

proud grandfather of seven grandchildren 

and a great-grandson. 

I am so glad that God arrested me with 

His love and confronted me with His truth 

One of God’s greatest 

gifts to Manny has been 

his wife, Barbara. 

years ago. His goodness chased me down 

and led me to repentance (Romans 2:4). 

Because of Him, I have hope (Ephesians 

2:12–13). God resurrected my life from the 

dead, and He made me a new creation (2 

Corinthians 5:17). I have been born again 

into His family. Alleluia! 

My wise mother once told me that “to 

repent is to live.” Today, I tell you the same. 

Are you ready to live? To quit running 

and find rest? Then turn from serving the 

trinity of self and live for God. Surrender 

your heart and mind to Him and trust His 

love for you. God will never leave you or forsake 

you. It’s time to repent so you can live. 

Pray with me: “God, forgive me for sinning 

against You. I’m guilty and ashamed. 

I don’t want to run anymore. Lord, save 

me. Come into my heart and change my 

life. I need Your help. Give me the courage 

to face what I’ve done and make it right. 

Strengthen me to face my family and the 

world with Your truth. Amen.” 

MANNY MILL is the founder of Koinonia House® 

National Ministries. Read Manny’s full redemption 

story in Radical Redemption: The Real Story of 

Manny Mill, written by Manny with Jude Skallerup, 

published by Moody Publishers, 2004. Discover the 

power of prayer through Radical Prayer: The Power 

of Being Bold and Persistent, written by Manny with 

Harold Smith and Barbara Mill. To invite Manny to 

speak at your event, call 630-221-9930 or email 

Manny@khnm.net. 



23

THE STORY OF RODNEY MASSEY 

There’s 

Hope 

in the 

Hands of 

a Merciful 

God 

Those who knew me from my past would 

never imagine the man I am today. I was an 

angry and bitter kid who became a manipulative, 

deceitful man. 

I cared about one thing in life—me. Years 

of poverty and abuse from my then alcoholic 

father had hardened my heart. I’ll spare 

the details, as I imagine many reading 

this magazine, maybe even you, have 

experienced a similar childhood. Many 

of you know the pain of not having a 

father who loves you the way God intends. 

It leaves a legacy of brokenness and despair 

if not dealt with properly. 

Thank goodness for Momma. She loved 

my siblings and me and did her best to protect 

and provide for us. She often shared 

with us the importance of accepting Jesus 

as our Savior. I didn’t want to hear about 

God back then, but her seeds of faith later 

sprouted in my heart and saved my life. 

That happened when I was in the county jail, strapped to a 

hospital bed. A drug deal had gone bad, and a seventeen-year-old 

boy was dead. The authorities had apprehended me, but not before 

I’d sustained four gunshot wounds myself. It’s only by God’s 

mercy that I am alive. 

Lying on that bed, bleeding, I began to think about my life. It 

didn’t take a genius to realize that my future was bleak, and I 

didn’t have anyone to blame but myself. My own pride and anger 

had put me here. 

I was losing hope as fast as I was losing blood, until God’s mercy 



met me. I suddenly remembered my mother’s words about Jesus. 

She had told me that the Bible said Jesus could forgive the worst 

of sinners for all their sins. All I had to do was confess my sins to 

Him and ask Him to come into my life (1 John 1:9). 

I began to sob. I couldn’t imagine being forgiven for all the 

things I’d done, but I dared to ask Him anyway. I knew His forgiveness 

was my only hope. So, right there on that hospital bed 

in an Illinois jail, I opened my heart to the only One who could 

save me. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, and from 

that moment on, I was a new man. 

Of course, that didn’t mean everything magically became perfect 

in my life. Although faith in Jesus undoes the consequence of 

eternal separation from God (Romans 6:23), it doesn’t necessarily 

undo earthly consequences. I had made many sinful choices in 

my 21 years, including killing someone. I would have to pay for 

my actions. 

I can still remember, however, hoping for mercy when I walked 

into my sentencing hearing. Perhaps like God, the judge would 

forgive me and do away with the harsh consequences I deserved. 

But he didn’t; instead, he sentenced me to 50 years for my crime. 

It was the first step in learning that God’s mercy comes in different 

forms—including incarceration. God knew I needed that 

time in prison so He could bring healing to my broken heart and 

equip me for the good works that He had prepared for me to do 

(Ephesians 2:10). But at that moment, I felt like my life was done. 

Fifty years in prison? How would I survive all that time behind 

bars? I would be an old man by the time I got out! In my mind, it 

was “game over.” 

The judge asked if I had anything to say before they took me 

away. I was too choked up to respond. Back in the jail, I immediately 

went to the shower and cried like a baby. 

I was overwhelmed. I couldn’t see the truth that no matter how 

bleak my future seemed, I still had hope. I had forgotten that Jesus, 

the source of hope, was with me—and He would continue to be with 

me, even in a maximum-security prison where evil often reigned. 

It didn’t help that the guys in jail liked to share about the challenges 

of prison life. I became more frightened by the day as I 

awaited my transfer orders. Thankfully, God sent ministers from 

the outside into the jail to encourage my heart. Those men were 

a gift from God, lights in the darkness. Their presence, faith, 

and love did something to the inside of me. God used them to 

strengthen me for my long prison journey. 

Finally, my transfer day came, and I walked through the gates 

of Menard Correctional Center. I didn’t know what lay ahead, but 

I had decided that, no matter what, I would live for Jesus. I would 

trust His love and His plan for me. 

God honored my commitment, and over the next 25 years in the 

Illinois Department of Corrections, He protected and preserved 

me, both in Menard and, later, in Danville Correctional. Time 

and time again, He came to my defense and blessed me with His 

favor, including shortening my time served from 50 to 25 years. 

It would be impossible to adequately share the experiences of 

those years behind bars. What I can do, however, 

is tell you that God’s mercy sustained me 

and enabled me to not just make it, but to walk 

out those doors a transformed man. 

He displayed His mercy to me in so many 

ways. First and foremost, He saved me from 

eternal damnation. Think about it: God sent 

me to jail instead of the hell I deserved. His 

mercy also saved me from a life of despair and 

destruction here on earth. 

For so long, my evil desires had dragged 

me away from the life God intended. They 

had carried me down a dark road of death and 

destruction. I had fully experienced James 

1:14–15: “Each person is tempted when they 

are dragged away by their own evil desire and 

enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, 

it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is fullgrown, 

gives birth to death.” 

My life was hard as a child—that’s no joke. 

But it was my sin, not the sins of my father, that 

had led me to prison. It was my evil desires that 

gave birth to sin and led to death. I thank God 

for His mercy that stopped me in my tracks 

and put me on a new path of hope. 

Every time I think of what God has done 

for me, I am humbled. God actually thought 

that I was worthy to be saved. Me! Like Paul in 

the Bible, I was a chief of sinners (1 Timothy 

1:15). But that’s exactly who God sent His Son, 

Jesus, to save. Luke 19:10 NIV says, “The Son of 

Man came to seek and to save the lost.” Jesus 

came to save people like me, people the world 

thought would never amount to anything. 

Mercy came in other forms too. God put an 

insatiable desire for His living Word (the Bible) 

into my heart. As I devoured it daily, it sustained 

me. He also placed believers around me 

to help me stand firm in my faith. This circle 

of godly men helped break deadly cycles and 

brought me to a place of forgiveness for others 

and myself. Circles break cycles. 

Manny Mill and representatives of his ministry, 

Koinonia House, made a significant impact 

on my life. Not only did they disciple me in 

God’s Word behind bars, but Manny himself 

met me at the gate when I was released from 

Danville prison in 2014. His ministry provided 

housing, bought me clothes, and paid my rent 

for several months. I wouldn’t have made it 

without their support. 

Today, believe it or not, I serve on the board 



25

of Koinonia House National Ministry. Not 

only that, I am married to a beautiful and 

godly woman. I own a successful HVAC 

company, and I am the campus pastor 

at Stateville Correctional Center. It’s the 

first church plant behind prison bars in the 

state of Illinois. I get to give incarcerated 

men the same thing God gave me—hope, 

inspiration, purpose, and identity. 

I could have easily fallen into a victim 

mentality and become bitter over my life 

If you are still breathing, if 

you saw the sun come up this 

morning, then you still have 

the hope of God’s mercy. All 

you have to do is ask. 


Rodney and Manny conversing on 

the porch of the Koinonia House. 

(See Manny’s story on page 20.) 

circumstances. I could have held a grudge 

against my father and sought revenge. I 

could have embraced self-hatred and 

shame for what I had done in my past. 

But because of God’s mercy, I was able 

to forgive my father, other people who 

had hurt me, and even myself. How can I 

hold a grudge against anyone when I think 

about what God did for me? And because 

I chose to be merciful, God has restored 

my relationship with my father. God’s 

mercy has genuinely made us new men 

(2 Corinthians 5:17). 

Have you encountered God’s mercy? It’s 

waiting for you right now. Lamentations 

3:22–23 promises: “The faithful love of the 

Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. 

Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin 

afresh each morning” (NLT). 

Maybe you gave your life to Jesus somewhere 

in the past, but your desires have 

dragged you down the road 

of death. Even so, my friend— 

that’s not the end! 

According to Lamentations 

3:22–23, God’s mercy is still 

there for you. It never ceases; 

it’s new every morning. 

If you are still breathing, if 

you saw the sun come up this 

morning, then you still have the hope of God’s mercy. 

All you have to do is ask. No matter how far your evil desires 

have dragged you, it’s never too late for His mercy to put your 

life back on track so you can finish where He intended. Your 

failures are never greater than God’s call on your life. All you 

have to do is ask for forgiveness and commit to moving forward 

with Him, in His way this time. 

I have known many people who have felt like their lives are 

over. Maybe you feel that way too. Perhaps you’ve received a 

lengthy prison sentence or you’re facing a divorce or a health 

crisis. Maybe you’ve lost your job or your kids are out of control. 

Can I just tell you, God still has a purpose for you? It’s true. 

It’s never “game over” when you trust your life to the hands 

of a merciful God. 

Be strong and courageous and keep fighting the good fight 

of faith (2 Timothy 4:7). 

Trust that the God who knows you and loves you will not 

fail you. He who has begun a good work in you will bring it to 

completion (Philippians 1:6). 

His faithful mercies will never cease! Even when you fail 

Him, His mercy will not fail you. 

RODNEY MASSEY is 

the campus pastor of 

Stateville Correctional 

Center in Illinois. He 

finds joy in helping 

others discover the 

hope, wholeness, and 

identity available in 

Jesus Christ. 



PHOTO BY JIM WHITMER PHOTOGRAPHY 

TRUST AND OBEY: 

IT’S NOT EASY 

BUT IT’S WORTH IT 

IF YOU READ THIS magazine 

regularly, you know I was 

recently released after having 

served 31 years in the Florida 

Department of Corrections. I’ll 

tell you, I had lost hope of ever 

getting out, but I still believed 

that the God who had given me 

eternal life knew what was best 

for me, even if it wasn’t what I 

wanted at the time. 

Psalm 37:4 promises, “Take 

delight in the Lord, and he will 

give you the desires of your 

heart.” The desire of my heart 

was to get out of prison. I wanted 

that more than anything 

else, and I worked hard at it. I 

filed multiple motions with the 

court, trying (unsuccessfully) 

to prove that I was not guilty of 

the robbery charge against me. 

God wanted me to trust Him 

to get me out in His timing. 

Proverbs 3:5–6 says, “Trust in 

the Lord with all your heart 

and lean not on your own understanding; 

in all your ways 

submit to him, and he will make 

your paths straight” (NIV). I had 

a lot of learning and changing 

to do, but as I read and believed 

God’s Word, He began to use me 

for His purpose. 

Gradually, the desires of my 

heart changed and, as I aligned 

myself with God’s plan for my 

life, I began writing articles and 

stories—hundreds of them. To 

my amazement, God has used 

those stories to reach people 

all over the world and on both 

sides of prison walls. 

As I learned to trust Him, God 

began blessing me in ways that 

I never dreamed could happen. 

He had already set me free from 

a life of sin and bondage, but 

then, when I least expected it, 

He miraculously opened the 

BY ROY A. BORGES 

prison doors and allowed me 

to walk out. And now, every day, 

He shows me His will for my life 

as the blessings continue. 

God used circumstances to 

teach me to trust and obey. Just 

like a metalworker uses fire to 

refine and purify a precious 

metal, God used my circumstances 

to refine and purify me. 

Obeying God requires surrender 

and trust, and it can 

be hard to do, especially if it 

means giving up something we 

want. We shouldn’t expect our 

obedience to God to be easy or 

to come naturally, but how we 

look at it can make a difference. 

We can push back and complain, 

or we can try to see how 

God is using it to stretch us into 

the people He wants us to be. 

Genesis 22:1–19 gives us an 

incredible story of obedience 

and trust. There, God tested 

Abraham by asking him to 

hand over his only son, Isaac, as 

a sacrifice! Most people would 

consider this request over the 

top, but Abraham had already 

learned many tough lessons 

about obeying God. Though 

I’m sure he was shocked and in 

agony at the command God had 

given him, Abraham gave swift 

obedience. Seeing his faithful 

trust, God stopped Abraham 

from completing the task and 

spared Isaac’s life. After that, 

God made and fulfilled many 

promises for Abraham, all because 

he was willing to trust 

God and obey His commands. 

I had to learn to trust God’s 

timing and His ability to provide 

too. God is in control of 

everything. He changes the 

hearts of people and the circumstances 

that surround 

them. Today, on the outside, I 

can see how true that is, and I 

watch and pray for God’s will to 

be done in my life. 

Committing everything 

to Him means trusting that 

He cares for me more than I 

care for myself. I had to wait 

31 years for God to open the 

prison doors, but I know that 

the long wait was for my ultimate 

good. Many of the things 

I want to do now take time and 

patience, and I must trust God’s 

timing to accomplish them— 

but I know that He will make a 

way for them to happen. 

If you learn to obey Him, God 

will use your life for something 

good too. 

ROY A. BORGES served 31 

years in the Florida Department of 

Corrections, where he realized his 

need for a Savior. While incarcerated, 

Roy ministered to others through his 

writings, over 300 of which have been 

published. He now lives in Tampa, 

Florida, and is a member of the 

Victorious Living writing team. 



27


ACCEPT GOD’S INVITATION 

BY KRISTI OVERTON JOHNSON 

IT WAS THE END OF A FANTASTIC WEEKEND at Callaway 

Gardens in Pine Mountain, Georgia. I was there for the Masters 

Water Ski and Wakeboard Tournament. Long gone were my days 

of competing. Now I was in an exhibitor’s booth, sharing the mission 

of Victorious Living. 

God had shown up in amazing ways all weekend, including 

introducing me to a man from Alabama who had heard me speak 

when he was “residing” at Club Fed (Coleman Federal Prison). 

We were standing next to each other at the food truck when he 

recognized me. It was amazing to hear how God had impacted 

his life through our outreaches. 

I didn’t think God could top that, but He did. 

I had just settled back in my chair on the beach to watch the 

men’s jump event, when one of the top jumpers took a horrendous 

crash. His screams echoed across Robin Lake. 

I immediately started praying. I had never met this jumper, 

but I knew his crash could end his career. My heart hurt for him. 

As I prayed, I sensed the Lord saying, “Go lay your hands on him 

and pray. I will heal his hip and knee.” 

Anxiety welled up within me. What if this man was offended and 

rejected me? What if the medical team wouldn’t let me get close? 

What if I prayed and nothing happened? What if I looked like a fool? 

I stayed in my seat, battling these questions. Moments passed, 

and the athlete was removed from the water and taken to a restricted 

area where a medical team could examine him. Still, like 

the story of Jacob in Genesis 32, I continued to wrestle with God. 

But He was winning, and my own hips were hurting! 

Finally, I got up and approached the restricted area. “Walk 

through the gate like you own the place, Kristi,” I told myself. If I 

walked in with confidence and a look of authority, surely I’d get 

through. No one questions a woman on a mission. 

Wrong. I hadn’t made it three steps before the security guard 

stopped me. “Ma’am, I need to see your credentials,” she said. 

I fumbled with words, finally blurting out, “I’m the event clergy.” 

What?! Where had that come from? But before I could explain, a 

policeman walked up. Uh oh! 

To my surprise, he said, “She’s who she says she is; let her 

through so she can go pray for that skier.” I had spoken with this 

man at other events over the years. He had a huge heart for the 

Lord and for prison ministry. The Lord had sent him, a man with 

true authority, to my aid. 

I went to where the athlete lay and watched from behind the 

medical team. I tried hard to muster up the courage to approach 

him but stayed frozen in place. Then I saw his mom, and I de- 



PHOTO BY TASHI-DELEK 

vised a plan. 

“Ma’am,” I said. “Could I pray with you for your son?” What 

mother would turn that down? With tears in her eyes, she agreed 

and thanked me. 

We prayed, and I left. I went back to our ministry booth and 

sat down. But the Holy Spirit followed me there and spoke to my 

spirit. “I asked you to lay your hands on that young man and pray 

for him, not his mother.” 

I felt the sting of conviction. I knew I had disobeyed the Lord’s 

instructions. My fear of rejection had gotten the best of me. But 

still, I had prayed for him. Why couldn’t God heal him that way? 

Before I could even finish that thought, God answered. “Yes, I 

could heal him, but how will he know it was Me? He didn’t hear 

your prayer; his mother did. Now go to him, touch him, and I will 

send My healing power into him. He will know without a doubt 

that it was Me.” 

I watched as the medics approached him with a stretcher. In a 

few minutes, he would be gone. I 

felt sick to my stomach. The clock 

was ticking. If I was going to obey, 

I had to do it now. 

our hands together. He had given me specific instructions to lay 

my hands on this injured man as a touchpoint of His power, but 

I had forgotten that part of the instruction. 

When I finished praying, I told the athlete he would be just fine. 

Those words were fueled entirely by faith because I hadn’t felt 

anything special happen during my prayer. Even after I prayed, 

there was no visible evidence to me that the man had been healed. 

I know now, you don’t have to see or feel anything for God to 

be working. You just need to trust and obey and leave the results 

to Him. 

The following day, Mike told me that the athlete was fine. I went 

into a dance of celebration that would surely have embarrassed 

my kids, had they seen me. God had shown up and shown off. 

Two weeks later, I spoke with that athlete on the phone. He 

told me that he had been sure his injuries would mean his skiing 

career was over. He’d even thought that maybe the accident was 

a sign that it was time for him to hang up his skis and place his 

focus elsewhere. 

He admitted that he attended 

church on Christmas and Easter 

with his wife and mother, but he’d 

I rose from my chair and walked 

YOU DON’T HAVE 

never sought a personal relationship 

with God. He had occasion- 

back toward the injured man, who 

TO SEE OR FEEL 

was now strapped securely on the 

ally felt his heart being drawn to 

stretcher and being loaded into 

ANYTHING FOR GOD 

God, but water-skiing goals and 

the ambulance. “Lord, help me 

commitments had always taken 

TO BE WORKING. YOU 

get into that vehicle,” I murmured. 

precedent. 

Just then, I realized that one 

JUST NEED TO TRUST 

But that day, he said, there was 

of my former coaches was there, 

no denying the realness of God. 

AND OBEY AND LEAVE 

talking to the medic. I approached 

He went on to tell me how that, 

him and said, “Mike, I need to get 

on that ambulance and pray with 

him before they take him to the 

hospital.” 

“Yes, you do,” he agreed. He 

THE RESULTS TO HIM. 

when our hands joined, “energy” 

had entered his body and healed 

his leg. He said it was like God was 

right there, in his face, saying, “I 

am here. I am real. Open your 

called the medic over and explained our situation. She pointed 

to the back of the ambulance and said, “Get in there, honey!” 

As I climbed in, my policeman friend yelled from behind me, “I 

am touching and agreeing, sister!” He was there, ready to lay hands 

on the injured man and agree with me in prayer for his healing. I 

almost chuckled; only God could arrange a scene like this. 

The athlete looked a bit confused when I knelt beside him, 

but he seemed to relax when I asked if I could pray. He told me 

later that he agreed to let me pray because he needed a sense of 

peace amid his chaos. 

My eyes were open while I prayed, and the sight I witnessed 

caused my faith to soar. Mike was holding one of the man’s feet, 

while Mr. Policeman was holding the other. Four medics were 

kneeling beside the stretcher with their hands on him. Everyone 

heart to Me.” 

That day on the phone, I had the opportunity to share more with 

my new friend about the One who loved him beyond measure. 

And then I got to lead him through a prayer of salvation as he 

asked Jesus Christ to be his Savior and Lord. 

You know, I was blessed to win eight US Masters Water Ski titles 

during my ski career. But nothing compared to being a part of 

God’s plan for this man that God had put in front of me. I can’t 

wait to see how God uses him to impact the world of water skiing. 

Friend, when God tells you to move out of your seat, move! 

Don’t be afraid or worry about the details; He has everything 

prepared. All you have to do is get up, move forward, and leave 

the results to the Lord. 

And be ready to be amazed. 

had their heads bowed. 

KRISTI OVERTON JOHNSON encourages and equips people for victory 

I felt a hand slip into mine. The athlete told me later that I through her writings, speaking engagements, and prison ministry. To learn 

grabbed his hand, but I didn’t. Looking back, I believe God brought more, go to kojministries.org. 



29

TRUSTING GOD, 

Even unto Death 

BY MAUREEN HOOKER 

y husband, Jim, and 

I strolled down the boardwalk toward the 

roller coaster. We had promised our grandsons 

a ride. Soon, the boys were whipping 

above us in a sound mix of merry-go-round 

calliope and about a million squealing children. 

It’s a wonder I heard my phone. 

“Hello.” 

“Maureen, where are you?” 

“Ocean City, New Jersey. Who is this?” 

“Jessica from the transplant clinic. Can 

you leave right now and drive straight to 

the hospital? We have a heart for you.” 

“Yes! We are on our way!” 

Ten years earlier, chemotherapy for 

breast cancer had damaged my heart, and 

medications had become less effective over 

time. First, I got by with a pacemaker, then 

an implanted defibrillator, and finally, I had 

been scheduled for a heart pump called a 

Left Ventricular Assist Device (LVAD). 

The thought of being plugged into a wall 

overnight, being unable to get the device 

wet, and dealing with flashing lights and 

batteries was a bit unnerving. I am a klutzy 

person—I was terrified I would kill myself 

by accidentally pulling the wires out of my 

body during my sleep. 

The only other alternative was a heart 

transplant, but that seemed impossible. 

Very few people receive hearts. Besides, I 

was 69, I have blood type B (only 8 percent 

of the general population has B), and I was 

a woman with a small chest cavity. The size 

of the heart is critical; it can’t be too big or 

too small. My only viable option seemed to 

be the LVAD, so I had agreed to have the 

surgery after our Labor Day vacation. 

And then came that call. It was as unexpected 

as a UFO landing! God showed me 

that nothing is impossible for Him. 

All I could think about in the car on the 

way to Washington Hospital Center was 

that, somewhere, a devastated family 

was saying goodbye to their loved one. I 

imagined the donor’s family would not be 

happy to hear that a grandmother was getting 

their daughter’s heart. Surely, they’d 

prefer her heart to go to a younger, more 

deserving patient. I hoped that one day I’d 

be able to express my gratitude to them. 

Those thoughts, however, were quickly 

ushered to the back of my mind as the doctors 

wheeled me into the operating room. 

On September 8, 2011, five days after my 

transplant, I awoke to unbearable pain. I 

tried to call for help but I couldn’t breathe. I 

couldn’t even get enough air to form words. 

From a place near the ceiling above the 

door, I looked down and saw myself dead. 

Internal bleeding had caused my left 

lung to partially collapse. In an emergency 

surgery, the doctors reopened my chest 

and removed a large blood clot, along with 

two liters of fluid in my chest cavity. I survived, 

but only by the grace of God. 

During my earlier bout with breast cancer, 

Jim had begun to seek God. He had 

prayed earnestly for my healing, and when 

God touched me in undeserved ways, Jim 

had become a believer. 

The change God’s love made in the 

man I’d been married to for decades was 

undeniable, and it drew my attention to 

the Lord. Before long, I’d surrendered my 

life to Jesus too. Now, through this heart 

transplant, God was giving me a second 

chance at life, and I wasn’t going to waste 

it. I promised myself and Him that I would 

be a better person this go around and that 

I would be more thankful for life’s most 

basic gifts. 

Grateful to God, Jim and I led Christcentered 

lives. We went to church, volunteered, 

served, told others about God, and 

prayed. We did all the things Christians are 

“supposed to do.” And yet, the very worst 

thing I could imagine happened. 

My true heart condition came to light 

when our son chose a lifestyle that I did 

not want him to have. He was an educated 

adult, living on his own, and employed 

most of the time. That’s all good, but he 

gambled. It was his career, and I disapproved. 

I was dead set against it; and I 

made sure he knew it. 

I wanted Joe to be married and settled 

and raising my grandchildren. I had this 

vision of who my son should be, and I resented 

Joe for not meeting my standards. 

It wasn’t long before Joe cut his father and 

me entirely out of his life. He even stopped 

coming home on holidays. He called only 

when he needed money. 

I wish I could say I handled the situation 

with a Christ-like manner, but I did not. I 

am more than ashamed by the lack of love 

and kindness I displayed. It became ob- 


PHOTO BY GERI SIMPKINS 

vious that I needed a new spiritual heart, 

not just a physical one. I needed God’s love 

to soften my heart of stone that tended to 

complain, judge, and control others. I needed 

Him to transform it into a gentle, kind, 

and trusting heart (Ezekiel 36:26). 

Pride and stubbornness fueled my anger. 

I was confident I was right. I was always 

right. The funny thing is, in our house, Jim 

always thought he was right too, and so did 

Joe. We each looked at life through dirty 

lenses that showed everything according 

to our own selfish desires. 

As many families do, we had studiously 

avoided talking about some important 

things like addictions, anger, and repeated 

familial behaviors. They were our proverbial 

elephants in the room, but we kept walking 

around them until they trampled us. 

Instead of honestly evaluating who we 

were and where we had come from, we kept 

perpetuating our bad behaviors. We made 

excuses for our decisions, self-medicated, 

and blamed others for our circumstances 

and weaknesses. Thank goodness for the 

grace of God that covers a multitude of sins 

(1 Peter 4:8). 

And then Joe called. He was living in Las 

Vegas and had multiple myeloma, a type of 

blood cancer. He needed help. We’d tried to 

help him previously, but he had distanced 

himself from Jim and me. I wasn’t sure I 

wanted to go through all that again. 

We learned later that Joe was being 

evicted from his apartment and that his 

car had been repossessed. I had sensed 

desperation when he asked to come home, 

but I’d had no idea of the depths of his 

hopelessness. So I chose not to respond 

to his pleas. I didn’t know how to fix his 

situation, so I did nothing. 

Instead, I waited for God to change Joe. 

I went to counseling, where I soon discovered 

that God wanted to change me. He 

wanted me to trust Him and quit trying to 

control my son and every outcome in life. 

One night, in desperation, I came to 

that moment of trust. “You have to help 

me, God,” I cried. “I have no idea how to 

help my son. God, You were there when he 

was created. You were there when he was 

born, and You have been there for every 



31

God wanted to change me. He 

wanted me to trust Him and 

quit trying to control my son 

and every outcome in life. 

moment of his life. You love him more than 

I do, and he is as much Your son as he is 

mine. I don’t know what else to do, God. 

I’m giving Joe back to You.” 

Suddenly, I remembered how God had 

tested Abraham’s loyalty and love by instructing 

him to bring his son, Isaac, to 

Mount Moriah and sacrifice him there 

(Genesis 22). Abraham didn’t know what 

would happen, but he trusted God with 

Isaac’s life. So I prayed and told God that I 

trusted Him with Joe’s life. 

That night, I dreamed I was walking up 

a mountain. Everything around me was 

dusty; even the rocks were the color of desert 

sand. Then I heard a small voice, like a 

whisper, saying, “Unto death?” 

The question stopped me cold. Who 

would be asking that? Surely not God. But 

that same small voice asked again, “Unto 

death?” 

“Yes!” I answered. “Even unto death. I 

promise, God; I will never second-guess 

You again.” Proverbs 3:5 came to mind: 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and 

lean not on your own understanding.” 

Suddenly, everything went impenetrably 

dark, and then, an internal explosion jolted 

through my body. I was buffeted around 

like a flag in a hurricane. It was as if every 

cell of my body was on fire separately and 

simultaneously. I was sure I would die before 

I could wake up. 

Fighting for my life, I struggled to yell, 

and I tried to push Jim, but I couldn’t. I 

woke up twisting and moaning. I thought 

I wouldn’t be able to stand or walk, but I 

had no trouble getting out of bed. I seemed 

to be okay. What in the world? 

I told Jim we had to go to Urgent Care. 

Something was wrong. I wasn’t about to 

risk another night like the one I’d just 

survived! The doctor, however, couldn’t 

find any medical explanation for what had 

happened, and, hours later, sent us home. 

Jim and 

Maureen with 

their young 

family. 

On the way back, the display on my 

phone lit up. It said, “Unknown Caller.” 

“It’s just a telemarketer,” I thought. “I 

won’t answer.” I fumbled to silence the 

phone but accidentally answered instead. 

A voice asked, “Is this Maureen Hooker?” 

“Yes.” 

“Are you the mother of Joseph Patrick 

Hooker?” 

“Yes.” I put the phone on speaker, and 

Jim pulled off the road. 

An officer identified himself and proceeded 

to tell me that my son had called 

911 that morning at 10:55 to report a shooting 

in his apartment. By the time they got 

there, Joe had shot himself. He was gone. 

Jim and I sat there, stunned. 

It’s hard to describe the pain of the next 

few months. Time was suspended in a daily 

fog of guilt and self-incrimination. Surely 

there was some way I could have prevented 

Joe’s death. What if Jim and I had told him 

about our family issues instead of avoiding 

them? What if we had talked about the 

generational gambling in Jim’s family and 

the fact that both his father and his grandfather 

had committed suicide? What if we’d 

explained to Joe why we were so against 

his choices. Would my son still be alive? 

Months later, I discovered the paperwork 

from my urgent care visit. In the havoc that 

followed Joe’s death, I had forgotten about 

that. Then the words “unto death” came to 

mind, and I remembered Proverbs 3:5. I 

suddenly remembered the dream and that 

strange physical wrestling and pain. Had 

I experienced some of the turmoil my son 

had been going through that night? Maybe. 

I am not sure. 

But what I do know is that God spoke 

those words and gave me that verse just 

hours before my son took his life. “Trust 

Me, Maureen,” He was saying, “even though 

life is headed in a direction you don’t want 

to go. Trust Me, even though you won’t have 

all the answers to your questions. Trust Me, 

even if this situation ends in death. Lean 

into Me, and I will carry you.” 

It’s been three years since Joe’s death, 

and this momma’s heart still aches for her 

son. I continue to question myself, and I 

still wrestle with guilt at times. Survivors 

of suicide victims often encounter debilitating 

guilt for years. But I’ve also given my 

questions and guilt to God and, as I trust 

Him, He has given me peace and even joy. 

What a great exchange! He takes my burdens 

and gives my heart and mind rest. He 

truly is the Savior of my soul. 

You can have rest and be free of guilt, 

too. “Come to Me,” Jesus says in Matthew 

11:28–29, “And I will give you rest.” 

And He will—but the key to God’s rest is 

found in Proverbs 3:5—trusting God, His 

love, His heart, and His plan for you and 

your loved ones—even “unto death.” 

The faithful love of God will not fail you. 

MAUREEN HOOKER is a mother, wife, and 

friend. She is a heart transplant recipient who is 

living proof that miracles do happen. She would be 

eternally grateful to the Lord Jesus Christ if what is 

written here can benefit someone else. 


GOING DEEPER: 

Trust Your Creator 

All Scripture referenced here is from the New Living Translation. 

Every author in this issue had a choice— 

they could continue to struggle down a path 

destined for chaos, confusion, and destruction 

or surrender their lives and circumstances 

to the Lord and trust Him to work 

out the details. As you’ve read, each author 

trusted God’s love and His plan, and God 

made a way through every trial. 

What do you need to surrender to God? 

What do you need to overcome? Have your 

best efforts and thinking failed you? Identify 

some situations where you struggle to give 

God control: 

1. 

2. 

3. 

Friends, we cannot solve our problems, 

change our attitudes, beat our addictions, 

or turn from our old lifestyles on our own. 

We need God’s help. That’s why He sent His 

Son. Believing in Jesus’s work on the cross 

not only secures our eternal salvation but 

ensures our earthly victories too. 

Grab your Bible, pen, and notebook, and 

let’s take a deep look into the following 

scriptures: 

Deuteronomy 31:8 

Joshua 1:9 

Psalms 9:10, 28:7, 34:17–18, 37:5, 

55:22, 56:3, 112:7 

Proverbs 3:5–6, 18:10 

Isaiah 26:3–4, 41:10 

Jeremiah 17:7–8 

Matthew 6:25–34 

2 Corinthians 12:9 

Philippians 4:6–7 

Hebrews 4:16 

1 Peter 5:7 

2 Timothy 1:7 

Write these scriptures down and focus on 

their promises. For example, did you see in 

Deuteronomy 31:8, that God promises to personally 

go ahead of you, to be with you, and 

to never fail or abandon you? Commit these 

promises to memory. Ask God to write them 

on your heart. That way, you can recall them 

in times of trouble. They will be life to you. 

When you understand how insufficient you 

are apart from God and surrender your life to 

Him, He’ll begin a transformation process in 

your heart and mind. He’ll make you an overcomer 

in every situation (Romans 8:37). 

DO YOU NEED REST? 

“Come to me, all you who are 

weary and burdened, and I will 

give you rest.” –Matthew 11:28 

Jared Emerson, Artist, jaredemerson.com 

Do you need rest? Peace? Freedom? Forgiveness? Restoration? 

Call out to Jesus, accept Him as your Savior, and be made whole. 

Pray: “Jesus, I invite You into my life. I confess that I am a sinner in 

need of a Savior. Thank You for saving me from my sins and making 

me whole. Thank You for laying down Your life for me so that I can 

have a new life in You. I receive, by faith, this forgiveness of sin. Take 

my life, my past and my future. Guide my steps and speak to my 

heart, Lord. Use me, God. Amen.” 

Let us know of your decision so we can help you grow in your faith. 

Write to: VL Correspondence, PO Box 2751, Greenville, NC 27836. 



33

WHAT NOW? 

I’ve Accepted God’s Salvation. 

Now What? 

PERHAPS AFTER READING the stories in this magazine, you’ve surrendered your life to 

Jesus. Congratulations—it’s the most important decision you will ever make! But you might 

be wondering, now what? Here are five ways to ensure spiritual growth. Remember, the 

Christian life is a journey that brings lifelong transformation. 

1. PRAY. Talk to God about everything and listen for His response. You don’t need fancy 

words, just a sincere heart. 

2. STUDY THE BIBLE. God’s Word contains all the instructions we need for life. Get into 

a Bible study and discover new revelations daily. See below for free resources. 

3. GET BAPTIZED. Although baptism is not a requirement of salvation, the Bible 

clearly tells us that we are to be water baptized after salvation. Baptism symbolizes 

our dying to sin and being raised to a new life in Christ Jesus (Romans 6:4). Prison 

restrictions may make immersion by water difficult, so get creative and let the Holy 

Spirit reveal how you can take this step of obedience until immersion is possible. 

4. FIND CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY. Join a local congregation of Christ-followers. If 

incarceration makes attending church difficult, fellowship with other believers the 

best you can. They will help you stand strong and keep you accountable. 

5. TELL SOMEONE. Share your decision to follow Christ and tell them what He has 

done for you. And then, tell us! We’d love to hear from you. 

RESOURCES 

Below are opportunities for free Christian-based 

resources for both English- and Spanish-speaking 

inmates and chaplains. When you contact the 

addresses below, tell our partners VL referred you. 

VICTORIOUS LIVING 

Personal correspondence, quarterly devotions, and subscription 

to VLMag for prison inmates only. Bulk copies of VLMag 

available for jail and prison libraries at chaplain’s request. 


2ND OPPORTUNITY 

Reentry and employmentreadiness 

programming, 

and job and housing 

referrals for inmates 

in jails and prisons 

upon request. 

970 N. Oaklawn Ave. 

Suite 302 

Elmhurst, IL 60126 

CLI PRISON ALLIANCE 

Personal discipleship studies 

by mail for inmates in jails 

and prisons; free Christian 

books and Bibles for libraries 

at request of chaplain or 

authorized personnel. 

PO Box 97095 

Raleigh, NC 27624 

RESCUED NOT ARRESTED 

Free NIV Bibles, Bible study 

correspondence course, and 

NIV Life Application Study 

Bible upon completion of 

study for inmates in 

jails and prisons. 

PO Box 90606 

Phoenix, AZ 85066 

GLOBAL LEADERSHIP 

SUMMIT 

Bring world-class 

leadership training 

and tools to your facility 

through The GL Summit 

and GL Network. Write to 

GlobalLeadership.org. 

PO Box 3188 

Barrington, IL 60011 

34 

WWW.VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 

VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

VL - Issue 42 - January 2022

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